You're an Angel

part ten (blurry)

The gun was shaking in his hand. "not so bad, is it? you're turn." Blurry said. It was almost like Blurry had become a friend. A terrifying friend, but a friend. "nobody?" Tyler asked again, his voice ever smaller. "nobody." He sat down on the curb and lowered the gun. How could nobody care? Someone had to care... his parents? They hadn't spoken for months, why would they? His siblings? They had their own families now. Josh didn't care. And Josh was the only one that mattered. Tyler stopped. 

Josh. 

Of course Josh cared. And his parents... his family. Of course they cared. If no one else, he had them. Of course Josh cared, why else would he want so badly to make more music? Why else would he agree to cancel tour in the first place? 

Of course Joshua Dun cared. 

Blurry shot through him, electrifying pain lighting up every bone in his body. "NOBODY. NOBODY CARES. ME. ONLYME. ONLYM E ONLY ME ON LYM E ONLYME. ME ME ME. NO ONE. NOBODY."

"NO!" Tyler screamed. "I AM NOT ALONE, AND YOU ARE NOT GOING TO HURT ME." The pain left. It... couldn't be that easy, it was never that easy. Tyler looked down at the gun in his hands. He stood up and threw it as far as he could into the trees behind him. "Not tonight." He got back into his car and started driving, in the direction he thought was home. "Not tonight, and not ever," He reached a stoplight that was familiar, and waited for green. "Not tonight," he repeated. Each time he said it, he felt stronger. More in control. The light changed, and Tyler rolled forward. Someone in a hoodie was walking down the street near him. He rolled down the window. "Hey, are you okay?" He called. The person looked up, and pulled down their hood. It was... no, that's impossible. Red eyes stared back at him. "geto utof th ecar, tyler." Blurry said. Tyler felt like puking. This was impossible. Blurry couldn't be real. He was just a bad dream. Still, he opened the door and got out. Blurry smirked. "there is only me," he said, and Tyler felt like the skin was being ripped off his chest. Blurry was back inside his head. Back inside his head and his soul, sucking life from Tyler already. He watched the familiar black crawl up his arms. He was bleeding. Tyler did his best to control his breathing. Blurry wasn't doing anything at the moment, but he felt heavier, physically. The black was already receding again. He was shaking. He zipped up his hoodie, and stopped in front of the only place he knew where to go. 

  Josh answered the door looking exhausted. "Tyler?" He asked. The other boy sniffed a little "Hey," he said. "I... what I said before... I'm sorry. I want to make music. I want to help. I'm sorry," His voice cracked toward the end. Josh led him inside. Tyler's chest stung each time he took a step, but he kept quiet. Blurry hadn't really left his head, it was all a way to freak him out, right? There was a notebook on Josh's bed. Blurred vision returned "Were you trying to write songs?" Tyler heard himself ask, and watched as his hands flipped through the pages. "Well, yeah, I mean, I couldn't just leave the clique hanging. I had to give them something, I had to give you something. Whatever, though, you're here now, so I guess there's no need for it," Josh said, reaching for his songs. "No, Josh, these are really good! We can use these!" Tyler looked up. It didn't feel like Blurry was controlling him, but it didn't feel like he was controlling himself either. One of the lines caught Tyler's eye and he smiled. Josh was really trying. "Ty, why are you still wearing your hoodie? Aren't you hot?" Josh asked. Tyler glanced down at his torso, hiding his discomfort. Blurry couldn't hurt him, right? "cold," he said, without looking up. Josh raised an eyebrow. "Dude, it's like 80 degrees in here, how are you cold?" 

"Just cold, I dunno," 

"Tyler." 

Tyler looked up. "What?" 

"What's wrong? And where were you?" 

Tyler removed the hood, revealing a newly buzzed head. "On second thought, it is a little warm," He said, trying to change the subject. Moving his arms even that much felt like running a cheese grater across his rib cage.

Tyler started taking off his jacket, reassuring himself that Blurry couldn't have harmed him physically. "What's up with you tonight, Tyler? You seem..." Josh stopped as Tyler set down his hoodie.  "Tyler..." 

Tyler looked down, and moved his shoulders to try to shake off the burning. His shirt was red... Blurry couldn't hurt him, right? "I can do whatever I want," a low voice replied. Tyler choked. "Tyler, are you okay?" Josh asked again. Tyler looked up at him. "I don't know," he said, and repeated the cycle from earlier, white, red, and then completely black.