Downpoured(BoyxBoy)

Chapter Ten: I'm Still Here

Chapter Ten

A week has passed since the locker room 'incident'. A week full of torture that is. Jared barley breathed in my general direction and the rumors about me were still very much alive.
You would think that after so much time, they would have let up. Despite it all the situation between Jared and I is far more important to me.

Although, I haven't tried to talk to him and he hasn't tried to talk to me.
It wasn't just strange not taking to my best friend, it was down right heart breaking.

I've been avoiding Dylan and Alex like the plague. Just thinking about them made me feel guilty so I avoided them at all costs. I can tell it hurt Alex's feelings, but that really isn't my concern at this point.

Everyday I'd walk by Jared in the halls, or see him in class and at practice. It killed me to not be at his side. We were always together, fooling around. The other guys had taken notice of the standoffish behavior we have towards each other.

I could tell they wanted to know, but they didn't dare ask. I've been quite moody this week, scaring off anyone who tried to bother me. One death glare was enough for anyone to turn away and leave. Even Dylan was sent running after he had tried to approach me a few days ago.

I wasn't having it.

It was clear that I was trying to push down all my emotions and replace them with anger. Something I am notorious for. For the first time since before Jared, I felt alone. When other people annoyed me, he was always there to make up for it all.

The bell rang loudly, ending my inner trip through endless sorrow. I got up feeling numb and made my way over to the canteen. I hadn't been eating very well, but I figured I should at least try to take care of myself.

I walked by the vending machines where Jared was getting his usual snack. I couldn't help but pause and stare at him. I could see the bags under his eyes and it looked as if he'd slept in the clothing he was wearing.

I felt a pang in my chest. Jared looked about as shitty as I felt. I knew it was all my fault. I continue to stare at him with sad eyes. Before I could look away his emotionless gaze meets mine. We stare for what feels like an eternity before he tears his eyes away and makes his exit.

He hates me.

After pushing my sadness away, I finally managed to grab some food. I looked over at my usual table and longed to sit by Jared who was slouched in the chair next to Chuck. I knew that if I sat there, he would just get up and leave.

I didn't want to cause a scene and I definitely didn't want to bother him. Some of the guys notice me and shoot me half ass grins. They knew I wasn't going to sit with them and I could tell they were dying to know why.

I kept on walking until I was outside. I sat down by one of the trees and unwrapped my turkey sandwich. It wasn't the best, but considering I hadn't eaten in two days, it would have to do.

After I nearly devoured my lunch I got up to walk back into the cafeteria. I'm not gonna lie and say I didn't want to catch another glimpse of Jared. He was still sitting at the table and it looked like he was trying really hard to keep up with their conversation. I just wanted to go over and save him.

Did I make a mistake? Was our friendship over? My heart hurt at the thought. I shook off that crazy notion. I wouldn't let this be the end. We would get back to how it was, we just had to. But would Jared just want to be my friend?