Snapshot » l.t.

Chapter 35

Chapter 35


Renee's POV


I stared out the window in my bedroom at the moon.

I could never sleep anymore. Not even sleeping pills worked. I would take them, but as soon as I began to feel woozy, I would force myself awake. I couldn't let the demons get me.

Yes, I still had my fear of the dark. I didn't forget about that. It had just been easier for me to sleep when I was happy and everything was perfect.

Now... I couldn't fall asleep without worrying that some creature would get me. That something would ruin me for all my bad doings. That I would finally get what I deserved.

The moon was full. It illuminated a square part of my bedroom. I sat on a stool I brought from the kitchen, and rested my elbows against the windowsill.

My eyelids drooped. My eyes throbbed with tiredness. But still I did not sleep.

I glanced behind me. The entire room was dark, excluding the moonlight and dull glow of my alarm clock. But even those small bits of comfort cast terrifying shadows against the walls.

I trembled. I hugged my knees to my chest and faced the window again.

What did Louis mean by calling me "selfish"? What was I doing that was selfish? He was the one that didn't want any of his friends near me! Now that's what I call selfish.

But in a way... I suppose he had a point. I was rejecting him to protect myself. I was going to have to experience heartbreak sometime.

How would getting myself a regular boyfriend be any different? He would leave me eventually too, and that would reduce me to tears.

But who says I would ever love him? I didn't love anyone. Except for stupid Louis.

He was the one I wanted. Nobody else. Just him. And he obviously wanted me. But I pushed him away, over and over. And for what? To protect my stupid, foolish self.

There was no way Louis would take me back. I treated him too harshly. I called him names and laughed at him and made fun of him. How did he fall for me?

I shook my head. I blinked, and that split-second sensation made me want to sleep even more.

What were we reduced to? Tears, heartbreak, and pain? That's all we ever felt around each other. We didn't fit.

No, my heart corrected me. What about all the fun times you had?

I blinked again, this time in surprise. I guess we did have some fun times together.

Shopping. Walking. Eating gelato. Dressing Louis up in Victoria's Secret.

I giggled. I picked up my phone and turned it on. I pulled up the picture. I laughed again. Louis' expression was priceless. He had hated that.

Yet, he had forgiven me. I faltered. No matter what I did to him, no matter how demeaning, he always came back. He always forgave me.

And what did I do? Punish him for my actions.

It wasn't fair.

I frowned. I was a big jerk. What was wrong with me?

I swiped my finger across the screen, looking at more pictures.

Selfies. Events. Even a couple videos. I viewed one. It was only a couple seconds long, but I loved it anyway.

"Watch this," Louis said into my phone with a huge grin.

He raced over to a rack of clothing and hid behind it. A woman wandered over and began to sift through them. She didn't notice Louis.

"Pick me!" he squeaked. "Pick me! Pick me!"

The woman gasped, her eyes widening. She skittered away.

I could hear myself in the background laughing, the phone shaking.

"Told ya," Louis smirked, coming back over.

Then the video ended.

My vision blurred. I wiped away the tears. I swiped the screen some more. All the pictures either made me laugh, cry, smile, or blush. Or all four.

I reached the end of my photos. I ran my thumb across the screen one last time. I frowned.

It was a picture of me. But I don't remember taking the picture. Apparently, the me in the photo didn't know her picture was being taken, either.

I was in my dress, before it was all ripped. I was twirling a strand of hair between my fingers, and my cheeks were a different shade than the rest of my face. But I was smiling.

I had a little notification in the corner of my picture. I exited out of the app and went to my email, where the notification was coming from. I opened the email my phone had apparently sent.


This is just the beginning.
-L


A hand flew to my mouth. It all connected in my head, like a puzzle finally being solved.

Louis took the picture. He sent it to himself. It was the new beginning for... us.

At least, it was supposed to be.

I ruined it.

What had I done?

Tears flowed down my cheeks freely. I didn't bother wiping them away.

What kind of horrible person was I? Why did I do that to him?

I had to find him. I had to go to Louis right away and beg for his forgiveness (that seemed kind of opposite, but whatever). I didn't care if he accepted it, he just had to know how sorry I was. How wrong I was.

I didn't deserve him. But he had to know.

Something hit the window I was sitting next to. I jumped so high that I fell off my stool.

