"Why won't you call me oppa?" I murmured into my girlfriends ear as she lounged on my lap. It still felt like a dream still that Chan was mine; no one else's.
"Do you really want me to?" She replied, not looking away from the tv.
"Yes."
"I-I'll try to, it may take me a bit." I kissed her neck softly in reply. Just as always she shivered, blushing. I loved seeing how Chan reacted to my touch and watching how flustered she could get. It was endearing and it made me fall for her even more than I already had.
"The guys are coming over for a little bit. Kyung kept bugging me that apparently I have to share you."
She rested her head in the crook of my neck giggling, "Okay..." I confessed to Kyung about asking Chan out after a few weeks into our relationship. The constant harassment from him and even the other guys was becoming too much having to hold it in. Besides, I wanted everyone to know that Chan was mine.
But having all the guys around Chan always worried me. She was already shy and reserved as it was, but adding in another group of guys made it worse. This would only be the third time she's met them, and I can tell she's already feeling uncomfortable just by the topic. I remember how she gripped onto the back of shirt as Jihoon simply tried to give her a hug. It's dawned on me more now than ever that androphobia's something she struggles with more than I had fully realized.
"Just tell me if you feel uncomfortable at all, I mean they do know about it."
"T-they do?" I couldn't tell if she was upset or just nervous. She's not a fan of sharing personal information with people I've learned. It's almost impossible to get her to tell me stuff. Almost.
"Mhmm. I can't have them doing stuff that'll bother you." I tightened by arm around her waist.
"Thank you Jiho."
"For what babe?"
"Just..." she took a sharp breath in against my neck, "for understanding and not resenting me."
"I could never resent you Channie. You're too dear to me, too precious." I kissed her temple watching as she nuzzled into me further.
"Thank you." she whispered again.
"I'm always here for you." I hope she knew that I truly meant it, I've always tried to show that I've cared ever since we met. But sometimes it always seemed like she was sad, yet that she had no burdens at all. There was always something on Chan's mind though, I wish I knew what it was.
***
"So can I see you tomorrow?" Jiho brushed some hair behind my ear.
"Sure, you're free?"
"Mhmm, and I'd like to spend some time with you."
"Okay! Well I'll text you when I wake up, though I can't promise a time."
"That's fine." He took a step closer, pulling me into his chest. He smelled faintly of cologne and alcohol. Tonight had been fun, though it worried me that Jiho would have to drive home- even if he wasn't completely intoxicated he still had a few drinks.
"Hey Jiho?"
"Yes?"
"W-will you stay?"
"Do you want me to?"
"Besides, you shouldn't be driving."
"Babe I'm fine," he chuckled, "but I'll stay with you for a little while if you want that." I didn't want to bluntly say I wanted him to stay, I didn't want to seem clingy... I tugged on his hand and I entered my apartment. He followed in behind me, a hand never leaving my back, "it's late, you're sure you want me staying? I'd hate to bug your roommate-'
"She's never really around." I said quietly, hating to constantly remind myself of how much I was losing my best friend. Ming was never around anymore, she doesn't even know I have a boyfriend...
"You okay?"
"Yeah of course. Uh, want anything to eat or drink?" I said as I made my way into the kitchen. Already, I felt as if my mind was off in a different place. I couldn't focus properly.
"Maybe water... how long do you want me to stay?"
"I-I don't know. Maybe you should get some sleep?"
"Chan. If you want me to stay, I'll stay. Just say it."
"Please stay..."
He sighed, "You're not okay."
"I'm fine Jiho."
"Nothing happened tonight, right?"
"No not at all." It was partly a lie.
I had a lot of fun being around Jiho and his bandmates; they were very easy to get along with. There were jokes, laughs and conversations. It was nerve wracking being the only girl there, but soon my fears were put to rest... yet quickly the atmosphere for me changed. Luckily no one noticed but my phone decided to blow up with texts from my friends in the group chat. It was just another petty fight in which harsh words began to be used, and feelings were hurt. I of course said nothing, but it hurt watching them all lash out on one another over who knows what. And the whole situation with Ming wasn't helping at all.
"You're a pretty bad liar Channie... I've known you for awhile now and it's easy to tell." Jiho leaned against one of the counters.
"Ah really?"
"Yep. So, what's up?"
"Just my friends being childish, it's really nothing."
"Can I see?" He motioned to my phone,
"Yeah, it's dumb though." scrolling up on the messages, I stopped where they first began, "Read until the end I guess. Honestly I haven't read all of them so I don't know what's entirely there."
I probably should've gone though all the messages...
Intently I watched Jiho stare at the screen, brows furrowed. I could see bits of shock cross his features at different points. If he was seeing what I mainly had, I wouldn't blame him for being surprised, "damn these girls are intense... remind me not to get on their bad sides."
"Now you see why I never respond..." it was a constant battle between Mari, Songi, James and our other friend. Sides always clashed and nobody could respect opinions. Lucas and I always seemed to be the ones to stay out of it all.
"I don't blame you. That's fucking intense for a group of girls your age," he chuckled, "It started out as nothing and then escalated pretty damn quickly."
I tried to smile taking it lightly, "happens about once a week."
"Well fuck..." he frowned, "they're going at it again."
"Oh? What's it about?" I grabbed a glass from the cupboard to get a drink,
"You."
"Me?"
"Mhmm." Jiho looked at me, a different emotion shown in his eyes, "you're depressed?"
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