Until I Find You Again // Book One

Chapter 17

I sat on our bed, staring at the computer screen in front of me while I watched tweets load. Tweets calling me every name in the book. Thousands of tweets. Thousands of pictures manipulated to show my face. So many comments, all expressing their distaste for what I'd done to Harry. I'd turned him into a liar. Someone they didn't know anymore. Someone they didn't trust anymore. He didn't lie before I came into the picture. And it didn't matter that he'd done it to protect his daughter. They saw right through it. He'd lied to protect me. So that people didn't know the heinous, disgusting thing I'd done by keeping his child from him for 4 years.

And the worst part about it was that they were right. I could not defend myself. I could try to explain, but how does one explain this type of thing? I had been selfish. I had lied. I had done everything they were accusing me of doing. I probably had even turned Harry into a liar.

I cleared my throat and sat back against the puffy headboard behind me. Realizing you are a liar is one thing. Accepting you are a liar is quite sobering. I'd never considered myself untrustworthy. I'd always been able to keep secrets and not blab things all over the place. Probably one of the reasons Niall kept me around. But looking at myself and what I'd done, there really was no denying it.

I let Harry fall on the sword for me. I stayed in the background and I let the brunt hit him square in the face. I could try to rationalize that. He told me to stay out of it. He told me he'd handle it. He told me it would blow over. And I for the first time in....forever....I did what I was told. But he couldn't save me from the Internet. That's where I was going to pay my penance for what I'd done.

I couldn't say I wasn't bothered by what was being said about me. I mean, suggesting Harry take my daughter away was kind of extreme. But I also couldn't say I wasn't expecting it. The fans were protective of the boys. I understood it. I was too.

Harry walked into the room, completely unaware of what I'd been doing since the last time he'd seen my in the living room when he went to put Lucy to bed. He walked over to me and captured me in a soft kiss. He slid his hand under my chin to tip my head up. His lips lingered against mine for a moment before one more kiss and then he turned to walk into the bathroom.

I heard my phone ring and I glanced down to see Niall's face pop up on my screen. I picked it up and put it to my ear,

"Hello?"

"You seen this shit online?" He yelled, probably louder than he'd meant to. I cleared my throat and looked up at Harry who was brushing his teeth in the bathroom, "They're suggesting Harry go after you for custody. That's fuckin' nuts!"

"Niall-"

"I'm sorry, Em. I don't even know what t'say."

"It's fine. I knew it was coming."

"It's not fine." He said firmly, "It's not."

I cast a worried glance in Harry's direction when he shut the water off and started to make his way out of the bathroom. I didn't want him to hear Niall going off. Harry rarely pulled his Twitter up and without management around he'd remained blissfully unaware of what had been going on since his interview.

"Niall-"

"What's Harry have to say about all this? I bet he's pissed."

I cleared my throat when Harry walked out of the bathroom towards his side of the bed,

"He hasn't said much."

"I'll ask him tomorrow....this is getting disgusting. I'm gonna say somethin'."

"Please don't say anything."

I felt the bed shift when Harry sat down on it.

"Who's saying something?" He asked as he slid under the covers and turned towards me. I shook my head,