Daydreamer Moments (Book 2 in the daydreamer trilogy)

chapter 20

Chapter 20

I can’t tell if my eyes are open or closed. I am suffocated in blackness, I am no longer in pain but I am scared. I am alone and I can’t hear a sound, I feel as though I have gone deaf. I have even tried speaking myself but no sound escapes my lips. I can hear my voice in my head and I have tried to call out to anyone but no one is answering. I have no Idea how long I have been like this, I don’t think time exists here! I have started to panic a few times while I have been here, but when I do the darkness cloaks me like a soft cloud and I can’t help but feel better. Even though I am scared I know subconsciously there is nothing here that will harm me, I think my fear is the not knowing. Not knowing where I am, where Regan is, what happened, if everyone is okay. All these questions and more have been spinning around in my head since I awoke here. I have tried to move but it seems I am paralysed, it freaked me out at first, but it is actually quite comfortable, I am floating around endlessly and I don’t really want to leave, but I have to get back to Regan and the others.

“HELLO....ANYONE....CAN ANYONE HEAR ME!!!”

This has got to be the fiftieth time I have shouted out in my head and every time I am met with complete silence. I feel like crying, but then again even if I did I probably wouldn’t know I am doing it! Where the hell am I? I flinch as something starts to tickle my leg. What is that?

Looking around me I can't see anything. I sigh putting down to my imagination. As my heartbeat begins to rise of it's own accord I get a uneasy feeling.

Again the tickle appears on my right arm, it's the first thing I have felt since I have been hear but I can't make out what it is.

"Hello is there somebody there?"

A whisper of a breeze blows my hair making it tickle my back

“Hello...who is that?”

For some reason I feel Like I already know who is doing this but I can't figure out who it is supposed to be.

“Daddy?”

I say more like a question.

Why would it be my father, Jesus Christ I'm losing it!

This has got to be some kind of dream. Just as the thought enters my mind a bright flash brings my hold body into a spasm of noise, touch and emotion.

the blackness that once engulfed me and kept me safe has disappeared, and I fell like I falling. The fear returns as I see the red burning of those missing eyes, and me my body begins to move without my permission.

"please someone help me please!"

I beg as panic sets in and rises to near explosion...It stops! My body bounces as if on a bouncy castle, My nostrils fill with he smell of home baked bread my eyes  still cannot see but I can feel my body becoming warmer and feeling safe. I hear voices, hushed around me, someone is sobbing in the distance and I want to comfort them. A ear piercing scream surrounds me making bile rise from low down and burn my throat.

"Isabella......izzie!"

My eyes pop open and blurred figures appear above me, I squint trying to get my eyes to focus, I plead with my brain to allow me to see, they close again too quickly and I moan In frustration.

"she is too weak....i'm sorry.."

The noises fade and the smells and warmth disappear again until I am paralysed in darkness. My eyes burn with unshed tears. I was so close to seeing his face to feeling his touch. Regan, I need you.

"Izzie?.....where are you going?" My mind reels at the sound of my mothers voice. I tilt my head towards the sound of children playing. I see a light glow dimly in the distance amongst the blackness around me. I realise with a start that I am sat upon a bench, it's just floating as the light comes closer, or am I moving towards it? I don't know It all feels so surreal.

"Isabella come back here!"

My mothers voice breaks my concentration and I look further into the lights as it comes upon me and engulfs me with it's thick creamy glow. the bench I am sat on his the ground with an almighty bang and I reach out to steady myself, and automatically place a hand on my tummy, I panic as I search for my swollen bump that has been replaced with flatness, nothing. where is it. I look down and see I am no longer pregnant. My breathing peaks as my eyes fill and I sob. Where are my children? what is happening to me? I stare down at my trembling hands trying to figure out what went wrong. My mothers voice breaks through my sons again.

"Isabella why did you leave me?"

I look up through tear blurred eyes towards her voice. she is knelt to the ground and her back is too me, she about three foot away. I strain to see what she is doing, she is holding something...someone. I stand and slowly walk towards her. Feeling a saddened dull ach in my tummy where my children should be.

"Isabella please tell mummy what's wrong!"

I finally get close enough to see the little girl my mother is speaking to. My heart jumps to my throat as I see myself, my six year old self, tear stained face and bloodied knees. This is not a memory I have. The little girl looks up as I approach and smiles at me. It takes me by surprise because in dreams the people I see don't normally  see me. My mother turns to  see what her child is looking at and jumps with a  small squeak falling delicately onto her arse. the six year old me starts to giggle and my mother turns smiling at her too. I'm speechless. how can they both see me?

My mother stand brushing off lose strands of grass stuck to her dress and pick the little girl up holding her on the hip as she always did when we were kids. She smiles sheepishly at me and holds out her hand.

"Hello, my name is Mrs Stark and this is my daughter Isabella."

I stare down at my mothers hand dumbfounded. What the hell is going on here! I feel light headed as I reach out to shake my mothers hand I sway slightly, and concern etches my mothers face as she grasps a hold of my elbow.

"are you ok dear?. here why don't we sit down!"

She leads me to the bench I arrived here on and Six year old me climbs out of my mothers arms and clambers onto my lap, my mother begins to protest but I shake my head saying it is okay so she shrugs and shakes her head smiling. I embrace the child and allow her to place her head onto my shoulder where she promptly falls to sleep. this is so surreal!.

My mother sits staring at me for a while and looking into my eyes. she scrutinises me and a small grin appears on her face.

"I know why your here!"

The words she's spoken has me squirming in my seat and trying to readjust little Isabella as I find it hard to breath all of a sudden. My mother places a hand on my knee reassuringly and smiles her motherly smile.

"Don't be afraid Izzie there is a reason for everything!. you must not mention anything too me that would give me any information about my future or anyone else's I know, and you cannot tell me how you came to be here. but you being here means you need my help and I know exactly what I need to do so calm down dear!"

Her hand leaves my knee and she strokes my hair from my face. she smiles and stands telling me to follow her. I hook my hands under the child so I can carry her sleeping form wherever we are going. I notice then that we are in the gardens of my house but it all looks different. My mother leads me to the sliding doors leading into the lounge which is again familiar but also alien too me.

"Lay Isabella onto the couch Izzie and please follow me into your fathers study!"

My mother giggles at me as I lay the sleeping child onto the couch, my head spins again at weirdness of the situation. I follow my mother through the lounge into the great hall where a younger Marty passes us saying goo afternoon and nodding his head to my mother. He politely nods to me as I enter my dads study. This room does not look different. everything is in the exact same place as it always is and I watch closely as my mother unlocks my fathers safe. she reach's in searching endlessly though the unruly papers inside. she eventually lands on what she needs and turns with it in her hands.