Tink!

There it was again!

I sat up slowly and looked out the window. I couldn't see anything.

Tink!

I lurched backwards. "Demons, don't eat me!" I wailed.

Nothing ate me. I opened my eyes slowly.

Tink!

Okay, what was that? If it wasn't demons, then what--or who--was that?

Tink!

Now it was getting annoying.

I pulled myself up to my stool and pressed my nose against the glass. I surveyed the area.

Tink!

I flinched back, but I narrowed my eyes. I threw the window open.

"Okay, who is that?" I yelled into the night. "Get off my lawn, you crazy kids!"

"First of all, this isn't your lawn," a voice that made my heart pound retorted. "And second of all, I am not a kid. I am a man."

"Louis?" I whispered, and looked down. "Louis?" I called a bit louder. "Where are you? I... I can't see you."

"Does this help?"

A light suddenly flashed on, and my eyes shot to it. Louis was illuminated by his phone. Then the light went out, and I was plunged back into eternal darkness.

"Look, Louis, we need to talk--" I started to say, but he interrupted.

"I know," he said. "I know what you're going to say."

"You do?" I asked doubtfully.

"Yeah. You think it's crazy that I'm here outside your flat at midnight, throwing rocks at your window. You just want me to go away."

"Um, actually, that's not--"

"But guess what, Renee." I got the feeling Louis was grinning. "I'm a stubborn guy."

What the hell was he talking about? Sure, it was crazy that he was here standing outside my flat at midnight, throwing rocks at my window. But I didn't want him to go away.

Well, obviously he doesn't know that, my heart snapped at me. Since you're such a big bitch.

I thought hearts were supposed to be loving, I retorted.

I am. It's just so hard to tolerate a person like you.

I know, I replied miserably.

I opened my mouth to tell Louis that's not at all what I thought, and he should come up here and talk with me face to face, but once again he cut me off.

"And before I begin," he added. "I just wanted to let you know I am NOT crazy."

"What?" I exclaimed.

I swear I could hear him clear his throat all the way from up here.

"Louis, what are you--"

"If I don't say this now," he sang. "I will surely break. As I'm leaving the one I want to take. Forgive the urgency, but hurry up and wait. My heart has started to separate."

My heart broke but swelled at the same time. Oh... my... freaking... gherd.

"Ooh, ooh, be my baby. Ooooh. Ooh, ooh, be my baby. I'll look after you."

I found myself mouthing the words, faintly singing along with him. I cracked a watery smile. The stupid cheeseball.

I broke. I ran from the window. I grabbed a jacket. I raced out of my flat and clambered down the stairs. My bare feet burned with each step, but I didn't care.

The lobby had light in it. I used it as my guide as I darted outside. I stumbled over my own feet trying to find him.

I looked around. How was I supposed to find anything in this kind of darkness?

I looked up at the moon. My second guide.

I took careful steps forward on the grass. My feet somehow didn't trip over anything. They seemed to know where they were going.

As I neared where I hoped my window was, I thought I heard whispers. The demons? I began to shiver.

But as I took a few more steps forward, I recognized the whisper. I could make out actual words.

"It's always have, and never hold. But you've begun to feel like home...."

Louis thought I'd gone. That I'd given up on him.

Never again.

"Louis?" I cried, stretching my hands forward blindly. My arms pinwheeled. Where the hell was I?

I thought I heard grass being squished. "Renee?" Louis gasped.

"Good, you're near," I said. "I'm practically blind in the stupid dark. Turn on your phone so I know where you are."

I partly hoped he wouldn't turn on his phone.

"I don't think that will be necessary."

Wish granted.

"I'm just a few feet away."

"Then come closer, you doofus," I said, but began to walk towards his voice.

I felt stupid, kinda like a toddler taking their first steps. I was walking slowly, my hands extended in front of me. What if Louis was just messing with me? What if I wandered around forever and never found him?

My hands hit something hard.

"Ah! The boogeyman!" I screamed.

"Where?" Louis screamed.

He sounded close. I blinked, then blushed. Thank goodness he couldn't see me. Hopefully.

"Um, never mind," I mumbled.

"You came down." It wasn't a question.

"Yeah," I said, rolling my eyes. "No shit, Sherlock. I... I have to tell you something. A lot of somethings, actually."

