Angels & Shadows

Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Ben was at his desk. It was his third year at the Northlands Secondary School and he still hadn’t fitted in. Academically he was top of his class, top of his year in fact. Science and mathematics were his strong points and the teachers had high expectations of him.

Ben excelled in sports too, well individual sports to be more precise. Here he was without challenge and had won numerous awards for field events, swimming, tennis, fencing, archery and the like. In fact, Ben’s swordsmanship had earned him a place in the county championships, where he would be fencing against the under sixteens. Ben’s archery skills were simply on another level and after only a year, his tutor was unable to match him.

Team sports however were altogether a different thing. The problem was integration. Since the accident Ben had become withdrawn and unable to relate to his classmates. They in turn had sensed a new weakness in him and in the cruel way that children do, they had exploited this. At first it was just unkind remarks but soon this turned into goading and pushing.

One day Luke Hemphry, Captain of the school under sixteens football team, took it a stage further. He forced Ben into a fight, expecting an easy win, but he lost miserably and wore a pair of black eyes for two weeks afterwards, much to the amusement of his friends.

They kept their distance after that but then came the current phase, exclusion. Ben would have preferred that they continued to want to fight him, at least he could respond or deal with the pain afterwards but this was the cruellest tactic of all and it deepened Ben’s feelings of isolation.

There was no possibility of joining in team games with these boys, so Ben put all his effort into what he could do and lost himself in his science, maths and his own individual sports, blotting out all else.

Ben’s thoughts turned to Elizabeth. She had been so strong right from when they first received the terrible news of their parent’s deaths. Although Aunt Jillie had tried her hardest to fill the void, Ben had naturally turned to Elizabeth for comfort which had been a monumental burden on her.

There are moments that only happen occasionally in life where you suddenly see things clearly and in perspective. This was one of them for Ben, and it was an epiphany. He was already two years older than Elizabeth was when the accident happened, but he was still depending on her for support. He conceded that it was time he stood up for himself and took on some of the responsibility.

The decision lifted a great weight from his shoulders and Ben felt energised and positive by it. As he walked past the noticeboard on his way out of school, he put his name down on the football team list for the next day’s Cup Final against Kingston.

“Fat chance” he thought “but that’ll shock the bastards!” Ben’s sardonic smile said it all.

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“Are you sure about this Ben?” Elizabeth questioned as she packed his football kit. “You hate all team sports and anyway you can’t play football. You’ll make a fool of yourself in front of everybody including Auntie and Uncle.”

Elizabeth knew that this was going to end badly and she was cross with him for putting his head in the lion’s mouth.

“Lizzie, I can play football, I just don’t. It’s never been about the football. It’s been about the boys, they hate me you know that.” Ben was completely matter of fact about it, not emotional as he always had been in the past. “I don’t want you to worry about me anymore Lizzie I can deal with this now.”

Elizabeth fixed him with her big green eyes challenged him. “So what‘s changed Ben?”

“I have Lizzie. I’ve grown up at last. Believe it or not I just don’t care, they can all go to Hell.” Ben was resolute and clear minded “If I don’t play then they win anyway, like they always do.”