Behind Closed Doors *Narry*

Chapter 24

Light had begun to seep it's way through the curtains into the little room, splaying rays of light across Niall's porcelain skin. As the first signs of day peaked through the window Niall awoke feeling slightly more refreshed than he'd felt the day before. Although sleep had come to him very late in the night and maybe early morning he felt as if his rest had been the best he'd had in forever. He figured it had something to do with the pair of arms that were strongly encricled around his waist. It was much too early for Harry to be awake yet and he didn't wish to wake him so he stayed cuddled into the bed with the boy he loved until day had fully blossomed. 

Niall was pleasantly surprised when soft lips pressed against the back of his neck. Warm and smooth against cold skin. Harry's hands slowly rose from their place around his waist and made their way to Niall's chest where they stayed, spread out. Harry used this to his advantage, pressing his palms into his chest and pressing his body closer to Niall's. Niall was too caught up in the warmth that Harry's body emitted against his that he didn't realize the soft hum he let escape his lips. 

"Good morning, love," Harry mumbled against Niall's back. He could still feel his lips, could still feel the warm moist skin pressed against him. Niall merely hummed back in response. He could feel himself slowly slipping back into unconsciousness. It was the first time in a long time that he didn't have a care in the world, didn't feel like he was misplaced, like he didn't belong. He did belong. This was where he'd always belonged. In Harry's arms. 

"Can I ask you something?" Harry's rumbling, raspy morning voice kept him from falling asleep once again. 

"Sure, anything," Niall replied, smooth irish accent heavy in the early hour.

"Why didn't you tell me before?" Harry's voice sounded strained like he felt odd asking such a personal question. 

"Why didn't I tell you what?" Niall's voice had gotten lower than a whisper, he suddenly felt small and insecure under the scruntiny of Harry's gaze on the back of his head. 

"That you loved me." Harry coughed awkwardly, like he was embarrassed to be asking such a question. Niall wondered if it bothered him to seem so vulnerable. "I mean I understand why you didn't, I couldn't either. I was scared. I was scared people were going to judge me because I liked men, but that was stupid. And then I fell in love with you and I couldn't for the life of me understand what I was so afraid of. When I fell in love with you I knew right away that I wanted to show you off to the world and no amount of fear could stop me. Except well the fact that maybe you didn't love me. And then thats what I was afraid of. That you didn't love me because why would you love me if you could have anyone else in the world? I'm just your dumb band mate.That's why I never told you before now, I was scared you'd reject me and I couldn't bare the thought."

Niall slowly turned around in Harry's arms to face him so he could peer up into the boy's eyes as they spoke. "Have you been thinking about this all night, Harry?" Harry timidly nodded his head, eyes cast down. "You have to understand that I wasn't in the right frame of mind back then, when we were on tour. Whenever I thought about you I would always end up upset, I would break down, I would have panic attacks. I'd always imagine what it would be like to be with you, how much happier I'd be if we had been together. Night after night and day after day the little voice in my head would remind me why you would never want me. I hated myself that much that I couldn't let myself believe I deserved to be loved by someone as special as you. And I still do. I still hate myself. I still can't believe you actually love someone as broken and useless as me. Thats why I didn't tell you, because I didn't believe I deserved you and I still don't but I can't bring myself to let you go." Niall had closed his eyes so he couldn't look at the pain that crossed Harry's face. Harry was shocked, he'd never seen Niall express himself so much as he had now. He was overpowered by the trust Niall was putting in him to express some of the feelings and thoughts he'd never told anyone else about. 

A thumb brushed the lone tear off Niall's cheek as it made it's way down his flushed face. "You don't have to ever let me go, Niall." Niall slowly opened his eyes and piercing blue locked with emerald green. For a moment that's all there was. "I'm sorry I brought such a sensitive topic up so soon after you've returned from the hospital, it's inconsiderate on my part and I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable. But I'm so glad you trusted me enough to tell me that, and I love you no matter what. And you know something? You could do so much better than me and I'm so, so lucky you sentled for someone like me. I feel honored to be loved by you."

Niall closed his eyes again, leaning his head lightly against Harry's chest breathing in his oh so familiar scent. "I love you so much, Harry."

"I love you too, Niall," breathed Harry into Niall's soft blonde locks. "Can I ask you one more thing?" He murmured biting nervously at his bottom lip.

"Hmm?" Niall was nearly out cold, for the second time in the last ten minutes as Harry began asking his final question.

"Will you be my boyfriend?" When an answer didn't come right away he began to ramble loudly, fear bubbling up out of him, "I mean if it's too soon for that, thats cool, I mean no pressure or anything..."

"Yes."

"What?"

"Yes, I'll be your boyfriend. If you'll be mine?"

"Of course." Harry replied, settling down leaning down to peck Niall quickly on his parted lips. Before he could utter another word the blonde boy was already off in dreamland.

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