Remember Me.

08

I wake up to the sound of screaming. I run into Patrick's room and see him sweating. He begins to scream again, his eyes squeezed shut.
"Patrick." I say, wiping his face. "Patrick wake up."
Ever since the accident four months ago, he has been having nightmares almost every night. Most nights, I don't get a lot of sleep because of it.
I went back to work a month and a half ago. I told the cast and crew about what happened between me and Patrick. They all sent their condolences and Shonda agreed to have me home by seven each night so I can take care of Patrick.
"Patrick it's just a dream. Wake up." I tell him. His eyes open and he sits up with a jolt. His eyes frantically look around the room and land on me.
I stroke the sides of his face, calming him down.
"It's okay. It's just a dream. It's okay." He nods and I gently push him back onto the pillows. Lately, Patrick has been becoming more and more depressed. He sleeps most of the days away and when he is awake, it's almost like he isn't even there. He's absent.
I watch as his breathing returns to normal and he stares at the ceiling. I continue to brush his hair back. He hasn't asked me to stay with him after the first night we were home.
"I'm fine. You can leave." he says, his voice monotone. I nod, refusing to let my face show how much he has hurt me. I stand from the bed and walk out of the room, shutting the door behind me.
I let myself slide down the door until my butt hits the floor. My knees slide up to my chest and my face finds its way into my hands. Tears fall down my cheeks like a river but nothing comes out of my mouth. It's as if my voice is afraid of showing itself.
I silently cry outside of his door until the sun rises. The clock in the hallway shows that it's 6 in the morning. Time to get dressed.
I pull myself up and go through the motions of getting ready. I am out the door and on set by 7:15.
"El, are you alright?" I turn and see Caterina Scorsone staring at me. I smile and nod. She gives me a hug anyways.
"I know you've been crying, Ellen." she whispers into my ear. I pull away and look at her.
"It's alright. I won't question it. Just...if you need anything, know that you can talk to me. I'm here for you." I nod and smile. She walks away and I get dressed and head back to set.
Around 6, Shonda sends me home and I thank her gratefully.
When I arrive at the home, I find Patrick sitting in his room, staring out the window. Peter says goodbye and walks out of the house.
"Hey Pat." I say, placing my hand on his shoulder. He ignores me, continuing to stare out the window.
"I'm just going to go cook us some dinner." I say. I walk out of his room and down the stairs. I fill a pot with water and set it on the stove. I turn the television on while I wait for the water to boil.
The news is broadcasting Patrick's story still. More about how Jill and Talulah are taking it. As if Jill actually cares.
I hear a crash from upstairs and mute the tv. I run upstairs to see if something happened. I walk into Patrick's room and gasp.
His limp body lays beside his bed, his eyes closed, surrounded by a pool of blood.