Until I Find You Again // Book One

Chapter 7

I hated being away from Lucy. Hated it. So much so that I actually contemplated Harry's offer of moving in with him a few times. His house was huge. We could definitely make it work. Even though we hadn't discussed anything about our relationship ever in the history of our relationship. I sighed and dropped my head, letting out a tiny growl of frustration.

This was getting ridiculous. He was all I thought about. Even when I made a concerted effort not to think about him, he'd pop into my head. Even when I wasn't thinking about anything, there he was. I thought about weird things like if he made his bed in the morning. Did he like to watch CSI type shows or primetime dramas? Was he concerned about global warming?

I knew nothing about this man. And yet I knew everything I needed to know. I knew he was kind and considerate to every person he came in contact with regardless of how they treated him first. I knew he tried his best to make people happy, sometimes sacrificing his own happiness in the process. I knew he was gentle. I knew he was unassuming, self-aware, humble, sweet and most of all I knew he was 100% in love with his little girl. He doted on her in ways I never would have expected. His entire world now revolved around her.

I also knew that he'd never treated me with anything more than total respect even though I kept his daughter a secret from him for 4 years and hadn't always been the nicest to him in the past.

Figuring this out was doing my head in. Was I getting a crush? It sure felt like it was a lot more than a crush. I found it hard to look at him directly in the eyes, something I never had an issue with before. I had developed a weird proclivity for stumbling over my sentences now. And the worst part was I caught myself daydreaming about what it would feel like to touch him or have him touch me.

I mean, I knew what those things were like. We had that history together. But it was 4 years ago. A long 4 years ago. He'd changed, I'd changed. I wanted to know if that had also changed. I was actually so curious it kept me up at night. Some days I could swear I felt his hands on me. Those were the hardest, because realizing I didn't feel that at all was a serious blow to my ego.

Yeah, this was definitely getting bad. I really needed to get laid.

I heard my phone ring and I tried to remember where I'd put it. I traced the sound to my purse, grabbing it just before it was sent to voicemail,

"Hello?"

"Em? It's me." I heard Harry's voice and felt my heart drop into my feet. I knew he couldn't possibly know I'd been thinking about him, but even so it freaked me out. It took me a minute to realize he sounded kind of out of breath and freaked out.

"What's up? You sound upset."

"Lucy...something....I don't...."

I panicked. Every thought I'd been having instantly flew out of my head. All I could think about was my daughter,

"What? What's wrong?" I asked urgently.

"She's burning up. She's thrown up a few times....I thought I could-"

I grabbed my purse and keys,

"Put her in a lukewarm bath now...I'll be there as soon as I can." I interrupted before he could finish. I'd had to deal with Lucy being feverish before but he hadn't. I could imagine he was close to a level ten freak out at the moment. I hopped into my car and threw it in reverse, hoping there wasn't a lot of traffic so I could get there quickly.

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I hadn't used the key I had to Harry's house since I'd told him about Lucy. Where I never thought twice about walking into his house or his bedroom without his permission before, it felt like I was crossing a line now.