After Forever Is Over

Chapter 1 - The Aftermath

Shannon stares at her gadgets in disgust. It feels like they're mocking her, just by holding the remnants of what she had with her girlfriend, Cammie. Ex-girlfriend, she corrects herself bitterly. It is hard as hell, adjusting to her new single life. Somehow it makes her feels incomplete, being so used to having someone beside her unconditionally. Maybe it wasn't so unconditional after all. Just for a few weeks ago, everything seemed like it could go for forever. That Cammie and she was invincible, untouchable by this thing called reality. Why wouldn't they thought so? They had beaten the cruelest part of a relationship. Miles and miles away from each other and they'd still came out together, just stronger in the end. Now the real end is here and nothing feels the same again. The pain is staying inside her heart, unlike the girl who's already gone for good.

"It's over," Shannon says over and over again to herself. "What happened to forever?"

Apparently forever was just a promise, the one which they just couldn't keep. No matter how hard they have tried to keep their ship from sinking. 'I love you' is just not enough anymore and 'I'm sorry' just barely has any effect on their relationship. They are just words, that has been used and tossed until it just echoed aimlessly in an empty room. Three and a half years together. Such a long time to give up her heart to another person in a complete trust, only to find it being returned to her in the end. The worst part is that she didn't give it back completely. A small part of it will always be hers and hers only. Until another person comes along and put back the missing piece. Until another beginning marks a new life. A life without her. Without Cammie.

Shannon shakes out of her haze and pulls herself back into the present. She knows that there is no use of going back repeatedly into the past. Now she has to deal with the leftovers of a failed relationship. Should she deletes their memories together in her social media? What would happen to her YouTube channel? What would happen to their business together? Ultimately, where should she stay after she broke up with Cammie? She is so not down with the idea of living together with her ex. It would just be too painful to bear. Even there are some things that a human couldn't adapt to, as versatile as it is.

Shannon opens her instagram account and looks at her photos. She taps on the last picture of her and Cammie together. We looked so happy. She shakes her head to banish the longing away and taps on the picture once. With another tap, she is looking at Cammie's account. Together or not, she can't deny how beautiful she is. Her thumb hovers above the following button. Shannon takes a deep breath and gathers her courage. Remove myself from the source of pain. Another tap. She will be no longer see Cammie on her feeds.

"Goodbye, Cam."

***

Is it called lying if she tries her best to look happy in her social medias? You know what people say, Cammie thinks to herself, fake it until you make it. If faking is what it takes to relieve her from this pain, then faking is what she will do for God knows how long. Going to Arizona when things are falling apart is probably the best choice that she's ever made. At least, she doesn't have to see Shannon actually walks away from her life. The life that is used to be theirs. Now it's just hers.

Just a couple of hours ago, she tweeted that she and Shannon are no longer together. From one went back into two. In just a matter of hours, her followers have gone insane about it. They can't believe it, they said.

"Well, neither can I," Cammie says as she scrolls down to other comments.

She knows that she's torturing herself by reading their reaction over their break up news, but she just can't help it. She remembers the time when Ally and her previous girlfriend, Torrey broke up. God, it was such a mess. This time, it's even a bigger mess. She thinks about how crushed Ally was about the separation, going on and on about how she really believed that Torrey was it. Her one off. It helped when Ally went on to be Stevie's girlfriend, whom the Internet considered to be a better match for Ally than Torrey was. But she can't really believe that this would be the case for her. Shannon is... was the girl of her dreams. Look how it has shattered into pieces now. Her gorgeous, sweet and caring girlfriend is now no longer hers to claim, to love. With whom she had felt the happiest. The woman that she had build her life around for three and a half years. How could she even top that feeling with someone else?

Among the mass of supportive and encouraging comments, there is one resurfacing type of comments that really ticks her off. It goes with something like this, "God, is this another prank? Please tell me that it is!!"

"Well, I'm telling you now, guys!" Cammie can't help but raising her voice at her phone. "It is really and it so fucking hurts! God, I wish I could tell you that it is just a prank."

After her last outburst, her resolve finally crumbles and Cammie breaks down into tears. "But it isn't, " she whispers between her sobs. "It's over. It's over."