Dan and I are drinking coffee in my apartment right now and I am insisting that he should move in. After last night, I don’t want him gone in my eyesight ever again.
“I can’t,” he said.
“Why? I am not letting you go anymore. You’re the only family I have left and I left you when you needed me the most. I could never forgive myself for that.”
Dan set his cup of coffee down. He takes it the same as mine: two teaspoons of sugar and cream. But whereas I like it hot, he likes it lukewarm. “No, don’t think that way,” he said. “I was the danger, Flo. I pushed you away to try to protect you from me. I still don’t know that time if I could control myself and I certainly don’t want you to see me like that. And I still don’t know now, so I should be left alone. It’s an animal instinct.” He cringed when he said the word animal. “I’m a beast now.”
I touched his hand. “Dan,” I said, sighing. “You’re not an animal, a monster or a beast. You’re still you—”
“You haven’t seen me as a werewolf, Flo. So don’t assume.”
My mouth twitched. “Is it like the Twilight where you practically look literally like a big dog or the Underworld movie where you look like a literal dog monster?” I asked, trying to ease the tension away from his face.
Dan chuckled a bit. “I am so ashamed to admit this but closer to Twilight, only more dark and badass looking.”
“Well, I’d definitely want to see it. They’re so cute, despite their size. I used to wish I had a werewolf pet, you know—”
“Yes, you have mentioned that.”
“And now I have one!” I exclaimed and we both laughed.
“You’re terrible, Flo. But you should know that we don’t always look like that. We could turn into a werewolf still looking human. We just bare our big sharp teeth and grow our sharp nails. Believe me it’s very disgusting I think I would not get used to it.”
I crinkled my nose. “Very unhygienic?”
Dan chuckled, nodding his head. “Yeah.”
We both fell quiet and just stared at each other: brother to sister. I miss this moment. “You’re not afraid or disgusted of me?” he asked.
I threw my hands up and rolled my eyes. Looking him seriously in his eyes that have always reminded me of my father, I spoke. “Dan, you’re my brother. I love you unconditionally. Even if you pushed me away, I still love you. And I hoped you would have stopped me from leaving but you didn’t and I was devastated, but I still love you. I missed you and I cried to my sleep every night because I regretted leaving. But I knew I had to do it. And now that we’re together once again, I’ve never been happier. Why would I ever be disgusted by you? Why would I ever be afraid? I’ve never felt safer now, knowing you’re okay. I don’t care if you’ve been turned into a rat or something, or acquired a power like those superhero movies. You’re still my brother and nothing can change that.”
“You’re not shocked?”
“I was shocked! I still am. But what I am more is mad. I want to go kill that demon myself but then as you said, Luke’s pack took care of that. And I can’t be mad at him when he decided to turn you. He saved your life and I’m grateful. I am in debt. In fact, I want to meet him.”
A tear fell down his face and I got up, sat right next to him and wiped it away. He pulled me into his arms.
“Thank you, Flo,” he murmured. “I would never give you anymore reasons to leave me again. I swear I’ll protect you.”
I didn’t hold back anymore. I let the tears fall. My brother has been through the worst thing in his life and I wasn’t beside him. He’s never going to be alone now. I’ll never leave him again. “We’ll protect each other, Dan.”
He scoffed. “You’re just a helpless human, what could you do?”
“Maybe I would ask you to turn me, too?”
He abruptly let go and looked at me with a serious frown. “No. I would never—”
I let out a laugh. “Dan, I’m joking.”
“You better be.” And then we hugged again.
Later on that same day, during my set, I quietly dedicated my songs to my brother. I sang songs about people reuniting, people loving unconditionally, people who think they’re alone in the world and people who had gave up on everything, telling them that somehow, somewhere, there is hope.
When I was done and was about to sit right next to him, I heard Simon calling me, so I looked at my brother who just rolled his eyes and shrugged, waving a hand in the air. He knows I have a thing for Simon and he doesn’t like it. But Rae and Amy somehow had talked to him and he eased up a little. Again, those two saved the day. What would I do without them?
I sat right next to Simon. “What’s up?”
“Nothing. Just sit with me here. Clary’s being a beast,” he said.
I turned to her and she looked angry. “Are you okay?” I asked out of concern. Did she and Simon have a fit?
“Flo,” she said after glaring at Simon. “Can I talk to you?”
“No,” Simon said.
“She could answer for herself, Simon,” Clary said.
I want to talk to her, too. I want to ask her things and I feel like she’s the only one who wants to answer them. “Sure Clary.”
She nodded and we both stood up. “Let’s talk somewhere else,” I said.
We were about to leave when a familiar cold hand stopped me. I spun around. “I said no,” said Simon.
It was Seb who spoke next, sitting beside Jace who just looked bored. “Let them be, Simon.”
“You stay out of this, Sebastian,” Simon threatened.
I heard Jace sigh. “Clary, I don’t think now is the time.”
The two exchanged looks before Clary sighed. “Fine,” she said, sitting back down.
“Come with me,” Simon said, taking my hand as we walked out of Java Jones.
