Forever and Always

Chapter 20

I had fell asleep in the chair, and when I woke up Harry was looking at me. He gave me a soft smile. I had never seen him so vulenerable. He looked almost like a small boy, afraid of everything. Look what I've done to him. 

Before either of us could say anything the doctor came in.

"Well Harry, I think you'll be able to leave today. Actually right now. Miss, I need you to sign a few papers." I walked out of the room with the doctor, and signed so many papers that my hand hurt. "Good luck today." he smiled and then left to go to another room. I walked into the lobby and saw Harry waiting in his normal clothes that he was wearing yesterday. I suddenly felt nervous. Today was the day. What if he did have to go to jail? What would I ever do without him?

I walked up to Harry and wrapped my arms around his waist as if it was the last day I will ever see him.

"Don't worry, everything will be fine." he whispered and we then walked out the doors and road a taxi back to the dorms. I really needed a car.

I but on some make up and got into my dress that I had picked out for today. I looked at myself in the mirror and took a deep breath. I stood there for a while just breathing in deeply. Trying to calm myself. That's what Courtney had said, breathing in deeply and slowly calmed your nerves. It did actually calm me a little but not completely. How could anything calm me for this moment? 

I jumped as there was a knock on the door. I opened it just a crack and then wide open when I saw it was Harry. He was in his suit and didn't look nervous at all. He seemed kind of calm, at least on the outside. This morning I found out that Harry did have a vunerable side so right now he could be curled up in a ball inside. I guess I'll never understand Harry.

"You ready?" he asked, I nodded. I wasn't really, we both knew that. I had to act like I was, I had to be brave right now. It was hard though. All sorts of shit has been happening to me. I felt like crying right now. I felt like holding Harry back so that we didn't have to go. I felt like finding some weird which lady to bring Claire back. But none of that stuff could happen. All this had to happen, but I was never prepared for any of it. 

Harry pulled a van door opened for me, and then he closed it. I buckled myself in and saw Drew in the drivers seat. This must be his car. 

"Hello April." he smiled, I smiled back. He must've gotten the sense of how nervous I was because he stopped talking for a while. Nervously playing with his thumbs.

Harry got in the car and then we drove to the court house in silence. It was awkward and uncomfortable. I was glad when we parked so I could get some fresh air. It was like suficating in their, I couldn't breath, or at least I didn't want to. 

I gasped as I jumped out the car and then I puked. I surprised myself when I saw it falling to the ground. I felt a large hand on back, patting it softly but hard enough to get all of the disgusting substence out. Someone offered me a little bag of kleenexes to whip it off my mouth. I stood up straight, Harry pulled me closer to him. Drew then handed me a little box of mints to get the taste and awful smell out my mouth. I couldn't believe I just did that. I wondered if anyone saw that, hopefully not. 

We walked in to the court house, I was happy that it was cold. That would really help keep what ever remaining food there was in my stomach. There were a few papers to be signed and then we walked into the room. A few other people with their own cases sat in wood seats. We sat in the back, Drew was over talking to someone. I leaned my head on Harry's shoulder.

"How many times have you been to court?" I whispered, I didn't even know why. I didn't really want to know.

"A few times." Harry whispered. "I thought the last time would be my last, but clearly not."

"What did you really do?" I asked next not able to control my words.

"What do you meen?"

"I know you didn't just punch a guy or whatever excuse you made to make it seem like everything would be okay. Clearly nothing is okay or else we wouldn't be in this room." I had to keep my voice down so no one would hear, espcially not the judge. It was alot harder than I thought it was going to be.

"April, I can't tell you." I pulled away from him.

"You have to tell me, I'm going to find out anyway so what's the point in hiding it from me?"

"You don't realize how hard this is for me. I don't want to tell you. Why can't you wait and you'll find out when I'm up there."

"I don't want to find out that way Harry. I want you to tell me, not anyone else. You've already lied to me, please just tell me the truth." he sighed. 

"It was really bad."

"I can tell." he glared at me with a smirk on his face. I wanted to slap it off but I couldn't do that, espcially not here.

"I wanted to donate some money to a suicide organization because of Claire and all, but I didn't have any money. I went to a drug store and took some money and then ran, they guy behind the counter was running after me. I punched him, and then some guys called the cops. I then...." he paused. "Punched the police officers and I got away. Then the next night they were chasing me again, I had taken it to the organization and was going into a drug store to get us slushies. When they were chasing me I destroied one of the cars and got away again. The next day they caught me." My mouth was wide open. What was he thinking?

"Harry....." I began to say.

"I know it was wrong and stupid but....... I saw you so sad about Claire I couldn't sit around and do nothing. I then remembered a friend that I had. She was a girl and we were really close, the only friend I had as a child. She was a lesibien and was bullied at school. One day it was too much for her and then she killed herself. I took action and that was the first time I was ever behind bars."

"Harry, I understand you were trying to help but you can't keep doing stuff like that." he was looking at the ground. Neither of us knew what to say. 

We sat in silence until the judge called the next case forward. Harry stood up and walked up with Drew following him. They both sat at one table, and another two guys at the other table. I saw what one guy looked like. Black eye, bandage around his head, bandages around a hand, and a few bruises on his face and jaw. What the hell did Harry do? 

I became even more nervous. The judge could see what Harry had done to the man, and also his record from the past. Things did not look good at all. I had little faith that the judge would say Harry was inicent. He wasn't. I knew he wasn't. I knew that after today, in a few weeks, the boy I love would be behind bars. The only time I would ever get to talk to him was behind glass, talking through phones. Me in normal clothes, him in orange clothes. He would probably have that same smile, but his eyes would be dark and tired. I wouldn't have a smile and my eyes would be filled with tears. And Harry wouldn't be able to whip them away ever again. 

I watched intently as Drew did his job, very well actually. But he was losing, he had nothing to say that Harry shouldn't be in jail. The other guy would win, no doubt about it. I felt tears running down my cheeks, and I knew Harry was watching me. I couldn't look at him though, that would make things so much worse for me, and for him.

"Please stand." the judge said, Harry turned his head and stood. So did the opposing side. I watched quietly, holding back my tears, this was it.

"Your honor, may I please say a few words." Harry said suddenly. I then held my breath. What was he going to say? Was he going to do something to make his sentence even longer than it must already be? "See that girl back there in the dress?" he pointed to me. The judge looked at me, I saw a flash of sympathy but then it disappeared. "She's my girlfriend, I know this shouldn't have an effect, but I was doing all that for her. She recently lost her best friend, and I was just trying to find some money to help other kids thinking the same things her best friend had." what was he doing? He's an idiot! The judge isn't going to care about that stuff! He's pratically saying he's guilty! "That's all." he nodded and then went silent.

The judge looked at me, then at Harry, then at the guy with all the bandages. 

"Harry Styles, I pronounce you guilty." she then left.

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