“Isn’t it almost the twins’ birthday?” Jean asks. “Uh yeah?” Wyatt answers confused by her sudden interest. I zone out their little conversation, focused only on what the bitch has around her neck. After years of silence or so it feels, “Sarah that is a beautiful necklace.” I say staring only at her neck. “Thanks, my-uh your dad bought it for me. He gave it to me about a week ago, and I can’t seem to take it off. He had it specially made” She smiles admiring my father. I glance over at him, and he stares back at me with sympathy playing around in his eyes. I know that she has added that last part to cause me some pain, and let me tell you; it worked. “How strange, I have the same one.” I look back at her and wait for her to give me some smart ass remark, but instead she sits perfectly still. I can feel Marshall tensing, and tightening his grip around my waist. “Impossible, there is no other like this.” She finally answers, “Perhaps the jeweler or possibly my father has lied to you, because I can assure you, I too, received the same one; only a few hours ago. As an early birthday gift. Is it your birthday as well?” She takes in what I said, and seems to have lost her voice. I plead with her to answer me, “No it’s not till November 28th.” “Oh well, I guess it’s arrived early.” I hiss. I’m so mad, I’m beyond mad. I don’t mind he bought one for Sarah, or do I? No…yes. I don’t know, but the part that gets me is that she received it before me. Somehow, it signifies my ranking in my father’s heart. Why did I fall for it? Why did I think I was special? Just then Eli whispers, “Typical Eric.” My dad glares at him, “Last time I checked I was your father, you will call me dad.” he yells. “NO!” Eli answers, mathcing my father with the same amount of anger. My dad slams his hands on the table, startling everyone. Marshall is now hugging me, ensuring me he is still here. “Okay, so I bought one for Sarah as well. I love her too.”
“But dad the same one?” Wyatt asks. “You know Sophie loves starfish. Couldn’t you get Sarah I don’t know? A flower or you know nothing.” Ella says. Whoa? All my siblings’ backing me up and chewing my dad out, I suddenly feel happy, mad and sad all at once. Should I care that Sarah has the same set? I stand, struggling out of Marshall’s grasp, I walk over towards my dad, "Is hers engraved too?” I whisper as he closes his eyes, “Yes.” “What does it say?” I stare at her waiting for someone to answer me, “With all my love, dad.” Sarah answers. I close my eyes begging for the tears to not drop, I walk away and head to my room. I hear my family yelling at my father as he sits there silently. Why’d he have to give me the same one? I return back to the table, and as I do everyone goes silent, “You can have mine, it was not meant for me to begin with.” I start to walk out again, “Sweetie it’s for…” I cut him off not willing to hear what he has to say. “Don’t dad; I was stupid for trusting you. Believing all that shit about trying, thinking that I actually meant something to you. I thought for once in my life you didn’t lie to me, for once this time it would be different. Boy was I wrong. So congratulations, you’ve finally hurt me so much that I can’t even feel it anymore. I finally see how much I mean to you, I was an afterthought as always. But for some strange reason I thought I would at least be above of her kids, but I see now I’m nothing to you.” I let it all out, and as I do it’s too much to handle. The pain that builds in my chest is too much; I storm out and out the front door. How could I have played into his games? I walk and walk where should I go? If I go to anyone’s house my family will find me, and all I want is to be alone. I decide to go to the park just two blocks away. I sit on the swings and just let everything that happened today sink in. My heart aches as I think about the hurt that my father has caused me. The worst part is that I knew better, I knew better than to trust him. Truth is I wanted this time to be different. I wanted so bad to believe that this time was different. Now I know for sure that everything that Marshall has said about wanting me must be a lie. How could anyone want someone who is not even wanted my her own father? My phone starts to ring, but I just let it go. I turn my phone off to silent trying to ignore them further. I fiddle around on the playground just thinking and thinking. The wind picks up and I shiver, forgetting my jacket at home, I wrap my arms around myself. This coldness is getting too much to bear, I decide to check what time it is, holy shit. Its midnight! My family will flip! I start to walk across the park field when I hear someone yelling my name, “Sophie! Sophie is that you?” I turn to see Sadie running up towards me, I wait for her to catch up, “What the hell? Why didn’t you answer your phone? Eli is out driving looking for you!” Oh? I didn’t get any missed calls, at least I don’t think. I check my phone and yep, I got 15 missed calls, 25 unread texts, and 6 voicemails. Dammit, I call Eli, “Sophie! Where the fuck are you?!”
