Always Look At The Stars

Chapter 12

Vanessa keeped a straight face during the rest of the day, she was a princess, a futur ruler. Queens don't lets their emotions show, they stay marble. How foolish is had been of her to believe she was somebody else, she wasn't, she had never been. She had put her peotries book away, they were just a distraction from her real duties. She even throwed her new hoddies in her bin by her desk, she wouldn't need that anymore. Holidays were over, in one week, she would be back with her Grams and life will carry on. She was about to call Stephen to patch thing up with him when Isabelle called her. She wandered for a split second, but realise that it was not her fault, it was her brother. She answered after two rings.

-« Hey, vanessa.

- Hello Isabelle she replied coodly.

- Look, i know you must be mad at Alex right now but it wasn't his fault.

Yeah right, and why didn't call himself, or even answered her text. Anyway, she let her friend carry on.

- It just that something came up, and he is really sorry.

- Can't he apologise himself ? reproached Vanessa

- No he can't, I'm sorry I can't explain more to you but it is quite complicated.

- Obliously. SHe didn't believe a word, he was just a coward.

Isabelle must had realised she couldn't make thing better because she simply said afterward.

- I'not asking you to forgive him, but I just thought you should know that he is leaving tomorrow and he was wandering if you could come over to say goodbye.

God, he was leaving just because he had blow her off and was scared of the consequences. That is far more worst than be a coward, she couldn't even find a word right now to discribed him. And she was suppose to go see him, wasn't he suppose to come ? Unbelivable. She wanted to scream at Isabelle, saying what she was thinking but instead, her voiced sounded concerned.

- I though he was staying till next week.

- Plan changed, he want to stay but my father instisted, he needs to go back home. So, will you come by ?

- Yes i will, she fanilly replied after a few seconds.

Then she hang up.

She didn't go there immediatly, but though it was more royal to wait like one hour or two and to bring Chace along. When they arrived at the house, the maid opened the door, Aslhey seems tired, same for Isabelle and Chuck. They all sat in circle in the living room, not talking, kind of hopeless, staring at the wall. They didn't even got up when the other two entered. Then Isabelle rose up and came to them.

- Thank you for coming, her voice was hallow, Alex is up there. I think you should go first Vanessa.

What the hell was going on ? It was like a funeral in there. She went up the stair and walked till his room. The door was opened, on the floor was lying two suitcase already packed, he was ready to leave. As for Alex, he was lying on his bed, his eyes closed, his stomach slowing moving as he drew air into his lung. She stayed by the door, wandering if she had to come him, he was asleep, did she had to wake him up ? As if he had read her mind, he opened his eyes, rose halfway on his bed, and rested his back on pillows, it seems to drain all his force from him. His face was blank, emotionless, huge dark rings under his eyes. Did he sleep at all last night ? He smiled weakly at her and urged her to enter. She walked a few step and stood awkardly by his bed, was she allowed to sit on it ? He nodded, still reading her thought. They had been sitting in silence, looking at each other when he fanilly brooke the silent.

- I needed to apologize for yesterday, I hope you can forgive me. I really didn't mean it and I'm sorry I couldn't even warn you.

- What happened ? Are you okay ? she ask

He shook his head sligthly as if he was brushing away her question.

- That is not the subject, I actually wanted to see you to finish what we had started. Two weeks ago, you admitted to me that you wanted to be free, now, we have one more thing to acomplish. But you have to answer me honestly. What do you want to do ?

- What do you mean ? she said puzzled.

- Who do you want to truly be ? he tried to explain

- I don't know.

- Don't lie to me, you know what you want and you have to ask yourself one question. Do you truly want to be a queen ?

Vanessa didn't expect that at all, all thoses weeks, they had done those silly thing but she had always thought that once she would go back home, it would be over. Did it really had to be ? She didn't know how long she had stood there, comtenplating what it would be like to not be a princess all the time, not having her life plan out for her by her grand mother. Alex just sat there, looking at her, trying to read all the emotions her face went throught. Fanilly, she admitted.

-No, at least not right now.

He smiled with all his theeth, then he question her.

- And what do you want to do ? At leats right now.

She eyed him anxious, could she trust him with her dream. Nobody knew about it.

- I want to study European litterature in Paris. She fanilly retrocked

- So what are you waiting for ? He urged her.

- I can't, I have to go back home and...

He cut her mid sentence.

- Look, that kind of studies take at most 3 years, I can honestly think that your country can survived without you for that time, no offence of course. But if you wait longer, it would be harder to furfill that dream. And in 50 years, you are going to regret to taking a jump.

- But why grand mother would never allow it. She replied.

- Well, it is not her life, it is yours. He simply responded

- It's is not that easy, and I don't even speak fluently french...

Cut her again.

- Now it simply looks like you are giving excuses because you're afraid.

- I'm a not. She stood up, offended.

- So go ask you grand mother, your parents and don't give in till you get what you want. And if you can't convince them, at least you tried.

She glared at him contemplating what he had just said. She could ask them, there would be no harm in that.

Night had follen in Florida. Alex had leaft a few hours before, they all went to the airport to say goodbye. He hugged Ahsley, kissed Isabelle forehead, shook Chace and Chuck hands, then put his fingers on Vanessa shoulder and whispered just for her « Don't think, just do ». And just like that, he was gone. Vanessa was on her balcony, thinking about what she was about to do. She had one week to prepare her speech and she was going to convaince them, she was not a quitter.

She released that everytime she had saw him, it had drove little by little away from her old self and her Gram. At first she hadn't like the thought today, it filled her with hope, she was become each time a more herself. And maybe one day, there will be a self confident Vanessa.

Everybody is allowed to dream isn't it ? Even princesses.