Purity // Zico

16

"Learn from past mistakes to avoid future ones."

Chapter Sixteen

"So... you didn't ask her out?"

I sighed running my fingers through my hair frustratedly, "no..."

"Why not?!" Kyung stared at me appalled,

"There just wasn't a good time-"

"Come on-"

"And she fell asleep."

"Oh..." he groaned, "dude you gotta do it soon though if you're gonna. We're just gonna start getting busier. At least Running Man's over and all but still... We're just gonna get busier and busier now."

"Trust me I know." I glared.

"Damn it must really suck to be you right now!" It did, far more than my close friend understood. I wanted to be able to hold her, show Chan how much I loved her. Apart of me wanted to make sure she knew that not all men are bad; I want her to trust me to the fullest extent.

Yukwon entered the room and looked right at me, "You know it's her birthday tomorrow right?"

"What." I froze, "I had no clue...."

"Yeah she doesn't like people knowing. I know do because Sunhye was complaining about that she didn't want to do anything."

"Fuck..." There was no way I'd ask Chan out on her birthday, that seems far from right. But I can't keep myself from holding back for too long, I need her to officially be labeled as mine. And very soon.

-week later-

"Chan breathe." A firm female voice said close to my ear, a hand rubbing my back. Two hands grabbed onto mine whispering something softly.

"Songi go grab some more of her medications."

"On it."

I couldn't breathe. My mind was filled with drark thoughts and confined feelings. My whole body felt trapped in an airless vex. Everything really felt lost, like it was too much to bare- I wanted it to be over.

Just earlier I was surprised by two of my closest friends who grabbed the razor from my hands before I could ruin my streak. I had been dead set on my decision and there was no changing my mind; but maybe now... it ached. My skin raged for the feeling of a dull but fierce throbbing pain. It had been years since it had gotten this bad.

Snapping the three of us from our endeavors, my phone beeped; finally pulling away my focus.

Jiho: Hey, you free? I haven't seen you in awhile and I know people have been worried about you lately.

"Who's Jiho?"

Mari and Songi had no idea that I was friends with Zico, or even that we had something between us... "oh he's just a friend."

"Are you two talking!?"

"Please I-I can't do this right now." thinking about the guy I'm head over heels for, caused just another familiar panic to rise up in my chest.

"Jesus Chan please breathe."

"I-I can't make it s-stop." I started to tear up, hands shaking.

"I-I'll make you some coffee!"

"No we gotta ween her off that stuff!" They argued back and forth for some time about what was best for me, without even a consultation. Guilt gnawed at me thinking that two people I cared about were giving up their free time just for me.