“Calm down, I’m safe and alive. I’m at the park I’ll be home in five minutes.” “No, wait your ass there, I’m coming to get you.” He hangs up without a word I wait for him at the park with Sadie. “What the fuck Soph! Don’t you ever do that to me again!” She yells, “I’m sorry I just needed to be alone for a while, I hadn’t realized it was so late.” We sit in silence and wait for my brother. We drop Sadie off, and we start to drive home. Eli has not spoken a word to me since our phone call, and there is so much tension between us, it scares me. He suddenly stops the car as we get to end of Sadie’s street. “What the fuck Sophie?” “What? “I whisper. “Why didn’t you answer your damn phone? We all had been worried!” I stare out the window, not finding the right words to explain why I did what I did. “Dammit Sophie! Answer me now! Why didn’t you answer the phone?” “I just needed space.” “Well fuck, could’ve called me or Marshall, he’s been worried sick about you!” Oh no….I didn’t want that. “Sophie you need to consider how other people feel!” I turn my attention to him, “Stop yelling at me!” “No! You need to understand how your actions and choices affect others.” A tear, escapes my eyes, I have to think about how I affect others? Yet I’m here trying to make something work that I wanted to give up, so that I wouldn’t be hurting other people’s feelings, well fuck this! “You mean how everyone considers my feelings? You guys told me to give him a chance, and I did! And look what happened? He didn’t hurt you, or Ella, or anyone else. He hurt ME! I’m the one who always ends up getting shit on, when everyone else gets the perfect father. Just…fuck off!” I storm out of the car and start to walk up the street. Eli follows me and starts running to keep up. “Sophie, get in the car. We’re going home. Now. Please.” I keep walking, “No. Go home.” “Sophie, please look I’m sorry. I was just worried. You’re my baby sister, who was out, late at night, and who wouldn’t answer her phone. Please, I’m sorry.” “Fine” I stomp off to the car and wait for him to join me. He starts the car and we start to drive off. “You should call Marshall. He didn’t want to leave till you came home. I finally got him to leave, when I told him I was picking you up. You should call him. He really does care about you. I approve.” He laughs and gives me a small smile. That’s really sweet, he really does care, “Glad to hear that you approve.” He chuckles, well no one will ever be good enough for my sisters, but he’ll have to do for now.” I gasp, and he laughs even louder. “I’m sorry I didn’t call, I just needed to get away for a while.” He nods and we finally arrive at home. “Is mom mad?” he nods and ushers me in the house. As soon as I enter, my mom yells for me. “Sophie? Is that you? Get your ass in here now!” I walk over to where I hear her voice; she’s sitting on the dining room table. “Yes. Mom?” “Don’t you ever do that to me again!” “Mom-” I shut my mouth and just nod. The look on her eyes looks of pure anger and worry, and I do not want to test her. “I’m sorry mom; I didn’t mean to worry you. I just needed space to think and just be…by myself for a while.” “Next time please answer your phone.” I nod and she grabs me and holds me tight. “I’m so sorry sweetie, why didn’t tell me about Eric’s gift?” She still holds me tight; I let out a sob still full of hurt, “I don’t know. I thought it was a nice surprise. I didn’t want to ruin it, till my birthday.” She lets me go, to look into my eyes, “I’m so sorry honey. I’m glad you’re back home and safe. We should get some sleep.” I look at the clock, whoa…2 am. “I have to call Marshall.” “Tomorrow it’s late. He was really worried about you, I thought it was sweet.” She smiles and leads me to my room. “I know mom, I heard. He’s a really good guy. I’ll call him tomorrow. Goodnight mom.” I lay in bed thinking about what I put my family through, and how much I regret worrying them. I grab my phone, and view all the notifications of missed calls text messages, and voice mails. I really should call him, but right now it’s too late and I’m too tired. Mom is right, this can wait till tomorrow.
~I'm walking hand in hand with Marshall smiling as we walk through a field full of daisy's. I let got his hand
