Remember Me.

12

My eyes open slowly and I stretch my arms above my head. I look around and see Patrick sleeping soundly beside me. I prop myself up on my elbow and watch him dream.
After a few seconds, I realize he is sweating and shivering. I feel his forehead and notice that he's burning up.
"Patrick?" I ask. I get out of bed and grab the thermometer along with some of his medication.
"Patrick. Wake up." I say softly. He opens his eyes and groans as he shivers violently.
"I need to take your temperature." I tell him, sticking the thermometer in his mouth. I fill up his glass of water while waiting for his temp. I place the water beside his bed along with his pills.
The device beeps and I read the numbers.
"103.2?! Patrick you're burning up! We need to get you to the hospital." I hear the door open downstairs and check my watch. It's Peter.
"Peter, we're up here." I shout. I hear footsteps walking up the stairs and into the room.
"Peter his temp is 103.2. What do I do?" I ask, panicked.
"103? Ellen why haven't you given him anything? He needs to go to the hospital." Peter says.
"I just woke up! I have him his usual meds."
"No he needs something stronger." Peter racks through the cabinet and pulls out a needle and syringe and injects Patrick with something.
"Help me get him to his chair." he says. I put Patrick's arm around my shoulder and we pick him up and place him in his chair.
Peter wheels him into the elevator while I pack a bag for me and Patrick. I grab some snacks and clothes as well as a blanket.
I run down the stairs and out the door where Patrick and Peter are. Peter is in the driver's seat and I sit in the back with Patrick. I grab his hand and hold it tightly.
"You're fine. You're fine." I repeat. He looks at me tiredly, sweat still covering his body.
"It's probably pneumonia. I've seen it plenty of times with paraplegics and quadriplegics. He'll be alright." Peter says from the front. I nod and look at Patrick worriedly.
We arrive at the hospital and multiple doctors rush out to meet us at the van. Peter must have called or texted someone letting them know. Patrick is unloaded from the van and lifted onto a gurney, my hand still attached to his.
They wheel him into a private room and begin to attach him to multiple machines.
"Ma'am, would you mind stepping outside for a bit? We have to undress him." a nurse says.
"No. I'm staying." I tell her coldly. She nods and they begin to strip him and put a hospital gown on him.
I stare at Patrick, trying to read his expression. His face is void of any emotion. His eyes stare straight as sweat drips down his face. I wipe it away with a towel.
His eyes glance up to mine and stay locked there for a while. I push his hair away from his face, trying to remain calm. They take blood and run tests. Once all of the doctors and nurses have gone, the room is silent and calm.
"You okay?" I ask. He nods. I stare at him for a little while.
"Yes....no...I don't know. Are we supposed to act like everything is okay even when it's not?" he asks, looking over at me.
"Patrick, it's alright if things aren't alright. It's okay to not feel well. It's okay to break down. Heck, cry if you want to. Just make sure that when you're done crying, you never cry about the same thing again."
"You always know exactly what to say, El." he says smiling. I kiss his forehead and then his lips. He looks at me weirdly.
"What?" I ask.
"The things I never told you...oh how they tear at me now." he says smiling.
"Then tell me." He sighs and stares out the window.
"Well, I've wanted to say something ever since I felt it...which started when I met you..but I couldn't."
"Patrick you aren't making any sense." I tell him.
"I..I'm still trying to make sense of it. Put it into words. This feeling I have. It's like, I still get butterflies even though I've seen you like a thousand times. Every time you walk into the room, my heart pounds inside of my chest.
"I knew that I shouldn't feel that way, what with my wife and child at home. But I didn't even try to love you. It just happened. I tried to push the feeling away but it would rush back to me every time I saw you. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'll always love you Ellen. Even when you annoy me. Even when you insist that I'm still me. I'll love you for the rest of my life. As long as you'll let me love you, I will."
Tears slide down my cheeks as I hear his confession. I grab his face and kiss him with as much emotion as I can. I kiss him multiple times.
His tongue explore my mouth and he pulls my waist toward him so that I'm straddling him. I let him kiss down my neck and around my exposed chest.
I reach to my shirt and unbutton it quickly. He realizes what I did and stares at the ceiling, sighing. I pull my shirt back together, suddenly self conscious.
"What?" I ask shyly.
"I can't...we can't do anything more than kiss. Believe me, I want to but..I can't really feel anything below my waist. I mean I don't know how...what it might be like. I want to, really. You can't imagine the things I want to do to you right now, Ellen."