"Oh, really? Like what?"

"Like I was wrong about everything!" I blurted out. "I could go on for hours, but in the end, I just have one thing to say: I'm sorry. I'm sorry for all the things I said to you and for doubting you and making fun of you and calling you all those names. I'm sorry for dressing you up in Victoria's Secret and--"

"Renee, hold on!" Louis exclaimed, and easily covered my mouth with his hand. Maybe he could see me. "Why are you apologizing for all that?"

"Because I was being a jerk," I said. I pointed at my chest. "Even my heart thinks so!"

I'm pretty sure Louis was giving me a weird look, but I didn't care. I was just telling the truth.

"Renee, you don't need to apologize for all that," Louis told me.

I frowned. "I don't? But why--"

"I loved all those things," he interrupted. "You calling me names, treating me like you did, and whatever. That's you. And I fell for you."

I blushed again. Oops.

"But what about Victoria's Secret?" I asked.

"Okay, yeah, that I hated," Louis admitted with a chuckle. "But I still like you."

"But that makes no sense," I protested. "I was a jerk. Yet, you still like me. You've only been... interesting, I guess, to me twice. Yet I still hated your guts. What is wrong with me?"

I clenched my hair tightly in my fists. Louis gently removed them.

"Nothing is wrong with you," he said. "In a way, it's understandable. But nobody's perfect."

"Yep," I agreed. I smiled. "I never thought I'd say this, but becoming color-blind is the best thing that ever happened to me."

I didn't even have to guess what Louis' expression said now: Da hell?

"What are you talking about?" he exclaimed. "That's awful! How is that the best thing that ever happened to you?"

"Easy," I said, trying to conceal my giggles. "Sure, I lost my job, half my friends, and nearly went homeless. But worst of all, my dream was ripped away from me."

"Thanks for rubbing salt in the wound," Louis muttered.

"I could explain to you why it is the best thing that ever happened to me," I continued. "But I'd rather show you."

"What?"

I felt around before me. I figured the hard thing I bumped into was his chest. I felt upwards.

"Is that your ear or your nostril?"

"That's my lip, actually."

"That's what I thought," I grinned.

I lurched upwards and kissed him full on the mouth. All we needed now was the romantic rain and the moon shining above us. Number two was checked off.

I stopped after about five seconds. Louis didn't say anything.

"Too soon?" I asked nervously.

"No," he replied breathlessly. "Just perfect."

He kissed me again.

I began to lean into him, but I stopped myself. It pained me to do this, but I pushed him off for the second time.

"Not again," he sighed.

"No," I said. "This is different. This time it's that I don't deserve you. I know what you did. I saw the email and the picture."

I swear Louis' cheeks glowed in the dark.

"Oh, you saw that?" he asked sheepishly. "That was just me, living in my own fantasy world. Hoping it would become a reality."

His hand caressed my cheek. His touch was soft. I closed my eyes.

"No," I repeated, and took a step back. "I don't deserve you. You deserve to find someone better. Not someone like me."

"But I don't want to find anyone else," Louis said in a pleading tone. "You're perfect to me. It's you I want."

I blushed for the third time. I wanted to convince him, but at the same time I didn't want to.

"Let's just agree that we're all that we need, and that's that," Louis offered.

I thought about it. I shrugged.

"Yeah, alright," I conceded.

Louis swept me up in his arms out of nowhere. Surprised, I flung my arms around his neck. He pressed his lips to mine. I smiled into the kiss.

"So, how'd you like the song?" he smirked.

I sighed and rolled my eyes.

"You big cheeseball," I teased him and kissed him again.

All's well that ends well.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Author's Note:


Ah, a happy ending.

Whoa, wait, not of the story! Of the chapter! Although, that would be a pretty good ending for the story.

But there are still things I have to cover. Some things that you guys may have forgotten, but I have remembered.

Did you guys miss me? I haven't posted an author's note in a while. I don't why I didn't. I just didn't.

I am sorry to report that the end of "Snapshot" is coming soon. Yeah, sad, I know. I'm crying, too. But there are still a few chapters left to enjoy in the story.

So lez git 'er dun. (How many of you said that in Larry the Cable Guy's voice? That's what I was trying to get at there. I'll shut up now)


Stay Beautiful,
-Sammi <3