"Greg?" Niall says barely above a whisper. He can't wrap his head around the fact that Greg is actually calling him.
"Yeah, baby bro. It's me," he answers back, Niall could hear the smile in his voice and he just breaks down. More tears, heavier and thicker run down his cheeks as he listens to the sound of his brother's breathing. "It's so nice to hear you're voice, Ni."
And Niall hiccups, making Greg jump, "Niall you okay bud?" He asks clutching his phone tighter in his hand.
"I'm sorry Greg" he whispers into the phone falling to his knees with sobs echoing through the phone into Greg's ear.
"Niall, buddy, what are you sorry for? There's no need to be sorry. Don't be sorry little brother." He tries to sooth, speaking in a calming and soft voice.
"I'm sorry I didn't even try to be strong. It just consumed me I couldn't take it Greg. I'm so sorry. I'm a horrible brother. I'm so selfish. You're in the army for fuck sake you shouldn't be worrying about me. This is stupid. I'm so stupid. So so stupid. I'm pathetic. I'm so sorry you got stuck with such a pathetic, worthless shit of a brother." He squeals with pure hatred lacing his voice.
"Niall you are most definitely not a horrible brother. You are strong. You're so strong. You've been strong for so long, buddy. It's okay to screw up. It happens. Don't blame yourself, Ni. It's okay. I forgive you. It's okay. You're not selfish, you're very brave for telling me, Niall. I'm really proud of you. So so proud. I wouldn't ever ask to have a different brother. You're perfect to me, you're more than I ever asked for. You're flawed but in a good way, Ni. There's nothing wrong with you. I promise buddy."
"I wish you were here,Greg..." Niall whispers sadly into the phone he clutched so tight he thought it might just break from the pressure.
"Me too, buddy. I miss you." Greg simply replies, sorrow in his eyes.
"You've been away for way too long, it's unbearable," Niall says with a sniffle.
"That's one of the reasons I called," he pauses before chuckling with excitement. "I'm coming home. For a little while that is. Then I'll be off again for two months but then I'm done, Ni, I'm gonna be done with the army in two months. Ill never leave you again after that."
"What?!" Niall yells at the top of his lungs. Now tears of excitement, happiness and relief fall. His previous endeavours completely forgotten, too wrapped up with the idea of seeing his brother in the flesh and not just the image he has in his wallet. "Are you joking? You're coming home?" He screams, piercing his own ears.
Greg laughs loudly and it's heaven to Niall's ears just to hear him laugh. "I'm really coming home, Niall. Ill be home in two weeks. And I'll be staying for a couple weeks. So I'll visit mum and dad first then I'm coming with you on tour for a week. I'm so excited, I even talked to management about it already. I can't wait to see you, Ni." Greg finishes with a whisper, his excitement so prominent it physically pained Niall. Greg shouldn't be excited to see him, he's gotten so fat. He'll be so disappointed in him. But he doesn't let Greg hear his fear so he just nods vigorously and repeats 'me too, me too.' Over and over again.
"So how's the tour life treating you, little bro?" Greg asks.
"It's not too bad, I suppose. It's been... Hard. The past couple weeks. But I'm getting by. It's all worth it in the end, it's great being on stage. It's the highlight of my days." He explains laying on his back wiping some of the still spilling blood from his side.
"When did it start up again?" And Niall knew exactly what he meant.
"Few weeks ago. Started having nightmares. And then the memories came pouring in and then the voices came back." He states simply, a slight hitch to his voice.
Greg doesn't say anything for a long while, the only sound passing between them is the scratch of the line and their synced breathing.
"What are the nightmares about Niall?"
"Being fat."
"How much sleep have you gotten in the past few days?"
He knew that answer very well because it wasn't a very large number, "Two."
"What time is it there, Niall?" His brotherly tone appearing out of the blue.
"Three thirty in the morning. I don't want you to go though. I'm not tired. I won't sleep. Don't go." Niall begged near tears again.
"I'm not going anywhere Niall. I just want you to get enough sleep. It's not very healthy."
"Nothing I'm doing is very healthy, Greg."
"I know buddy. I know."
They talk for what seems like hours, at some point they get so excited and loud that Zayn knocks on the door and tells him very rudely to shut the hell up.
Niall wishes the conversation doesn't end but when 7:30 roles around and he hasn't gotten an ounce of sleep he feels like he should be worried. But he's not.
"Why haven't you had to leave yet?" Niall asks curiously.
"Because. I'm at the hospital. There was an explosion, my mate's not doing so well. They say he's gonna be fine but I got this feeling, ya know?"
"Oh Greg, I'm so sorry! Are you okay?" Niall asks seriously.
"Yeah, yeah I'm fine. I wasn't there. But they said I could watch over him at the hospital. He doesn't have family and it'd probably be nice to wake up to a familiar face, " Greg's mood seemed to have taken a fall but Niall wasn't prepared to see him sad or upset so he tried to change the subject.
"So you said there was more than one reason you called. What's the other one?"
"Something was telling me you weren't okay, and I was right." Niall smiled.
"You're always here for me. I'm so lucky to have you," a single tear trickles down Niall's face but this time he has a genuine smile on his face.
"No, I'm lucky to have you," they both sit there smiling at their phones for a while in comfortable silence until a loud beeping noise emits from Greg's end of the phone.
"Greg? Everything okay?"
"Yeah yeah, Ni I gotta go though. Sam's waking up."
"Oh okay, I hope he gets better soon," Niall says a bit colder than he intended.
"Thank you Niall. Oh and Niall?"
"Yeah?"
"Go have some breakfast, please?"
And then the line goes dead and Niall's alone again. He didn't even realize he'd forgotten about all those horrible, horrible things he'd thought and done a few hours before, before he actually got up and noticed the blood stained on the bathroom floor.
He cringed but made his way to the bathroom none the less, preparing himself to clean the gory mess. He didn't know he'd bleed so profusely until now.
There were small pools of blood all around the bathroom, thankfully though there was no carpeting in there.
Just as his knees hit the floor, cloth in hand a knock comes at the door. He turns and stares at it intensely.
"Niall are you up?" Louis's groggy voice travels through the door to his ears.
"Yes. Ill be out in a bit I need to take a shower." He answers dryly.
"We need to talk to you. We're coming in okay?"
"What?! NO!"
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Behind Closed Doors *Narry*
Fanfiction"It's times like these that I wish I was old enough to grab a pair of shoes, and a thin coat and run away. Run into the night, arms flailing. I would pretend I was flying, or falling and my heart would beat fast and hard against my ribs and I would...
