After Forever Is Over

Chapter 5 - Jealous or Crazy

Sometimes a rain is just a rain, just another break from days of sunshine. Sometimes a rain turns out to be a beginning of a storm. Whatever it is, it never hurt to prepare yourself for the worst.

Cammie's instinct is rarely wrong. The nagging feeling in the back of her mind. The churning sensation inside of her stomach. Her instinct tells her that something bad is going to happen. It's either that or PMS anyway. The night after they had a fight, Shannon acted strange. She was jumpy and being overly affectionate toward her. Not that she minded actually. The affections was very welcomed. The reason behind it was the one that Cammie's afraid of. That kind of passion usually comes from guilt. Shannon was never home nowadays, so it must because of what she has done out there.

Cammie searches through her girlfriend's social media accounts religiously. She tries to find something that's out of place, a sign or whatever. She knows that Shannon rarely uses her Twitter or Tumblr when she's busy. Snapchat is her current favorite social media. It's also a great outlet to promote her new short film. In between her activities, Cammie checks her phone regulary. She isn't sure whether she's over analyzing things or what. She hates to doing this, acting like a jealous girlfriend. Jealous or crazy. There's not much differences between them anyway. The way Shannon has been dodging her questions about her filmings and castmates is a good enough reason to be worried about. And that girl. Cammie doesn't like like the way that girl looks at her girlfriend and put her arms on her. Especially in those promotional shots on the film's official instagram account.

When she's scrolling its instagram profile, one photo catches her attention. It's a collage of three shots, picturing Shannon and Ella looks at each other. Cammie doesn't know if those pictures are a part of the scene or a behind-the-scene shot. If it's just acting, Shannon must be one hell of an actress to be able to pull off the kind of look that she gave Ella. She knows that look from miles away. She's seen that so many times before. That kind of look which usually spread warmth into her whole being, now is giving her so much pain. There's no use in lying to herself, ignoring the apparent attraction in the way Shannon looked at that girl. The shy, cute smile on her face, combined with the adoring look on her eyes. There's something between them, more than just friends or coworkers. Cammie feels like a fool. It feels like a thousand knifes just stabbed her heart.

"Oh, my God. She's cheating on me with that girl."

Cammie drags her thumb to see the other pictures. She feels stupid for keep torturing herself with this. But she has to know. She doesn't want to be that dumb girlfriend, who is sitting patiently waiting for her cheating lover. She's better than that. She has to be. One photo finally gives the final punch onto her guts and shatters her trust completely. Shannon is kissing that girl. On the mouth. Passionately. She doesn't care if it's just a part of the film or whatever. She's done with it. She's done being stupid and lied to.

*

Shannon is both nervous and excited for her last day of shooting. Nervous because of what they have to shoot later. The big yet nerve wracking kissing scene and the heartfelt love declaration after that. They have rehearsed it before, for many times actually. Not the kissing part. They have decided to better leave that part for the actual shooting and rehearsed the staging and blocking only. It felt so wrong to say 'I love you' to another woman other than Cam. The fact that Shannon actually felt some kind of attraction to Ella only makes it worse. She doesn't even want to think how she would feel when she has to kiss Ella. Or what would come next. That isn't going to help her with anything.

"Okay, girls. We're ready to shoot the last one. You guys ready?" Their cameraman looks up from the equipment to them.

The scene takes place in her character's room. They are sitting on the edge of her bed, too close for her own good. Ella's character just admitted her feelings to Shannon's in the previous shot. The next scene is where Jessie, Shannon's character, reacts to that by pulling Ella's head passionately toward her then kisses her with all that she's got. Having the crews watching them the whole scene brings it to a whole new level of awkwardness. Shannon isn't really ready for this, probably never. So she just nods nervously.