Torn Apart

Lost Cause

"I don't understand why we we aren't organizing a rescue party," Poe asked Daen as they made their way to the Resistance mess hall.

Daen shook his head, wishing that the young pilot hadn't mentioned it. He'd spent a restless night thinking of Lux's beautiful pained face as she ordered him to leave her. He'd never be able to wipe that memory from his mind if she didn't make it back alive. "We have to wait for the General to give the order."

"And you think she will?"

"Absolutely," Daen said more confident than he felt. "I'm sure General Organa is just planning the best way to accomplish a rescue without affecting the squad."

Logically it made sense, but Poe wanted action. "How can you be so calm about this? I thought she was your friend."

Daen stopped in his tracks and he glared at the shorter man. "She is. She's one of my oldest...and best friends."

"Then damnit man, let's go get here," Poe said excitedly.

"I-I can't," Daen said frustrated remembering General Organa's plan. She hadn't been there long enough to make any connection with Ben. Hell for all the knew, she had been shot and killed and never saw him.

Poe lifted his eyebrow "You can't or you won't."

Daen opened his mouth to speak but he knew he couldn't explain the General's plan so he closed it quickly.

==================

Lux's leg was throbbing so bad that she could barely keep her steps straight as she tried to up with Ben's long stride. He's not Ben, she reminded herself. He's Kylo Ren now.

A point he drove home as his footsteps punished the floor. She couldn't tell if he was angry with her or if his distaste for Hux was the cause of his anger.

She didn't have time to consider it though. Her leg gave out and she fell to the floor with a thud. "Damn," she mumbled under her breath. She hated to show weakness in any circumstance but she especially hated for Ren to see her this way.

She tried to lift herself but the pain was overwhelming and she dropped back the short distance to the ground. She braced herself to try again but before she knew what was happening, Ren lifted her bridal style off of the ground. She automatically placed her arms around his neck.

It was unexpected contact for him and she could feel a wave of surprise run through his lithe frame. She closed her eyes and opened her mind for him to read.

"Thank you, Ben." she said internally. She held her breath waiting for him to drop her for calling him by his real name but he didn't. He merely nodded with his expressionless mask as he continued his long strides.

He kept his feelings as neutral as possible so she could glean nothing from him. What she would give to be able to read minds like he did.

Finally they reached the door to his wing of the base and the airlock door opened quickly. With great care, he placed her on the black leather couch.

"You should not have tried to escape," he said making his way to large windows that overlooked a snow covered valley of trees.

She opened her mouth to protest but she figured it was no use. "I can't talk to you with that mask on," she said trying to buy herself some time.

He ignored her "Hux is dangerous."

"Not anymore dangerous than you," she pointed to the lightsaber holstered on his belt.

"That is certain," he replied "But he doesn't see..."

She shifted herself on the couch to watch his pacing. "See what? How valuable I am to the Resistance?"

"No...how powerful you can be if you were properly trained."

"And is that what you think you're going to do?" she asked.

"No...that is for my master to do."

She shook her head vigorously. "Never."

"Never say never, Lux," the sound of her name from his mechanical voice made her wince.

"Take off your mask," she said in a low voice.

"Why?"

"Because I want to see you...see your face. I can't talk to this blank mask you're wearing."

"Maybe I don't want you to talk to you," he replied but she could feel the hint of doubt in his feelings.

She shook her head "I don't believe that. Why else would you have brought me here?"

"Because you are...you could be...."

"I don't want to be a pretend Sith," she interrupted "Or...a Jedi. I never have....I never...did."

She could feel the smile that played on his lips without seeing it. The boy he'd once been filled her imagination. He tensed at the memory she had let him see.

"I'm not that boy any more," he said quickly.

"You are," she assured him delicately "you've just been blinded by the promise of power."

"You don't know the power...how good it feels."

"Killing innocent people feels good?" she asked almost afraid of the answer.

He seemed to consider his emotions carefully before settling on anger.

"Quit pretending that the Resistance is so innocent," he retorted.

"Quit pretending that this fake Vader facade is who you really are," she shot back.

In two large strides, he was close to her. She held her breath until she heard the hiss of the airlock releasing from his mask. He pulled it off slowly, his dark wavy hair tousled, and then his beautiful face.

Old feelings began to pound against the wall she'd built to hold them in. He read her thoughts easily and she blushed at the hint of smile that appeared on his face.

Before she could think of a distracting comment, he rose and picked up his mask.

"Are you going somewhere?" She asked not anxious for him to leave.

"Why? Will you miss me?" He dared. "Or are you going to plan another daring escape that I'll have to rescue you from?"

She frowned "I didn't need to be rescued. I didn't need you at all.I  had Hux just where i wanted him."

He rolled his eyes and for a second, he was the spitting image of his father, Han Solo. Even his sarcastic tone mimicked his father. "If you mean that he was two minutes from deciding on whether to kill you or take you back to his quarters to make you his love slave, then yes, you had him just where you wanted him"

"I can see turning to the Dark side hasn't improved your attempted quips," she huffed.

He let out a short unexpected laugh. "And I see your joining the Resistance hasn't improved your ability to detect a lost cause when you see it."

And with that, he turned on his heel and exited the room.

Lost cause? she asked herself. Was he talking about the Resistance? Or maybe he was talking about her stupid attempt of getting away?

Or...was he talking about himself?