After Forever Is Over

Chapter 9 - Tough Love

Shannon is almost proud of herself for the extent of denial which she's capable of. Three weeks after the break up and she has learned to live with the pain. The constant throbbing in her chest hasn't subsided yet, not even a little. Life wouldn't wait for all of her tears to dry. All that she could do was straightened her back and moved on. She put on a smile and acted like she meant it. It was the most appropriate thing to do, since she couldn't stand the sympathetic looks from her friends. Apparently it is possible to live in a lie.

When Rose and Rosie told her that they would come to L.A. in June, Shannon was elated. She misssed her bestfriends and really needed them in this difficult time. She has skyped with Rose for several times after the break up, but it wasn't the same as talking face to face with her best bud. When they finally arrived in L.A., Shannon and Rose planned for a drink the next day. Shannon had a mixed feelings about the meeting, not really ecstatic on the prospect of being the third wheel for her very-much-in-love friends. Now without Cammie within the picture, she's the odd one out. Single and still very much heartbroken.

Shannon is already nursing her beer when Rose steps into the bar. Shannon waves her hand above her head to catch Rose's attention. She expects that Rosie will show up behind her, but the door closes after Rose steps in. Shannon lifts a questioning eyebrow at Rose, while she's looking at her walking toward her.

"Hey, Shan!" Rose engulfs her into a bear hug, patting her back reassuringly.

"Hey yourself. Where's Rosie?" Shannon asks as she settles back into her own seat.

"She's attending to another matter in the moment," Rose answers vaguely. "I think it's better this way. So we can talk."

"Oh, boy." Shannon takes a long sip, already dreading the emotionally exhausting talk.

She plays with her napkin while Rose orders another beer for her. She doesn't dare to look straight at Rose, avoiding the talk as long as she can. A moment later, the waiter comes with Rose's drink and she knows that she has to face the inevitable at some point. Rose clears her throat, demanding Shannon's attention.

"Now you already completely shredded that napkin into bits, maybe you should start talking."

"What's there to talk? You already know everything. Nothing has changed, Rose." Shannon shrugs the question off, darting her eyes away from Rose's questioning ones.

"What the heck are you doing, Shan?" Rose's tone is calm enough, unlike the words she just said.

"Can you be more specific about it? Because everything in my life is an absolute mess nowadays, so it's hard to tell the one that you're talking about."

"Of course, I'm talking about Cammie." Rose rolls her eyes, unimpressed at her friend's sarcastic remark.

"I messed up and it's over. End of the story."

"No," Rose snaps. "You messed up and you chickened out. You gave yourself an early end. Not Cam. You."

"Fuck, Rose!" Shannon is mad now. She knows that she's a coward, but Rose shouldn't be that cruel about it. "What do you want from me? It's clear enough that Cammie doesn't want anything to do with me anymore! She's avoiding me, ignoring my calls and texts. It's over, okay? Stop making this to happen, because it won't."

"Listen, Shannon. I'm going to tell you something important. But in order to do that, I need you to stop acting like a child. Complaining wouldn't get you anywhere near Cammie. Now, I need you to really listen. Can you do that?"

As much as her words hurt, Shannon knows that Rose is right. She only nods, allowing her friend to talk.

"As your friend, I have to ask you this," Rose says in a serious tone. "What does your heart really want?"