Remember Me.

04

I quietly close the door and make myself comfortable in the large chair. I grab a pillow and blanket and close my eyes, hoping for a little bit of sleep.
Right as I feel myself drifting away, I hear Patrick.
"Ellen?" he croaks. I open my eyes and quickly sit up and grab his hand.
"Patrick." I say, tears running down my cheeks.
"Have the doctors came yet? Are my legs okay?" he asks.
"Uhm, Patrick. Jill...Jill is divorcing you." I say quietly. He nods, tears running down his cheeks. "I'm so sorry Patty. She's a bitch. I don't know how she could give up a man like you. Every woman in the world would do anything to be with you. You know that-"
"Ellen please. Just...just give me a minute."
He stares at the ceiling and I sit and wait patiently. I memorize every part of him. The way his hands feel in mine.
The way they have changed, somehow rougher than before. Probably from how hard he has been working out. His muscles are large than before, his stomach harder.
He looks at me and I blush.
"Patrick, everything will be alright." He nods and stares at me.
"Have the doctors..." he trails off. I nod slightly and look at my hand.
"Is it bad?" he asks. I continue to look down.
"You...you're paraplegic." I whisper.
"How..how am I supposed to live?" he asks.
"How am I going to do anything? Everything I do...I can't act. I can't race. I can't work out. I...how do I..I can't." He stops and begins to cry a heartbreaking cry that over never heard come from him. It was a cry that comes from his soul. It was a cry that had the power to effectively crush me.
I wait painfully for his sobs to die down. I stroke back his hair from his bandage and watch as he cries himself into a deep slumber. I continue to stroke his hair and hold his hand as I watch him sleep.
My eyes burn with the need of sleep but I force them to stay open. I need to be awake for Patrick if he needs me. I get up and grab a cup of water to keep me awake.
"Ellen? Ellen."
I open my eyes and look around, confused by my surroundings. And then I see Patrick and I quickly stand up, remembering what happened to him.
"Patrick. What can I do for you?" I ask.
"I...hurt." he says. I quickly press the nurse button and a nurse walks through the door.
"He's in pain." I tell her. She nods and walks to one of the wires that is connected to him. She injects something into him and his heart rate begins to go back to normal.
"He may fall asleep soon. The morphine usually knocks people out." she says. I nod.
She walks out and I turn to Patrick who is sweating.
"Are you alright now?" I ask. He nods. I grab a towel and and wipe the sweat from his head.
"How am I going to survive this?" he asks.
"I'll be right by your side the entire time. We will survive this because we have each other." I tell him.
He smiles before drifting off to sleep. I walk out and call Chris.
"Hello?" he answers.
"Chris. We need to talk."
"Yeah. We do. I'll swing by later if that's alright." he asks.
"Yes. Thank you."
"What room?"
"117."
"Okay." he says, before hanging up. I slide the phone into my pocket and walk back into his room. I fall asleep on the uncomfortable chair.
A knocking on the door wakes me up and I quickly stand to get it before Patrick wakes up.
Chris is standing there and I close the door behind me.
"Hi." I say.
"Hey. How's he doing?" he asks, pointing at the room.
"Not good. At all. He..he's paraplegic."
"I'm not sure what that means." he says.
"He is paralyzed from the waste down due to his spinal injury." Chris pulls me in for a hug which I gladly accept. I've been holding everything in, trying to stay strong for Patrick. But now that someone is comforting me, I fall apart.
I sob in the middle of the hallway, not caring who can see me. I'm sure people are staring.
"What did you want to talk about?" he asks. I step back and look away, wiping my eyes.
"Chris. I...I..."
"You want to break up?" he asks.
"Yes." I say guiltily.
"I figured. We haven't been ourselves for a long time." I nod and look up at him.
"Goodbye Ellen." he says, walking away. I stand there in shock for a few minutes.
"Code blue! We've got a code blue in room 117." I turn around when I hear this number.
117. Patrick.
I run to his room and push my way in.
"I need a crash cart!"
"Ma'am you can't be in here." a nurse says. They try to push me out but I fight back.
"No! You can't. Patrick! Patrick wake up!" I shout.
"Charge to 300. Clear!"
I watch his body seize up when they shock him. His heart flatlined again.
"Push one of epinephrine. Charge to 360. Clear!"
His body jolts up from the bed again. Everyone's eyes focus on the heart monitor, waiting.