Barely Surviving // TWD // Daryl Dixon #Wattys2016

Chapter XXXIII -- Feelings

"... It's a blessed thing to love and feel loved in return."

― E.A. Bucchianeri, Brushstrokes of a Gadfly

Daryl's POV

Rick, Michonne and Carl had come back the day before with several weapons and ammunition, including a brand new crossbow and arrows, which made my day. I felt like a kid on Christmas but I barely let them see that, I just smiled and admired it. I wanted to try it right away, but I had to keep watch, so I was going to try this beauty later.

I was thinking about giving my old crossbow to Cecilia, I started teaching her how to use it yesterday and what would be the use of learning if she wasn't going to put it into practice out there, it was just the right thing to do.

Speaking of her, we had gotten even closer than before, closer than I could have ever imagined and to be honest, it scared me. This wasn't me, this wasn't something I would normally do with someone but I couldn't help it, and that was the scariest part of it. I couldn't control it.

I just wanted to be around her all day, I wanted to help her, I wanted to be there for her, I just wanted her to need me in some way and I couldn't do anything to stop those feelings or my actions, this girl had changed me and I would like to think the change was for the best.

Merle had been teasing me about it since he got here, telling me I was helplessly in love with Cecilia, that I was just in denial, but I wasn't in denial... or in love. I just let her in, that was it.

"I don't get attached," Merle mocked me, I was next to him on the tower, keeping watch.

Cecilia was outside, below us, talking to Michonne. The blonde girl had a small smile on her lips as the older girl was telling her something. I had been staring at her without really noticing, but Merle did.

He waved a wand in front of my face, I just sighed in frustration and turned to glare at Merle. He looked from me to where I had been looking seconds ago and his lips turned into a smirk.

"I knew you were always the sweet one, baby brother," Merle muttered as he looked at Cecilia.

"Shut up."

I couldn't help but look back at Cecilia, she had a hand on her hip and now she was the one talking, I hadn't realized how expressive she was when she talked. She had her other hand in the air, moving it softly as she talked to make emphasis or something and every once in a while she would use both hands, Michonne told her something and Cecilia just shook her hand as she put her hand over her mouth a bit dramatically.

"No way!" I actually heard Cecilia saying to the other girl. "No!"

"My name is Darylina and I don't get attached," Merle said mockingly, I glared at him once again. "Don't get attached my ass."

"You could try it ya know?" I snapped. "Care for someone, have something to fight for. It's not life to live all lonely."

"So you admit you care now?" He laughed. "I have something to fight for, my life! Isn't that enough for you? Your pitiful life?"

"It gets to a point where that is not enough anymore. And besides, wouldn't you like someone to care about you as well? To worry about you, to fight for you?"

"If you think like that you won't last much in this shit world. We were alone before this, it's the way we are, it is the way we will always be. You don't have to like it, it's just the way things work."

"But I can change that."

"You don't have the balls to do it," he told me harshly. "And even if you change things, you won't change yourself. Sooner or later everything will go to shit."