Loved and Wanted

Has To Be a Nightmare ..

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Okay here is the part you've been waiting for !

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"Okay, well I went to the docters the other day and they told me that ... I have cancer."

My eyes widened at what she had told me, I felt tears spill out of my eyes ... this can't be happening .. I've already lost my dad and I can't afford to lose my mom. I'll be completely and utterly alone, I'll only have Harry. She needs to beat this. She has to beat this.

"Are ... Are you going to .. D-Die?" I sobbed. This is absolutely to much for me. To much stress, to much pain, to much tears. I just can't do it anymore. My mom took me in a tight hug, It felt comforting. It helped me calm down a bit, but I was terrified to hear her answer.

"I'm so sorry honey, I know you've lost you're father and you're afraid to lose me, but there's nothing I can do about this ... I am going to die .. in about 3 weeks ..." my heart stopped, it literally stopped. This has to be a nightmare, she can't leave me! Were will I go? I love her so much, and now my life is officialy the worst.

"M-Mom! You can't go! p-please ... don't leave me ... I can't do this alone .." i paused "Where will I go? I can't be here alone ... I just can't .." she hugged me tighter, I sobbed into her neck like never before. I hate my life.

"What about Harry? You could live with him." I couldn't just be like 'Hey my mom id dying, I'm gonna live with you' , what was I gonna say to him? I'll end up crying in front of him again. I can't ask him, he'll think I'm pathetic .. I can't stand anymore rejection ..

"Mom I can't just ask to live with him ... its not that easy .." I cried more. "I know honey, but you're gonna have to." she rubbed my back to comfort me. "I know .."

..............

We stayed like that for a whole hour until she spoke up, "Nicole, you should get to bed, Its getting late." I nodded and got up and hugged her, "Okay, night mom love you." I gave her another tight hug and a kiss on the cheek. "Love you too."

I slowly dragged myself upstairs to my bedroom, then I prepared myself for bed. Once I was finished I jumped in bed and snuggled in the duvet. Millions of thoughts running through my head like, 'how was I gonna tell Harry? What will he say? What if he says no? '

I finally fell asleep after thinking for hours.

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I was woken up by the sunshine peeking through my curtains. I wasn't woken up by my alarm clock ... that's strang? I sware I set it. I sat up and rubbed my eyes, I stared at my clock and it was 12:47pm ! What?! I'm late!

I sprang to my feet and rushed to the bathroom, nearly tripping on my own feet. I stared at my reflection and I was a mess. My mascara was smeared from crying last night and my hair was a complete wreck. I'm not going to have enough time to get ready, why me?

I quickly ran down stairs as fast as my feet would carry me. I ran to the kitchen to find my mom cooking pancakes, why didn't she wake me up? "Mom! Its nearly 1:00 and you didn't wake me up! I'm gonna be late!" i panicked, running my fingers through a mess called my hair. Harry must be wondering why I'm not at school, Oh my god! Harry! He must have been waiting for ever for me!

"Honey, calm down!" she laughed. "I turned you're alarm clock off so you could sleep. I decided to let you stay home today, because of everything that has happened." i sighed in relief, but what about Harry?,

"What about Harry? Did he stop by to get me?"

"Yes, I told him you weren't feeling well. He wanted to go up and see you but I told him to let you be." oh no.

"Mom! I'm not sick! .. now he's going to want to know what was wrong with me! .." i panicked again.

"Just tell him you had a stomach ache." she said, flopping the pancakes on a plate.

"Okay. I just don't like lying to him ..."

"I know .. but I wanted you to tell him the news face to face .. don't forget to ask him, you have 3 weeks." my heart ached at the thought of only having three more weeks with her. "I know .. please don't remind me .." i felt tears brimming in my eyes, but I just blinked them away. I don't want to cry anymore.

"So what do you want to do today?" my mother said, changing the subject. I actually had no idea what to do. I finished chewing then answered,

"I could go to the gym today with you?" I really needed the exercise, I was starting to get chubby.

"Okay, that's a great idea!" she nodded, and clapped her hands together. "We'll leave in an hour, so be ready." i nodded, and placed my plate in the sink. I jogged upstairs and closed my door behind me. I picked up my phone and texted Harry,

to : Harrrry (; -

Hey, sorry I couldn't be at school today. I didn't feel well :(

I hate lying to Harry, but I had no choice, my mom had already told him I didn't feel well. Seconds later my phone buzzed, it was a message from Harry,

from : Harrrry (; | 12:59pm -

Do you feel okay? Do I need to get you something? I can come over if you want me to. xx

I swear he can be so kind at times.

to : Harrrry (; -

I'm fine, but thanks anyways. My stomach just hurts a little. and aren't you in school?

He said 'he can come over if i want' does that mean he didn't go because I didn't? I don't want him missing school because of me. My phone buzzed seconds later,

from : Harrrry (; | 1:04pm -

No, I didn't want to go without you

:( xx

to : Harrrry (; -

That's sweet, but I don't want you to miss school because of me . xx

from : Harrrry (; | 1:06pm -

Its fine, babe. Its just one day xx

to : Harrrry (; -

Okay. I got to go, talk to you later <3 xx

I set my phone down and walked to my bathroom to get ready. I straightend my hair and put it up into a high pony tail, then I put on my black exercise leggings and a white tank top. I didn't bother to do my makeup, because i would be sweating anyways.

I jogged down the stairs and to the living room to see my mom on her computer waiting for me.

"hey, I'm ready."

"Okay, lets go."

She got up from her seat and we headed out the door to the gym.

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