Brush Fic

Offset Cup©™®

Bryan stepped out of the shower, staring at his ugly fatass in the mirror. He thought he'd never see a better chance to grow a live bacteria culture in his hair.
"What are the main requirements of life?" he wondered out loud, all scientific-like. He thought back to Little Einsteins, and remembered - food, water, and air.
"Well," he sighed, "I have plenty of water already in my hair, and the air conditioner is on because it's too STEAmy in here. I just need food."
So he wandered into the kitchen in a towel, his soaked hair dripping midlife crisis onto the linoleum. Bryan creaked open the cabinet, trying not to wake up Bob, and retrieved the bag of sugar. Hhe was almost finished sprinkling the sugar in his soggy hair when he heard a noise behind him. He turned, shocked to see Bob naked in front of him.
"What you doing with that sugar, honeypie? XD :3" Bob asked seductively, nearing Bryan and slipping an arm around his waist. Bryan stayed silent, wanting to keep his live bacteria culture a secret from his germaphobe boyfriend. But then, Bob rawred into his ear, and Bryan dropped his towel to reveal his ugly ass shrek vagina.
"Why don't you come to bed?" Bob asked quietly. Bryan nodded, patting his soggy bacteria hair and following Bob to bed.
Just as they began getting intimate, Bob made a noise like a dog throwing up a golf ball.
"oh my gosh Bryan, brush your fucking hair!" Bob whined, grabbing the hair brush from the nightstand. Bob panicked!. The brush would surely kill the live bacteria culture, but Bob couldn't know about it.
"No thanks, babe. Don't you love my disheveled look?"
"No. Brush your hair you filthy emo scum!" Bob hissed, eyes turning red. Bryan grabbed the brush from Bob's hand and shoved it up her ass, which was surprisingly hot. Bryan squealed in pleasure, sounding like a herd of dying buffalos. "Bob!!! More!!"
Bon trust the hairbrush in and out of his ass but then shove it up too far, letting the whole thing go into Brayn's ass. What the fyck Bob you stupid ass.
But he didn't seem to be such a stupid ass at all, as Bryan yelled in pleasure. "Fuck! More!! Put more in !!!!!"
Bob got another idk like maybe 5 hairbrushes and shoved them all in, one by one.
It's all gud n sessy but then Bryan noticed an unusual pain in his asshole and stomach - his stomach was ugly and bloated and deformed looking from all the hairbrushes going in, looking like an old fatass naked mole rat. (Wait a minute isn't he already one?) It was also ruptured from them. "Well" Bryan said. Bob and Bryan stood there like the dumb fucks they are trying to think of what to do. "Different hole?" Bryan says, bringing up another hair brush.