the instructor ; m.espinosa

; thirteen

kayana's pov

i woke up around two a.m., i look down to see matt's arms around me and up to see matt snoring.

i wiggled out of him arms lightly and quietly, so he wouldn't wake up. when i stood up, my phone fell out of my sweats. ugh

i bent down to pick it up and turned it on to see i had a message and missed call from ky.

i tried calling her but the line was dead. it didn't even ring. maybe her phones just dead? i looked at message and it was really long one.

kayana, my best friend, i'm sorry. um, i lied to j and told him i was going to see you guys, i didn't obviously, i actually left, like for good. i can't take it anymore. any of this. i'm so scared. there's these voices in my head telling me to just do it. get it over with and do it. leave. they're taking over kay. i'm sorry, for letting you down, i really am. i love you kay, so much, goodbye.

what the actual fuck did i just read. i pinched myself to make sure this wasn't a dream. i can't even believe what i just read.

maybe i can change her mind. i don't know. maybe she didn't do it yet, yes have hope, faith, anything i was telling myself.

i grabbed someone's hoodie off the couch and ran, just ran. i called her and called her and called her. she finally picked up.

"ky, where the fuck are you?" i asked her, still running, looking left to right. she didn't answer me.

"kylie!" i screamed into the phone.

"it doesn't matter! quit trying to act like my fucking mom!" she screamed back.

"i'm not trying to act like your mom, ky i'm worried, scared, just tell me where you are!" i screamed.

"don't do this, you're my fucking best friend i care about you!" i said, quieting down, tears now streaming down my face.

i heard her sniffling through the phone."ky, please talk to me, say something, where are you?" i said, crossing another random street.

"i'm at this motel, by the airport." she said softly. "stay there, i'm coming to get you. what room number?" "105"

i could see the motel from where i was standing. i ran to it and found her room. knocking on the door repeatidly.

she opened the door and looked at the ground. she was crying. she always looks down when she cries.

i just hugged her, hugged the shit out of her.

"i'm scared. i-i don't know what i was thinking. i'm so fucking dumb kay, I'm carrying another fucking human being, and it's not just any, it's my child." she cried.

"ky, sh, sh, it's okay."

"no, no it's not okay, i can't get them out of my head. they just won't stop. i can't think straight." she was crying even harder.

"let's just go back." i said while pulling her out of the door. "here, i'll call one of the guys to come get us." i said while tapping on johnson's contact.

"hello?" johnson said. "i have ky, come get us. we're at the motel. it's a couple blocks down."

"i'm on my way!" he said while hanging up the phone.

"look ky, you just need some rest, i'll explain it to everyone. you just need to clear your mind. relax. and go to sleep." i told her.

she nodded her head and looked back at the street to see johnson in the rental car.

"baby, baby, baby, you're okay. i was so scared. i love you so much!" johnson yelled while jumping out of the running up to ky.

she explained everything to johnson and they had their little moment of crying while i jumped into the rental.

•

"damn." sammy said after i finished explaining what happened with ky.

"what are we going to do with her?" johnson asked while looking at me. I gave him a weird look.

"no, no i didn't mean it like that i mean, we can't just trust her to be by herself, she needs some type of help!" he said correcting his choice of words.

"should we get her like a counselor or something?" i asked while getting a bag of chips.

"um, i don't know if that's the best idea yet, let's just see how she acts now, if she still has those voices and shit inside her head then we should." johnson said while grabbing the bag and a handful of chips out of my bag.

"i think we get her one now, so it doesn't continue, or happen again for that matter." i said while snatching the bag back from him

"i think she should go with her boyfriend's idea, doesn't her boyfriend know best, won't i be the one grieving and taking care of her, oh and OUR child that SHE'S carrying?" he said while yelling and taking the bag back.

"i'm literally laughing my ass off, listen here buddy, i've known her way longer than you, i fucking care for her, she is MY best friend, i know so much more about her than you do, but that's not the point, how do you think you can make decisions for her?" i snapped at him, still mad that he took my chips too.

"you guys think you can make decisions for me, i can make them on my own!" ky screamed at us as she walked down the steps.

"oh yeah, you should be able to make your own decision yet, the decision you made last time is the reason we even have to talk about this!" johnson screamed back, walking closer to her.

oh no the hell he did not. "don't talk to her like that, don't ever raise your fucking voice like that at her, ever." i yelled pushing johnson backward.

"wow, slow your roll there tiger." i heard matt giggle behind me. he's such a child, even in serious situations.

i whipped my head back and looked at him. "no i won't fucking 'slow my roll'!" i said now yelling at matt.

"calm down kay, you need some sleep." matt said while walking up to me and putting his hand on my shoulder. "get off of me!" i shrugged his hand on my shoulder.

"okay, you can make your own decisions she's right, we just have to watch out for you, that's all." i said walking towards her and hugging her, "goodnight."

"i'm going to sleep, goodnight everyone." i said, waving my hand backwards while walking up the steps.  "walk up the stairs fatass." i yelled at matt, he was taking ages to walk up one step.

he chuckled and i pushed him aside, to walk in front of him. i plopped down on the bed and pulled the covers over me.

"why are you out of breath?" i asked matt once he finally made it to the bedroom.

"i-" he huffed. "had to walk" he huffed again, "up all those stairs." he plopped onto the bed. i laughed at him, turned over and went to sleep.

i'm sorry for the slow update and bad chapter :(, i keep saying it will get better and it doesn't and i'm sorry for that. and this chapter is really short ugh.

anyways trying to update soon!

-xox lex