Young Blood

Chapter 11: What is love?

Love: (noun) an intense feeling of deep affection.

                                or

             (verb) feel a deep romantic or sexual attachment to (someone).

Gunner loves me? How could he love someone like me? I've been nothing but a bitch to him and he loves me. He is suppose to be the cruel Alpha and what does that make me? Especially since I don't love him? It makes me a complete heartless bitch. 

I guess I'm just scared of hurting him and by trying not to love him I'm being a huge bitch and hurting him even more! But I don't even know how to love someone. Sure I loved my family and Keely but after my dad killed my mom I just kinda turned my emotions off and look where that got me. Sitting alone in my mates room after he told me he loved me right after I said I don't love him.

Ugh I just don't know what to do!

I get up and walk back to my room and grab my phone, I'm sure Keely could help me.

"Hello?" I hear her say with a yawn.

"Hey, it's Ash." I say on the verge of tears.

"Oh my god Ash whats wrong?" She says suddenly sounding completely awake.

"So I was going to mark Gunner tonight and right before I was going to do it he asked me if I love him and I basically said no, then he got all mad and said he loved me and I can't mark him until I love him." I sobbed into the phone.

"Oh my god Ash that sounds horrible!" She says and I can hear the sorrow in her voice.

"I don't know what to do." I say between sobs. "Tonight was going great and I bonded to his pack and I'm officially Luna now then he just had to ask me and I'm an honest person so I answered honestly and I just fucked everything up!" I continue to cry.

"Why don't you love him?" She asks suddenly.

"I don't know," I sniffle. " I think I'm just scared of hurting him like my dad did to my mom and I don't really know how to love someone." I hiccup. 

"Tell him that, tell him your trying to learn how to love and not just care about him because of the mate attraction. Tell him you want to be more than just mates." 

"Don't all mates want to be more than just mates." I laugh.

"Most of the time yes, but still tell him that." She laughs.

"Okay, thanks Keely." 

"No prob Ash." She says then we say our goodbyes and I know what I need to do now.

I need to tell Gunner I don't know how to love and I need him to teach me.

'We need to talk.' I mind link him.

'I don't think we should talk.' He replies.

'But we need to, I have some stuff I need to tell you.'

'Maybe tomorrow.'

'No right now!' I yell through mind link.

'I'm busy.'

'Don't be a little bitch.' I laugh.

'I'm not being a little bitch!' He replies all defensive.

'Then come to me and I'll know your'e not a little bitch.' I reply.

'Fine, I'll be at my place in five.' He says before shutting off our  mind link.

I quickly walk into my bathroom and cringe, I look like a hot mess. I quickly take off my dress and put on some booty shorts and a tank top then take off all my makeup, but then I feel too naked so I quickly put on some eyeliner and mascara.

"Fire?" I hear Gunner call from downstairs.

"I'm here!" I say quickly as I run down to the living room.

"So you wanted to talk?" He says as he plops down on the couch.

"Um, yeah." I laugh nervously. "I did some thinking and the best I can describe things is I don't know how to love." I say and he just rolls his eyes. "I wanna feel more than just our mate attraction toward you and I just don't know how to, I wanna be more than just your mate." 

"Your'e more than my mate your'e the Luna of my fucking pack." He says annoyed.

"But I wanna be so much more to you and you to me and I don't know how, so what I'm saying is I need you to teach me."

"Well you have a lot to learn Fire but I guess I have to teach you given you're my mate."

"Thank you!" I yell as I run and jump into his lap attacking him with kisses.

"That's called affection." He laughs as he kisses my forehead and just holds me.