I'm 15 my name is Savannah, I don't live in the best neighborhood, I don't go to the best school. Not everything is so horrible. I have my crush who is also my neighbor. I have minor problems with my mom but we make it work. I have a little brother that is 13. I don't really have friends honestly my friends aren't really my friends. They kinda pretend to be, also there are a lot of secrets throughout the whole friendship Isabel feels some things about Maria that she won't talk to her about. Jovyann feels some type of way about Isabel but she wouldn't dare tell her for reasons I don't know. Maria is probably the only one who doesn't have some indifferent feelings about anyone in our group. Wrong I was when in reality she hated my guys I just never realized it she talked shut about me so the time and apparently I'm really annoying but I had never done anything to her. We all pretend to be perfect friends when were really not. I wonder who would hang out with who if we realized we weren't really friends we really don't hang out with anybody else i'm positive they would find another group to hang out with.
I always thought I had reliable friends that I could tell anything but I don't, I tell them something personal and they can't even keep their mouths shut and not tell anyone. Omari Choyce, a boy that goes to my school yeah, hes hot, but he is the average dick. I texted my friends goofing around saying he was a hot god and quoted chris browns song and said he should fuck me back to sleep "jokingly". Of course, they showed him the texts, talk about embarrassing. Whenever he see's me he brings it up and makes fun of me in front of his friends they all laugh at me. He always calls me a turtle, which for the record I do not look like a turtle. My friends even laugh with them they don't even stick up for me I can't show that it affects me it would only make it worse so I pretend not to care and ignore them. Also hang out with my friends less and less because they are not really nice to me anyways. Maria I feel pretends to be my friends because honestly without them I wouldn't have any friends. They are my only friends. Isabel talks shit about Maria with me sometimes, and I do too. Maria is just low key rude to me and Jovyann just is low key rude to I think she tries to hide it she'll give everyone a lollipop and not me. She'll give everyone gum and not me sometimes. Maria and Isabel will have chips and eat them in front of me and not share. Whenever I have food I always share with them but if I don't they get all mad at me like WTF!
Sometimes, I get so fed up with them they don't even know why i'm mad at them. I get fed up with school period the annoying ass people who make fun of me period the only time I am happy is when I listen to music and read books. Or when I hang out with my neighbor Chris also my neighbor, we text all the time on kik until I broke my phone so now i'm sad. Yesterday we went to the park and got high yes, I smoke. We were just talking about random stuff he said he loves getting newbies high. I was like hahaha, he took a drink of my gatorade and I swear since I was slightly high already he looked like one of the hot guys on the commercials advertising a drink or something I would tell hi but I didn't want it to be weird and plus I couldn't talk because I couldn't stop laughing. So I was kinda stuck just staring at him. He didn't mind, then he said he was going to record me because i'm really stupid when I get high. He said he was going to show everybody, but I knew he wasn't he wouldn't do something like that. I've told him some personal stuff I haven't even told my mom and he has said nothing about it. I remember one time we were walking home and he told me he knew my grandpa was a paedophile, I was shocked coz no one knew about it and he asked me if he ever touched me I said no, he was like ok coz he said if he had he would kick his ass. I asked him how he knew that and he said he finds things out about people he cares about.
