She Dreams Of Spain

Chapter One

Chapter One-SDOS

At school no one ever seemed to notice me. I mean sure, I knew some people, but there wasn't anyone I could actually connect with. No one I could actually tell that I have fears, let alone what those fears were.

I talked to people, but every time I thought maybe I could actually be friends with that person they seem to do something that shows their actual colors. Throughout the course of my life this happened at least once a year or maybe once every two years. For this year that was Gunner Hosey. He had been interested in me at the beginning of the year. No one had ever liked me so it made my heart flutter at the thought, though I wasn't attracted to Gunner.

Not that Gunner wasn't attractive, he just wasn't to me. Gunner was popular, he was on the football team-the varsity football team. This isn't cliche though. He isn't the quarterback and never did I once fall in love with them. He was the guy on the team that weighed over two-hundred pounds of pure muscle but looked like the type of guy to eat seven or eight cheeseburgers per every sitting. He wore either a cowboy or old baseball hat and cowboy boots that stretched over his feet up to his calves. He normally supported the stained white shirt and overly washed blue jeans look. Gunner always had to be chewing on something. Which was ironic considering he loved to make fun of my cigarette addiction, and when I dropped that my coffee addiction. For two months straight Gunner would take this awful concoction of tobacco,crushed coffee beans, and honey to school. He used to slather it on the sides of his mouth, chew, then spit into a water bottle filled with his brown saliva.

Gunner was always nice to me. Ever since freshman year where, for a semester, we shared a math class. He seemed bright and cheery. Back then I had a tiny crush on him because he actually talked to me like a human being. Sophomore year came and yet again for a semester we shared a math class. We shared Honors Integrated Math 2-Geometry and Trigonometry unit.

We fell into this pattern after a few weeks. Every morning I'd come in and take my place two spots away from him. He'd make his way over to ask to see my homework because he forgot to do his and it wouldn't happen again. This happened everyday. He stopped being that nice guy from freshman math though. We shared math and english. He used to "playfully" tease me. He sort of became more man whorish. Gunner loved to flirt, but he had never really meant it until he accidently went too far with his then girlfriend and the whole wait until marriage thing flew out the window.

By second semester Gunner had switched out of our math class because his grade had plummeted so much our teacher didn't think he'd even pass the year with a D. His english grade wasn't anything to brag about either, and he loved to sleep around.

Through all this I considered him a potential friend. That was until the day I was heading to band class and Gunner stopped me to talk. He placed one hand on my butt the other on my breast and leaned down to whisper in my ear," After practice you could ride with me to my place and we could fuck. It would be the ride of your life, baby."

I was angry. I slapped him across the face. His bright blue eyes burned with a ferocity I have never seen in him before.

"Dumb little bitch, why don't you you just jump from the roof. Maybe that way none of us would have to do finals. We all know you want to. You aren't good at hiding those scars on your wrists. I was doing you a favor. I thought maybe a slut like you would be going through torture because no one will dare touch a freak like you." he sneered at me before turning away. Suitable friend interest #unknown turned out to be a bust.

To say at the least I didn't end up making it to my band class. I cut the rest of the day. I didn't want to take what he said to heart but I ended up doing it anyway.

No one could ever love me. Everytime I look at myself I know that, I just tell myself otherwise so maybe I didn't have to go through the pain of being unlovable. I was boring from the way I talked, to the way I walked, to the way I looked.

I had brown hair with reddish hues, and nearly black eyes. My eyes were so dark it was hard for people to look me in the eye when I spoke. It always gave them the creeps. My hair came down to my shoulders in thick, wavy, curls. My hair used to be so much longer but during the summer after a mental breakdown I hacked most of it off in the spur of the moment. My skin wasn't dark, nor was it light. I had a mixture of my parents skin. My mom was so white she was almost yellow while my dad, being a mexican immigrant, was sort of an olive color.

No one even gave me a second glance. I am the girl that nobody sees. Right now nobody did see me. I was bawling my eyes out, mascara running down my face. In one hand I had my phone. I was looking for a number to call. Disappointment and despair sat heavy on my stomach. I had no one. In the other hand was a lit cigarette. I was trying to stop.

Fuck that.

Maybe I should just listen to Gunner and kill myself. No one would miss me. Everyone hated me. I'll never amount to anything. I've never been anything. I'm always going to be alone and to be honest I think I'd rather die. It's settled then. I'll do it. I'm gonna fucking do it.

"Hi, I'm Wendell Ashton Clark .Call me Wendell. Whats a pretty girl like you crying out here during school hours." I must've jumped three feet. How did I not notice the hot boy in front of me.

He was cute. Not supermodel hot but hot by my high school standards. He had black hair that fell into his eyes. His eyes were hazel and I couldn't decipher if they were brown or green right now. He had on a black and white checkered shirt, a red jacket, dark jeans, and a pair of black vans. He was more on the leaner side. I shook his hand.

"Seraphina Paris LaRose. Call me whatever, and it's a really long story." I finished my sentence and wiped my eyes. This is so embarrassing. Someone finally notices me, and hes cute none the less, and I'm blubbering like a baby.

When I looked back at him he had this heart stopping smile on his face. He said the words that to this day I'll never forget. The way he said them. Maybe like we were already friends. By some mystery like he already knew me.

"I've got time."