After Forever Is Over

Chapter 4 - The Broken Promises

Cammie cannot pinpoint the exact moment where everything's starting to fall apart. Where the seed of resentments began to put its roots into their relationship. The moment when 'sorry' has started to lose its meaning. Maybe it started with the small things and the snowball effect turned it into an avalanche. Who knows? One day, they just were too busy for each other. Too tired to have a fight, they were willing to leave an argument unsolved, which one day would came back to haunt them. They promised to never go to sleep angry. To never put anything else but love into their bed. It was forgotten too, much like everything else that they have built together.

"Babe, I don't think I can make it for our date tonight," Shannon texted her on her first day of shooting.

They have made a plan to celebrate it. She had made the reservation at Shannon's favorite restaurant. She took time to look good for her, knowing how important this job was to her girlfriend. Shannon cancelled it just a mere hour away from their promised time. She was ready, waiting for her to come home. She wanted to know everything about it. How did it go? Were the crew awesome and nice to her? Was it awkward to pretend to like another girl beside me? Apparently her questions had to wait.

"Is everything okay, babe?" Was her reply.

"Yeah. Have to go through tomorrow's script with the girls. I'm sorry, babe."

Cammie stared at her phone for a long time, not really sure what to do next. She didn't want to change again, not after she had already put so much effort into it. Awfully disappointed and pissed, she called her friends. A girl's night out then.

*

When Cammie got home, Shannon was already in bed. She changed into her pajamas and climbed into Shannon's side. Her face looked so tired, Cammie wanted to kiss away the worried lines pn her sleeping face. As she leaned closer, she caught Shannon's scent. It was a mix of alcohol, smoke and perfume. The after effect of a night long drink at a bar. She stopped midway and felt the uneasy feeling to grom stronger. It firmly settled on the bottom of her stomach, gnawing at her bit by bit.

Feeling the shifted weight on the bed, Shannon stirred in her sleep. Her eyes fluttered open, directly looking at Cammie's frowned face. It wasn't exactly a welcomed face after a long day. Cammie was still hovering above her, with a disbelieving look lingering in her eyes.

"Hey, babe," she said, rubbing her eyes. Her voice was hoarse from the disturbed sleep and laughing all night with Ella. "What's wrong?"

"Didn't you say that you had to discuss the script tonight?" Cammie's voice was cold and flat. Like her answer didn't really matter since she already knew the answer anyway. Shannon didn't appreciate the implied accusation.

"Yeah. We talked about it until midnight."

"Then why do you reek of alcohol and smoke?" Cammie couldn't hide the hurt in her voice. It trembled, partly from her fear of the truth.

"Because we did it at a bar near the set." Shannon slammed her head back onto the bed, glaring at the ceiling. Shannon didn't get why Cammie had to interrogate her in the middle of the night.

"We?" Suddenly Cammie felt a cold shiver climbing up into her heart, gripping and twisting inside of her.

"Yeah. Ella and I." Shannon closed her eyes again, wishing the conversation's over already. "The others couldn't make it."

"I see."

Cammie remembered the girl. A beautiful brunette, who seemed extra touchy with her girlfriend in the set photos. The same one who played her on-screen girlfriend. This didn't look good at all. Her instinct sent a warning signal in her head, which she desperately tried to mute.

"Look, babe. I'm really tired and I really need to sleep for tomorrow. Can we just have this conversation later?"

"Yeah. Sure. Whatever." Cammie dropped onto the other side of the bed and rolled away from Shannon.

"I don't know why are you so mad at me. I didn't do anything wrong, okay?" Shannon muttered, more to herself than Cammie. She wouldn't apologize to Cammie for this. For just chasing her dreams.

*

They didn't talk about it the next day. Or the day after that. Shannon knew that it's important to address the issue, but her tight shooting schedule has forced her to come home late at night. Usually Cammie was still out or already asleep when she got back. Either way, they were both too tired to fight about anything. The semi cold shoulder treatment from Cammie hurt her. In her big moment, Shannon needed Cammie the most. She needed her to understand, to tell her that everything's going to be okay. Shannon longed for Cammie to keep holding her at night, with all that she has got. Minus all of the buried anger. She just wanted to feel her kisses again, feeling at home in Cammie's embrace.

Why couldn't she see that?

*

The second day of shooting and Shannon was still upset about her last fight with Cammie. They didn't talk much in the morning, sharing their morning kiss like it was an obligation. The tension was thick in the air. For the first time in their relationship, Shannon couldn't wait to get out of the door, away from the love of her life. It could wait, while the project couldn't.

"You seem pretty quiet today, Shan." Ella touched her arm gently, pulling Shannon out of the turmoil of her inner thoughts. "Is everything okay?"

The concerned look and her soft voice melted Shannon a little. This was exactly what she wanted from Cam. Care and support. The fact that it was coming from other girl than Cam didn't escape her.

"I had a fight with my girlfriend last night. Because I cancelled our date for our meeting." She gave Ella a forced smile.

"Ah, I see." Ella smiled sympathetically, her gaze softened. "Well, if you want to cancel tonight's meeting to sort things out with your girlfriend, I completely understand."

"Nah," Shannon just shrugged. "It's okay. It can wait. We still have a lot to be discussed for tomorrow. But maybe I have to bail early tonight. Don't want to make her angry again."

""Well, if you say so." Then Ella leaned in closer to Shannon. Her eyes twinkled suggestively. "Come on, brighten up a little. We are supposed to be madly in love, you know?"

They ended up joking around on the bed, waiting for the crews to set the technical things before they began shooting. It was so easy, forgetting about her fight with Cam when she was with Ella. Her abundant energy and wicked sense of humor could alwayd make Shannon laughed. They playfully flirted with each other, getting into their character as they waited. Midway shooting, whenever Ella innocently touched her, Shannon felt something else. Her skin tingled against Ella's touch, lingering as it passed by. She was afraid that in her moment of weakness, maybe she had slipped and felt something more for her castmate. It felt so wrong, playing fire behind her girlfriend's back. Yet the excitements from the forbidden interactions beat the surfacing guilt.

Shannon got home early that night, keeping her promise to herself. Mostly because of the guilt that was growing stronger the further she stepped over the line. The flirtatious tone of her interactions with Ella was still there when they went out to the bar with the others. They sat close together, their shoulders brushed innocently from time to time. It sparked a fire deep within her, a different one than she had with Cam. It was more dangerous, the unattended sparks. As soon as she walked into her apartment, Shannon rushed to Cammie. She kissed her with vigor, like she could removed the guilt away with the kiss. Cammie was surprised, but obliviously happy about it.

"I love you, babe." Shannon leaned in and whispered it close to her ears. "I missed you."

"I love you too, Shan. I'm sorry for last night." Cammie pressed her face close to Shannon's neck, missing her embrace. "I'll try to be more understanding about this."

"I'm sorry too, babe." Shannon ignored the lump in her throat. She was sorry for many things, but their last fight wasn't the worst of it.