Steps We Take.❀

Nothing left to say. [8 ½]

I sit across the hospital wearily, exhausted from everything that is going on. I stil haven't processed it all through my brain, but I know what's happening. Right now, I am awaiting to see what they both did to each other. Three gunshots went off, me not knowing a clue where they all went. The paramedics didn't say a thing,  not wanting me to worry. If they didn't want me to worry they should've just told me instead of leaving it a mystery.

I stayed at the hospital for two hours until a blonde blue eyed nurse let me see both of them. I prepared myself for the worst, knowing that the fight wasn't so soft. As soon as I walked in, my eyes formed the tears of the pain of the disaster. Tears streamed down my cheeks. Like rain in the winter, my cheeks poured the truth. 

"He'll be heading into surgery real soon. He's knocked out for now."

I walk over to Logan, laying my hand on his gently. He looked so peaceful sleeping, his mouth quirked upwards, almost like he's smiling. He truly saved me. He saved me from everything, especially the monster of Kendall. I notice Logan's shoulder first when I walked in, it being a piercing shade of blood red. I had to get out of there, I couldn't take in anymore. I felt aweful.

"I love you, Logan," I whispered softly before heading out of the door.

The same nurse shows me the way to Kendall's room. It was on a different floor from Logan's, so  I had a bit of time to think about what I was going to say to Kendall. I had to definitely pace myself for this one, because of course I still loved him. I will always love him, he effected my life in so many ways. The good and bad.

The nurse knocks lightly on the carmel door, waiting a minute until heading in. He was propped up against three pillows, sleeping. He seemed perfectly fine to me.

"Hi, Kendall," I say barely getting it out. The nurse shakes her head dissapointedly.

"Sweetheart, he's in a coma. According to this," she says pointing to her clipboard. "He was slammed pretty hard on the floor during the fight."

That sentence made my knees go weak and my voice disapear. A coma? Logan actually did this to Kendall? I want to scream, scream so loud that everyone will go deaf. I want to go home. I don't want to be here at all anymore, there's just too much pain for today. I'm not ready for it. I say goodbye to all the nurses, as I retrieve the keys and head to James' house. I wanted to stay by myself, but both Carlos and James wouldn't let me. It's not like I was on suicide watch, so why can't I just be by myself for awhile? Or what if I was? Why do I deserve to live, exactly? I caused this to all happen, if I would've just accepted Kendall's apology none of this would've ever been going on. Logan should've never protected me, I should've been able to defend for myself. 

"Hey!" James greets me at the front door. "How's the both of them? What's their standards?"

"Logan-Logan was shot in the shoulder. He's probably in surgery about now," I sniffle.

"And Kendall?"

"He's in a," I speak before saying the harsh words that I was told earlier. "He's in a coma, James!"

I fling into his arms upsettingly, making him stumble back a bit. He quickly wraps his arms around me securely, stroking my hair comfortably. I just can't stop crying, why would God pick me to go through this? I plop down on his couch, getting caught up in over thinking again. I quickly get zapped out of my thoughts when my ring tone bursts throughout the house, I look at the caller ID questionably. It read: 'hospital'.

I quickly gather my things and head off to the hospital. Logan's awake and doing great for a guy who just had surgery, quoted by the same nurse that helped me earlier. I run up to his room excitedly, butterflies swarming around in my stomach. I can't wait to talk to him, and most importantly to thank him.

"Logan!" I say, almost tripping over my own feet. "Are you okay? I can't believe you took an actual bullet for me! I can't even express how much-"

"Shh," he laughs. "It wasn't that big of a deal."

"Big of a-not a big deal? You literally had a bullet, from a gun, in your shoulder. For me. I'll let that process for a second," I tell him, not at all believing what he's saying.

"Oh come on, for you I'd do anything," he says adorably, 

I could feel my cheeks turning redder by the second. He was probably just lying, but to hear that come from him felt.. I don't know, special.

"I'm sorry, Logan. I really didn't mean for it to go like this," I decide to say looking at the ground, squeaking my shoes on the floor.

"Stop being sorry! I stuck up for you! I should be apologizing to you. Kendall's just-"

"Kendall's in a coma.." I say before he could finish his sentence. I didn't want him to say anything he didn't mean.

"W-what?" he asks uneasily, like everything had just drained from him.  I nod sadly. He takes a minute, you could tell he was on the bridge of tears. I sighed and took a seat next to him.

"You know, he'll probably forget about all this? Like this never even happened?" he tells me unhappily.

"Yeah, probably. Knowing Kendall and all," I agree.

"Well, would you ever take him back?" Logan asks, fearing the answer that's yet to come. He bites his bottom lip, tugging at it every few seconds.

"Logan, I-"