Butterfly Effect

Untitled Part 9

January 13, 2015

Mark just got back from Taiwan last week and I couldn't be more excited for today, to be honest. Today is the day; the day that I will answer his long-awaited question. Yes, Mark. I would like to be your boyfriend. I would like to be the reason why you smile every day. I would like to be the reason why you wake up in the morning. I want to be the reason why you sleep peacefully at night. I want to be your everything as you are my everything. I would like to apologize for making you wait this long. I would like to apologize for being such a huge weight for you. I know that taking care of me is a handful but you still continue to do so.

Thank you so much for being my sunshine and my happy pill. Thank you for always being there for me as my best friend and now, as my boyfriend. I want you to know that you helped me get better; you helped me find sense in this stupid world. You are perfectly imperfect and I really love you so much.

JB hyung told me that Galbitang is your favorite food; something that weirdly you didn't share with me since you tell me almost everything. I'm cooking Galbitang at the moment and I decided to write you this letter while waiting for the Galbitang to cook. I hope you will like my gift to you when we see each other later today; you invited me after all. It's right that I should give you a gift as a return; also, it's like homecoming present.

I felt so touched that you decided to see me immediately the moment you came back to Korea. I'm practically melting in happiness. I know you consider me as your boyfriend already but (I'm cringing as I write this, Mark ohmygod) now you can really consider me as your boyfriend. Haaaaaaa... I'm so out of my mind. I'm so sorry. I'm just so happy, my handwriting is getting messier!

I have to go now, Mark. Galbitang is almost cooked. I'll see you later.

I'll write again soon.

Jinyoung

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I stirred in my sleep, realizing I was alone in my room. I grabbed my phone from the side table and checked the time, 12:54pm. JB hyung must've gone out for lunch. I put my phone back and lied down again, the pillows are slightly wet; oh right, I cried myself to sleep.

I can feel my tears resurfacing again. Is that really Mark? Is he really alive? Or maybe I'm assuming again and this is not really Mark. Mark was a little tanned, not as pale as porcelain. The Mark I saw today was quite taller than the Mark I've known. But there's a part of me saying that that was Mark. He was right there in front of me, and he doesn't know me at all.

My eyes felt really painful, I must've cried a long time a while ago I can't remember clearly. I closed my eyes, but didn't sleep. I just want to get rid of the pain in my eyes. It also gave me a chance to think, to think this through, and to think about all of the things that's been happening lately. I sighed as my tears flow through my eyes. I was reminded again of what happened earlier. My heart jumped for joy when it saw Mark but it broke into a million pieces when he said that he couldn't remember me. There's nothing I could do.

I felt my stomach grumble. I'm hungry as fuck. I grabbed my phone again and called JB hyung; he answered after three rings.

"Jinyoung-ah."

"Hyung, can you uhm..."

"Get you some food? He laughed. "I'm at the stairs now, Jinyoung. I got you jjajangmyeon." Ah!