Broken

chapter 18

Louis' POV
I opened the door to the flat and Harry followed me inside. I walked past the boys and into the kitchen. I threw the leftovers of Harry's breakfast away. Harry had taken two, insanely small, bites of his breakfast sandwich. Well, he took two bites of the egg and cheese. He had refused to eat any of the sausage patty or the bread. I grabbed an ensure from the fridge and a cup from the cupboard. I poured all but an ounce or two into the cup. I know, it's a little weird that I didn't just give Harry the entire ensure, but this way I can tell harry it's not an entire ensure since he ate two bites of egg. Placing the, almost empty, bottle back in the fridge I walked back to the living room and handed it to Harry, wh0 was now sitting on the couch with Niall and Liam. I sat down in a chair, opposite of Zayn, and waited for Harry to drink it.
"What is that?" Niall asked, looking confused.
"It's ensure," I told him.
"Okay, but what's it for?" He was, obviously, still confused.
"It's a drink that's supposed to give a person who can't, or won't, eat all the nutrients they need in a meal," Liam explained.
"I see," Niall nodded, "how's it taste Harry?"
Harry, who was slowly drinking his ensure, shrugged, "it's pretty good. It's not too heavy so that's nice."
"Do you think you'll be able to keep it down?" Zayn asked.
"I...don't know. I think I can keep it down, but I-I'm scared to," he mumbled.
"Why are you scared to?" Gosh Niall is clueless.
"Ana," Harry whispered, but we all caught it.
"Oh Harry," I frowned, watching his eyes well up with tears, "come sit with me."
I scooted over to the edge of the chair, although I didn't need to considering how small Harry was. Harry fidgeted on the couch and shook his head.
"Why not?" I asked.
"I'm too big," he frowned, "I won't fit in that spot."
"Harry we could fit two of you in that spot," I sighed, "now come sit with me."
"Okay," Harry gave in.
He got up and, after stumbling slightly from what I assume was dizziness, walked over to me. He sat down in the chair and my eyes widened when I saw that we really could have fit two of him in that spot. I wrapped my arm around him and checked his cup. He was about half way done, which made me smile. Harry snuggled closer to me and looked me in the eyes.
"Louis?"
"Yeah Harry?"
"Will you still be my friend when I reach the weight the doctor wants me at?" He asked nervously.
"Of course I will Harry," I smiled, "a but I do have to say that you looked so much better and healthier at 160 than you do now."
"What do I look like now?" He frowned, "All I see is fat."
"Harry," I said, "you have absolutely no fat on you. Your ribs stick out painfully, as does your spine. Your hipbones are so visible and sharp looking I'm shocked they haven't pierced open your skin. Every bone in your body is visible and it's so scary."
"I wish I could see it," he sighed, "it would be so much easier to recover if I could see that I was sick."
"Harry?" Liam asked, "Do you know you're sick? I mean I understand you can't see it, but can you feel that you're sick?"
"Yeah," Harry sighed, "I know that a person shouldn't be this dizzy, their hair shouldn't be so brittle, and it's not normal to be so afraid of food and gaining weight. It's just hard because even though I know it's not normal Ana is always trying to convince me that I'm fine and everyone who wants to help me really just wants to ruin me."
"Wow," Zayn said, "that's insane."
"So you really are afraid of food?" Niall asked, looking as though that was the most shocking thing he'd ever heard.
"Yeah," Harry said, "Ana pretty much has me convinced that food is the enemy. I really hate having to eat. This is just so hard."
"It's ok harry were all here to help you no matter what." Suddenly the for bell rang
.We all got up and went to the door. Liam opened it to reveal Paul. He smiled and we all said our greetings, before going out the flat and heading to the interview.
Harry's POV
(Skipping to the boys getting ready for their interview)
Walking out of the bathroom I walked over to where Lou was doing Louis' hair. I looked down at my clothes, somehow they always managed to have the clothes in my size even with the weight I kept losing. Today I was wearing a pair of black jeans and a black shirt with a blazer. It looked nice, but I was absolutely freezing.
"Harry are you alright? You're shaking," Lou frowned.
"I'm alright, just cold is all," I said.
She gave me a strange look and motioned for me to sit down so she could do my hair. I looked next to me and saw Louis sitting and watching me.


"it's quite warm in here," Lou said, "how are you cold?"
"I just am. I think it's quite freezing," I said.
Lou opened her mouth to respond, but suddenly gasped. I looked her way and noticed she was holding a rather large clump of my hair in her hand.
"I thought that when this happened last time it was a one time thing. Obviously not, so explain now," Lou said, with a very stern, but maternal, tone.
"I, um, I. Louis?" I stuttered.
Lou looked at Louis, waiting for an explanation, as she continued working with my thin hair.
"Can I tell her Haz?" He asked.
"I guess she's going to have to know eventually," I sighed, "go ahead Louis."
"Okay," Louis said, "Lou do you remember when you suggested that Harry might have anorexia?"
"Yes I do," she said.
"Well, Harry went to the hospital yesterday because he passed out while on the treadmill-"
"Why was I not told about that?"
"We didn't tell anyone about it," I said.
"Well you're going to have to eventually," Lou said, "anyway continue."
"While at the hospital the doctor told us some very important information about Harry's health. I won't go into detail right now, but basically the doctor diagnosed Harry with Anorexia Nervosa," Louis told her.
It was silent for a moment, but then.
"What. What did you just say?"
"I was diagnosed with Anorexia Lou," I said.
"Oh Harry," Lou choked, "I honestly knew you had it, but that doesn't mean it's not shocking to hear it. What's your treatment plan?"
"3 meals a day, 2 snacks, and only 30 minutes of exercise provided he eats those meals," Louis said, "once a week weigh ins and vitals at the doctor. If he loses any more weight he has to be admitted to the hospital. Oh, and if he refuses to eat he has to drink an ensure."
"And has he been following those instructions?" She asked.
"Um, he ate dinner last night although he did throw up. He didn't do that purposely, but it still happened. As for this morning he took two bites, if they even qualify as bites since they were so small, of egg with cheese. Then he drank an ensure," Louis said.
"It wasn't a whole ensure though, right?" I asked.
"No. I left an ounce or two in the bottle since you ate a tiny bit of egg."
"Good," I sighed.
"Well, I'm glad he at least has something in his stomach right now," Lou smiled, "he didn't throw up the ensure, did he?"
"I'm not sure," Louis frowned, "did you throw up the ensure when you were in the bathroom, Haz?"
"No I didn't," I mumbled, "but I wish I had."
"You poor thing," Lou frowned, giving me a hug.
"Boys it's time for the interview," Paul said and I gave Lou one last smile before following the boys out of the room and onto the stage.
We sat on the couch and the interviewer, Tony, smiled at us. He welcomed us to the interview and began firing away questions. Most of the questions were ones we had heard before. What was it like on our previous tour? Did we have any more coming up? Were wecurrently working on a new album? We answered every question and then Tony asked a question that left me frozen in shock.
"So Harry, we've seen a lot of photos of you're, obviously dramatic, weight loss on twitter as well as many other places. A lot of fans have been posting about you battling Anorexia. Would you care to put an end to or confirm the rumors?"