PROLOGUE
I was drinking my coffee alone in a certain coffee shop, thinking about specifically nothing and everything at the same time. Lately, I have been so alone that I refuse to spend much of my time with my friends unlike before. I hated being alone, but right now? Being with myself is where I find solace.
I was still lost in my thoughts when I heard someone spoke beside me. Turning, a woman was sitting beside me, staring with silent amusement.
“I’m sorry. Were you talking to me?” I asked, hoping that didn’t sound offensive. I just don’t know how to talk to strangers anymore.
“Yes,” she answered.
She’s decidedly beautiful with her brown eyes and high cheeks. Her hair was styled in a way that I don’t see often, except on magazines. She looked like a classic beauty on how she holds herself. There is something refined on those long, graceful fingers.
“You’re studying me.”
My eyes flew to hers and I frowned apologetically. “I’m sorry. Just a strange habit, I promise.”
She chuckled. “Don’t worry. I didn’t think you were being insulting.”
I don’t know why she’s talking to me. I don’t do well on that part of my life anymore: talking. Not even to my brother. “Do you mind if I ask you a question?” she asked.
“No,” I lied.
“I asked this a while ago but you obviously hadn’t heard.”
“Oh, I’m sorry.”
“No, it’s alright. I would like you to answer this one honestly, if that’s possible.”
I nodded. “Sure. Fire away.”
She smiled and then she spoke in a quiet voice that if she had not leaned in closer, I wouldn’t have been able to hear it. “What if you could go back to the past, what would you change?”
An image of a man suddenly flashed in my mind like a big red traffic sign, telling me not to go there again. But it was too late: my thoughts are already filled with him; His dark, far away eyes; His hair that he never seemed to care to fix; His warm, appreciative smile; His sometimes cold and distant demeanour; His mysterious and unexpected behaviour that never ceases to amaze and confuse me. He’s an enigma and I was captivated. No matter how many times I tried to stay away, an invisible thread always pulled me back to him and I didn’t want to let go. But I managed to. He’s just a part of my past now; a poignant but beautiful one.
“So,” she said in a low voice. “What’s your answer?”
I tried to imagine my life had I not met him…and I can’t. So I answered her with just one word: “Nothing.”
She smiled deeply, as if pleased. “Good answer.”
“Is it your habit to ask questions like that on random strangers?” I was more curious than just being mocking, although my tone might sound like the latter.
But she just laughed. Christ, even the way she laughs looks like something off a historical movie. “Oh, no. Not really. I just know when a person is in deep thoughts. I have a certain way of…feeling it. Call it instinct.”
It’s in her eyes, I think. She is so beautiful and young and even graceful when she talks, I could almost mistake her as a runaway royalty. But those big, brown eyes—they seemed familiar. She has the same look—a faraway, sad look like…
His.
I got up so suddenly, nearly knocking over the coffee on my table.
She stood up, too. “Are you okay?”
“Yes, yes. I’m…I’m fine.” I was trying not to look at her. No. It’s not her fault. This is ridiculous. “I’m sorry,” I finally said and I was struck by how worried she was. But they reminded me of his eyes too much and I couldn’t take it.
“Are you sure?” she asked.
I nodded, hoping it was convincing enough. I don’t want to be rude but I really have to get out of here. “Listen, I’m sorry but I have to go.”
Her frown softened a bit. “Okay. No problem.”
I was about to leave when I remembered I didn’t even introduce myself. So I turned around and gave her the friendliest smile that I could. “I’m Florence.”
“Theresa.”
With one last smile, I left with my coffee untouched and not knowing if I’d ever see her again.
***
