Lady Amalia: The Almost Queen [Star Wars | Obi Wan Kenobi]

Chapter 6

Even long after his ship had disappeared from sight, Neva stood on the Veranda, deep in thought as she looked out over the Capital. It was only when she heard Padmé approach that she pulled herself from her musings. Padmé had changed into a pair of cream pants and a light tan tunic complete with supportive belt and functional boots, obviously prepared for travel. Normally Neva would have been curious about what the Senator was up to, but she found that curiosity strangely absent. Padmé just stood, watching the Former Princess, meeting her gaze. Neva sighed heavily, breaking the silence.

"I'm sorry, Padmé, that I didn't tell you," Neva had paused, her hazel eyes shifting back to look out among the glittering spires and rushing speeders, "but I think you, of all people, can understand why I kept my silence." It was a long moment before Padmé responded, obviously weighing her words carefully.

"You love him," she said slowly, stating it rather than asking. There was no censure, just sympathy. Neva closed her eyes, commanding the threatening tears not to fall. She was still wearing the dark cloak she had worn for her errands. She pulled it tighter around herself, hugging herself close.

"Yes."

"Is it serious?" Neva turned her gaze back to the Senator, studying her for a moment.

"Not so serious as what you have with Anakin. Not nearly." Padmé blushed when Neva spoke, but she didn't lower her gaze in embarrassment. That gave Neva a small measure of comfort for some reason, though she couldn't explain why. "We spent a great deal of time together on Naboo before the Election. After I was—injured, our feelings for each other came out. While we have never denied their existence, we decided together that to act upon them would be wrong. He was a Jedi, I was still torn over whether or not to accept the Throne. And no matter how much we wanted to be together, we both knew we couldn't have a future, not with the vows and commitments we had already made. But our feelings never diminished. I have never stopped loving him." As she trailed off, Neva couldn't help but notice Padmé looking away, unable to keep the Former Princess's gaze. Neva frowned, but before she could question the shame written on Padmé's face the Senator looked up, struggling to put her thoughts into words.

"I said the same thing to Anakin once; that as a Jedi and a Senator we couldn't have a real future. It would destroy us, I said. But we decided that wasn't enough. What we felt was too strong to fight, and too precious to deny." Tears appeared in Padmé's eyes when she paused, and she almost wasn't able to continue. But she found her voice after a moment, though it was thick with emotion. "Now, I'm not so sure. His fear for me, for our baby; that has to be what's driven him to this. He was always talking about finding a way to save us, to save me from dying in childbirth. I'm scared that Anakin has been twisted, that the man I married isn't the man I fell in love with anymore." Neva's eyes widened in shock at Padmé's admission.

"Married?!" Neva didn't intend to let the exclamation slip, but she was so caught off guard by the revelation that she couldn't help it. Padmé nodded absently. They stood in silence for a moment, each one deep in thought. Neva turned, moving closer to her friend. She didn't presume to reach out to her, though. They both knew that the men they each loved were now enemies, and that one was very likely to cause the death of the other. It created a chasm between them that their friendship couldn't quite bridge.

"You're going after him, aren't you?" A flash of panic surfaced in Padmé's dark eyes at the former Princess' statement, but Neva continued before she could object. "I'm not going to run off and tell Obi-wan, Padmé, no matter how much I might be tempted. I know, just as you do, that when they face each other, only one is going to walk away from that fight. And we all know, Obi-wan included, that Anakin is the more powerful. We both know the odds." Sympathy spread across Padmé's features, but she knew better than to say anything, and for that Neva was thankful. One thing gnawed at her though, one thing she didn't quite understand. "But why?" At Neva's question, Padmé took a deep breath. She knew exactly what the former Princess meant. Neva saw it in her face that she wasn't entirely sure why she was going herself.