Epilepsy (DISCONTINUED)

heartbeat

Hello I'm sorry this had taken a dark true but it should get better.....

 No promises thou

T R I G G A R W A R N I NG

death hospitals panic attacks epilepsy anorexia comas cutting

Joe's pov

Beep 

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I feel like someone is drilling into my left temple and in my case they literally have and it's so painful....
I don't know what's wrong with me but I hear the all too familiar beep of a heart monitor when it can't pick up a beat, everything Is loud too loud, I can hear zoe's cry 

I'm not dead zo,

 I can't move but I can feel caspar's warm hands holding mine his body beneath me his tears falling on my face. The door opens amd two pairs of footsteps follow I feel the comforting warmth of caspar being pulled off me, his hands removed from mine my body picked up amd his firm chest replaced by the rough covers of the hospital bed. I feel my loose black top being pulled over my head 

no they all have to see my ugly fat worthless body kill me... 

Two cold metal plates are put on my chest I hear the charge working 

  no no no fuck I'm not dead why can't they see this

my body jolts involuntary because of the electric shock, the beep of no heart beat continues

 " shock again charge 100 in 3. 2. 1 clear!" 

a male voice says from obove me another shock hits my body making it hurt just like it does when I have a fit

 "STOP wait he's epileptic couldn't this cause a fit???" 

 caspar's sweet angelic voice says.

 "no! Young man shut up and let me treat this kid!"

 the male voice says, 

God I want to punch him nobody talks to caspar like that!! 

Having been too focused on caspar nobody had heard the sound of my heart monitor beeping steadily having picked up my heart rate, 

"oh Joe thank God I thought I'd lost you, you mean so much to me I don't think I would be able to li-"

 "don't even finish that sentence zoe Elizabeth Sugg!"