After Forever Is Over

Chapter 8 - Half of Us

How do you take back half of your life? Half of your heart?

Cammie is tired of crying, wishing that everything would turned out differently. It's over and there's nothing that she could do to make this any easier. Three and a half years went into drain. Now she has to start over again. No more crying. She decides that this is the perfect time to focus on herself. Discovering her true identity once again. The version of her before Shannon, without her love of her life. Love is a game for two. Half of this failed relationship is her fault too. She won't let this pain and hurt happened for nothing. She will get out of this stronger and wiser. No regrets. This is clearly a mistake and mistake is only good for one thing. A lesson learned.

She wakes up, missing her in her arms. She misses her yucky morning kisses. She even missed her stupid jokes and silly dance moves. Her touch and the tingles that were trailing behind them. Her cute smile and deep blue eyes. She let the tears fall for the girl she once loved. She loves still. Even though she's ripping her soul apart.

Am I a fool for keep loving you still?

*

"You have lost the sparks in your eyes," Shannon says inwardly, rubbing her thumb gently against the picture of Cammie on her screen. "Is that only reserved for me? Is there still anything left for us in your heart, Cam?

Canada is cold. Bone deep cold. About the same temperature as her heart is. Vanessa, Steve and the others are trying their best to cheer her up. It's rude to not smile at least a little. Yet it's just a make up, polishing the ugly truth beneath the happy facade.

I miss her.

She breaths and it hurts. She wakes up and it still hurts. Her heart won't stop hurting for her. It wants Cammie back. Once she slipped and everything turned to black. Cammie has drained away all the colors from her life when she walked away.

I love you.

She didn't stop her and not a single day has passed without her regretting it. She should have just went down on her knees. Begging. Grasping the love of her life with all that she's got. What's the use of pride when she's left with nothing but this agonizing pain? The love and pain haven't stopped, even when their relationship did.

Come back to me, babe. Please.

Like a coward, she ran to Canada. Leaving a trail of mess behind her. It hurt too much being in her home without her. Inhaling the lingering scent of hers. Wishing that she's still there. Everything feels wrong when she's not here. Sometimes she stares at the clock, wanting to turn back time. Kissing her even just for the last time.

I am lost without you, Cam.