Illusionary love. (On Hold.)

Chapter Three.

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"Were you the one asking from the very first?" I asked.
"No, i only asked the last question and forgot to untick."
"Oh okay..and btw he's no one."
I closed the app, threw my phone away and sighed.
"I'm so stupid! So stupid," I started slapping myself and finally threw myself on my bed, it was Anderson at first but then it wasn't him, I mean I blocked him how can he ask me again? Gush! I'm so stupid!
My phone buzzed on the table, I got up and took it off the table and then threw myself on my bed, again.
It wasn't a question from ask.fm so I was relieved. It was a message on Kik, so I clicked on the app and waited for it to connect.
When it finally connected I stared at my phone for exactly five minutes and then clicked on the message that came from the person I talked to few days ago from ask.fm.
I read the name more than once to make sure I wasn't dreaming, 'John ' it said.
John: Just block him if he's still bothering you.
Me: Uh..dw I already did..
Me: Thanks btw ^^
John: No problem, but if he bothered you again just tell me okay?
Me: okay..yeah thanks again
Me: you're just like a brother to me

(I have no idea why I said that but I did.)

John: I'm glad to have a young sister like you, (smiley face)
And so we continued chatting until it was time to go, we bid goodbyes and closed.
That night I was happy, thinking about all this and how protective he was even though we only talked couple of times. I also liked the thought of having a protective brother that can protect me and be there when I needed him.

The next day I woke up thinking of what happened last night, it was the first thing that came in my mind so I said to myself, 'let it be, I mean you said you were making new friends so why not?'
I nodded to myself, took my phone and unlocked it. I looked for that certain app and a huge grin came to my face when I finally found it. I clicked on the app that said, 'Kik' and waited it to connect impatiently; I wanted to text him good morning, I don't know why am I this way or what I felt but I wanted to talk to him again and I did.
He replied few minutes later and we started chatting and knowing each other more, he was fun to talk to and I was never bored while texting him. I even liked having him by my side. So we started talking everyday whenever we got the chance to.

One day I was on his ask.fm profile reading and liking his answers when something caught me off guard, in one of his answers he was talking about how much he loved his girlfriend and that she had the most beautiful smile he's ever seen. He even posted a picture of her, so I learned that he had a girlfriend..and she was beautiful.
I felt something I've never felt before and I wasnt sure what was the cause of it.
I started thinking about it and it lead to me overthinking about everything and I realized I was doing a mistake here, hanging myself onto someone I barely know.
"He's just my brother, so it's fine", I laughed.
I brushed the thought of all this away and decided to not make a mistake by making up some rules that I should stick up with until the rest of my life.
Rule #1: Never think of John as anything except him being your brother.
Rule #2: Have a life.
Rule #3: Make more friends.
I'm actually trying to change the fact that I'm a loner, I thought to myself.
Rule #4: Stick to rule #1.
Rule #5: (Blank)
"What am I doing?" I asked myself and then huffed in surrender.
This thing is getting me crazy. I got up from the chair and started looking for my art supplies, I decided to draw.

An escape maybe?

I started drawing, I don't exactly know what I was drawing, all I know was that I was doing it perfectly.

From there, drawing took me to lala-land.

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