Who ? {English Version}

✵t h r e e✵

"Zayn are you finally going to talk to me?" No, you make me go to a therapist even though I don't need one, I only need him. "Alright I get it."
We arrive in front of a building we get in. We knock on the wooden door and a woman who looks young opened the door. "Hello you are Zayn Malik aren't you?" She asked with a smile. "Yes." I respond coldly. "Come in please." "I'm waiting for you in here." I don't answer Doniya because I'm mad at her. She told me we were getting out to clear my mind and after ten minutes on the road I learn that I'm going to a therapist. Thank you sista, really, thank you.

The therapist closes the door and tells me to sit on the couch. She then sits in front of me. Then she starts speaking. "So Zayn, can I call you Zayn ?" I only nod, not decided to talk to her. "Can you tell me why you're here ?" I shrug even though I know she knows why I came, correction, why I was forced to come here. "Zayn, you look like someone smart and I think you know that I know why you're here and if you really are smart like I think you know I'm here to help you and not make things worse." Maybe I'm actually gonna talk to her. And I did

"My boyfriend Liam died a week ago." I was already feeling a lump in my throat. "How did it happen?" "We had in a car accident." This lump was growing. "Who was driving?"
"Him, but it's my fault, I'm the one who wanted to go out."

I can't help myself to let a tear escapes from my eye.

"Why did you wanna go out that night?"
"I wanted to go to the restaurant and propose to him." I then burst into tears because it's too hard to talk about it. She hands me tissues. "Thank you." She smiled sweetly. "You're welcome."

I calm down and I mentally thank her for not asking me too many questions while I was crying. "So you wanted to marry him, right?" She asked me. "Yes." I respond quietly. "For how long had you guys been together?" "A little bit more than 4 years."
"How did you feel when you were told he died ?" She asked. "I...My world completely fell apart. I felt like someone was killing me, cutting me in half. My other half, my world, my soulmate, my reason to live were stolen from me." I replied with a few tears rolling down my cheeks "You loved him right ?" She questioned. "Yes and I still do."
"I understand. Tell me about your relationship with Liam." She asked writing down everything I was saying since the beginning of the session. "Liam and I met through a friend we had in common and since we didn't leave each other's side. Before I met him, I didn't believe in love and even less in love at first sigh but when meeting him I completely changed my mind because I fell in love at first sight with Liam as soon as our eyes met. I said with a nostaligic smile. "I can see that you love him when you talk about him. I have your file right in front of me which tells me that you already went to a therapist because your dad died right?" I nodded. "Yes." I slowly say. "Also, your file says you have that you have already 'hurt' yourself" I know what she want me to tell her. I hesitate to tell her about it. I think I have to because she just want help me. "Since I left the hospital I cut myself quite often." I said shamefully. "What made you start again ?" She asked watching through her glasses. "Losing another person who was important to me, a person who completed me and who totally understood me, losing someone that I was this close to. Simply lose someone I love." She writed a few thing down what gave me the time for calming myself down a bit

"Did you get over your dad's death?" "I think so...I mean, I don't know. Yes it's possible." I replied a bit confused. "How did you do ?" "With the help of my friends, my family and I also went in a support group." I respond. "So little by little you let go, right ?" I nodded. "Yes, I think so." "So you'll have to do the same with Liam." I shook my head. "But I can't let him go." I answer with a weak voice. "Zayn, your mental and physical health are at stake. I'm sure Liam loved you as much as you love him and I don't think he would've loved seeing you like that." I hummed. "Then I have an idea that could help you, but now it's your turn to chose if you want to get better or not." "I..." I was about to protest but she cuts me. "You?" She asked. "I want help." I said with an assured voice. "It's already a big step to accept help from people, it's very good Zayn." I hummed again. "So what's your solution?" I question her. "It's a thing that I tested before on other patients and it happened to be working, really working since it worked 93,2% of the time. I suggest that you keep sending messages to Liam telling him about your life, about how you feel and how you feel about his death and everything you would've loved to tell him before he left. And bit by bit you stop sending texts."

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What's Up !
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Sorry if I made some mistakes
Leigh.❣