Solangelo One-Shots

Panic Attack

Nico isn't sure why. He isn't sure what caused it. All he knows is that he's sitting on the floor of his cabin, his knees drawn up to his chest, his breath coming out in short, shaky gasps. Crying, shaking, hyperventilating. Panic attack.

Suddenly Nico feels a hand on his shoulder and he freezes, holding his breath for a second until it explodes back out in another shuddering sob when he sees who it is. He didn't even hear Will Solace come in, but here he his, crouched beside Nico with concern written all over his face.

Nico instinctively shrugs off Will's hand and buries his head in his knees, not wanting his boyfriend to see him like this. 

"What happened? What's wrong?" Will asks, his voice soft like he was talking to a child.

Usually Nico would be angered by this, would take that tone as condescending. But right now he didn't care. He feels like he is a child. A stupid, selfish child.  At this thought another loud sob escapes him, his breathing even shakier than before. He isn't getting enough oxygen, causing his hands to go numb.

He can't stop shaking and hyperventilating long enough to speak, but he manages to shrug and shake his head, hoping the message gets across: "I don't know."

"Okay. Okay. You need to breathe," Will says. He's sitting next to Nico now, but not too close to him, seeming to respect the fact that he might not want to be touched right now.

Nico shakes his head again, "I can't." His voice is less than a whisper.

"Yes you can." Will says, "Breathe in for five seconds, breathe out for five seconds."

Nico tries, he really does, and he manages to take five seconds breathing in, but his exhale bursts out short and shaky like before. He hates himself for panicking like this. He hates himself for bringing Will into this.

"It's okay. Try again. We'll do it together," Will offers, "Breathe in and breathe out."

So Nico breathes in when Will breathes in and out when Will breathes out. He's still shaky, but he does it. Instantly he feels a bit calmer.

Will makes Nico do this a few more times until the feeling comes back in Nico's hands and he's calmed down enough to actually speak.

"I'm sorry." Nico says.

"There's no need to be sorry." Will says.

"I should've told you to leave. I should've dealt with this myself," Nico insists, "I don't like to dump my problems on other people. It feels like I'm being manipulative."

Will shakes his head, "You're not. You're not 'dumping your problems on me' or being manipulative. And even if you had told me to leave I would've stayed. You needed help whether you wanted it or not and so I helped. That's what I'm here for."

"I don't deserve you." Nico says.

"No, no, no, don't ever say that." Will says. He wraps an arm around Nico's shoulders, pulling him close, and Nico lets him - even though his brain is still screaming at him: YOU DON'T DESERVE IT. YOU DON'T DESERVE IT. YOU DON'T DESERVE IT.

He tells it to shut up. Because maybe he doesn't deserve for someone to care for him like Will does, but that doesn't mean he can't enjoy it while it lasts.

"I love you." Nico whispers after a few minutes of silence.

Will kisses his cheek, "I love you too."

A/N: this was for a prompt I got on Tumblr. I've recently made an account on there called oneshots-by-claire where people give me prompts and I write them! So I might post some from there on here as well!