Gone Kids

1. We begin at the end

I can't believe it's really over. My whole life, everything I've ever worked for, is now gone. Everything was going so well for me too. I had family and friends I could trust, and I had a boyfriend...

Oh, Jack... I think I will miss him the most. I really thought we could have been something...

Now I will never know what it's like to go to prom, or get married, or heck, have a thirteenth birthday party! Yes, that left along with my life. Because I am dead now.

And now no one seems to notice the little girl dressed in black, standing a bit disconnected from everyone else. Everyone else is also wearing black, but no one says much to each other. They just mutter at each other conversation to pass the time. People pass the spot in which I am standing but no one glances twice in my direction. I recognize a few faces, but most of the people I don't know. They probably only came for the free food I guess.

Hardly anyone is crying, which is disappointing. I expected more people to cry at my funeral, but I guess that hardly matters now.

I see my best friends are huddled in a corner together, looking a bit like lost puppies without me. They must be confused. They were expecting to be partying it up at my place for my birthday today, but I guess life had it's own plan and now they're stuck here.

I kind of wonder what kind of people they will be without me. I wonder if they will change at all, or if they will stay together. I think about all the memories we had and I force myself not to cry. This is what I will miss when I leave.

Before I can stop myself I walk over to them. I don't bother trying to get their attention, I just want a better glimpse of their faces before I go for good.

"I still can't believe she's dead," I hear Madison say.

"I still can't believe how she died. Bonnie would never end her life like that," Avery says in disbelief.

"You're right. Bonnie was a lot of things, but suicidal was not one of them," Gina says.

"I'll never forget Bonnie."

"Yeah, me too."

At this point I walk away from them talking. I notice some other girls from my school not too far away and I decide to stalk them for a while, just out of curiosity.

"What do you think of the shrimp?" one girl asks her friend.

"Honestly I've tasted better," her friend replies.

"Yeah me too."

"How much longer do you think this will last?"

"Nancy! Don't say things like that at a funeral. Someone could hear you!"

"So? It's not like anyone here actually liked Bonnie. If you ask me I think her parents killed her, just to get rid of her for once and for all."

"Nancy, that's ridiculous. Bonnie committed suicide."

"Oh yeah? And tell me why there's no body."

"Because she jumped off a bridge, Nancy. They couldn't find the body in the river."

"Seems rather convenient. Not that it matters to me how she died, I'm just glad she's gone."

"Bonnie wasn't that bad."

"Why are you defending her? You hate her too!"

"Yeah, well it just seems wrong talking shit about her at her own funeral. It's sick behavior."

"No, you know what's sick? She's so awful her own boyfriend didn't even show up to her funeral! So much for picture perfect couple! Jack's probably already found someone else to replace her."

I can't bear to listen in to the conversation any longer. Thankfully people are already outside crowding around my grave. I watch from afar, bearly listening in to what the pastor has to say. My parents hold hands and listen intently. Their faces are expressionless, no doubt trying to hide how they really feel. Then, before I know it I watch men lower my empty casket into my grave.

It all seems so fake to me that I smile. The sun is blindingly bright, and the grass is disgustingly green. These people don't even care about me. I guess I should be glad I'm leaving, but I won't be able to keep myself from missing this town.

Now people are throwing dirt onto my casket, starting with my parents. Then a couple distant cousins and relatives I don't know well, and then Madison, Gina, and Lindsay. Still, nobody cries. Why is nobody crying?

Soon my casket is covered, and my grave is completely filled with dirt. When everyone leaves I move closer to my grave to get a better look at my gravestone. It says:

Here lies Bonnie Davis
Born May 29, 1999
Died May 28, 2012

That's it. That's all it says. I don't know what I expected it to say, I never really thought about it.
But it seems way too simple, like it was rushed.

It was rushed, I remind myself.

I turn away from my own gravestone and walk away. I keep walking and I soon find myself on the front porch of my old house. My house is quite big since my parents are rich, and the garden is neatly trimmed to utmost perfection.

I enter the door to my house and I am met with silence. The house was always cold and empty, even when I lived here. But today it seems sad as well. I can't believe this is the last time I will ever roam these halls.

I walk the stairs up to my room. My room so big, it could be used as a living room and I always kept it ridiculously clean. My bed is big too; its king sized and the covers are red. Red was my favorite color in life so most of my room decor is red too.

I walk into my closet and I go through my clothes. In life I was big into shopping so I had a lot of clothes. I wonder where my parents will take my clothes now that they have no use to them.

I walk into my bathroom and I just stare at it all, trying to take it all in.

I walk back into my regular room. I sit on my bed and I allow myself to believe that nothing has changed. I am still Bonnie Davis, most popular girl in school and I have everything I want. My friends are about to come over for my thirteenth birthday party and we'll have a total blast.

Madison will end up spilling her drink all over her new dress, and Avery will laugh at her stupidity. Gina will be trying to tell us all about her true love. The one that lives in England, not the one that lives in Nevada or the one that lives in Mexico.

I smile at the thought but I bring myself back to realty. I am no longer Bonnie Davis and I am no longer alive. I committed suicide, jumping off a bridge. My parents will be back soon and I don't think I want to see them.

Hastily I grab a pencil and paper from my press and I write a letter and when I'm done I open up a loose floorboard only I know exists in my floor. Inside are a few more letters and I place my new one with them. Then I close the floorboard.

I leave my room without a second glance and I take the stairs down my house to the front door. I walk up to the pavement outside my house, not sure of where to go next.

But before I can decide I see a light in the distance. I watch it get bigger and bigger until it's right in front of me. Then, I walk towards the light.