The Devil and I: The Battle Within.

Surprise.

Harry got better as quickly as he got ill. More and more I heard a voice that wasn't mine and wasn't my mothers, it was the same voice I heard the night David was last here and it would not go away. It would not answer me either. It didn't say anything of worth but I listened every time it spoke. Who are you? But I never got a reply I got things like I miss the gardens I grew up in. Or I would never have left. I would have made him stay. Nothing meant anything to me. Morgan had been teaching Harry about the power he had and when to not use it like in public and definitely not in front of Lauren. We had a long conversation about how we should go forward with this new found power Harry possessed. Morgan was going to do the best he could and I believed he would, he would do anything foe his little man. Harry should have been in nursery but because he was ill they said take as long as you need but I didn't want him to go back until David was gone. I knew it was bad of me to think like that but the hell he put my little family through I didn't need him messing up Harry's life. At times I kept thinking about what David had said, "you are more Elizabeth than you know", it made me think that maybe after everything I knew about how myself and Elizabeth was connected that maybe it was her in my head. After David had put Elizabeth's bracelet on my wrist that day when I was in labour I saw that in a former life I was her, but I didn't feel conflicted. I didn't feel like Elizabeth, I wasn't her not properly. Those tugs I had felt in my soul and mind had gotten worse and then all of a sudden stopped as Elizabeth started talking more in my mind. I knew Morgan knew what I was hearing because he had known when I was hearing my mother's voice but he never said anything about it. Sometimes he would give me small concerned looks when he thought I wasn't looking. I wished he would just talk to me about it because I felt like I was loosing it. I wanted him to tell me if it definitely was her, if I should talk to her or not. He had helped me with my gift of seeing the past with just a touch of my hand but he didn't teach me how to deal with these voices in my head. I wanted to ask him where they came from but I knew I might not have liked the answer. I know Harry comes first, he always will, but just one conversation about it would make me feel better. It would make me feel like I wasn't completely insane, I mean I am hearing dead people's voices but I don't live in the sheltered dream of reality I did before I met and fell in love with Morgan.
"He is getting better at this Emily."
"Good."
I smiled at him but it was short lived when I heard He is the reason I died. I saw Morgan flinch, actually flinch as if the words had come out of my mouth.
"So you hear her too."
It wasn't a question, it was a statement. He sat down and looked at me with sad eyes but he nodded.
"Can I switch it off?"
He sighed heavily,
"I don't know Emily. I...I just don't know."
At least he was honest if he knew he would have helped me stop it because I knew sometimes what the voice said hurt him. Harry came running in and sat in front of the TV and put his favourite show on, in the past he used to ask when it was on but now he knew even without looking at the time.
"Are you hungry Wolf?"
He turned to me and rubbed his belly,
"Yes Mama!"
I smiled,
"Well what would you like?"
He stopped, put his finger on his chin and thought deeply about what he wanted to eat. It was slightly comical. Moments like these brightened my life and relieved me of all kinds of stress.
"Can I have beans on toast please?"
"Sure thing baby."
Morgan stood up and located a tin of beans while I got a dish out to warm the beans in.
"Do you want some?"
"No thank you Emily but you should."
"I'm not hungry."
He gently placed the open tin in my hands, looked deeply into my eyes and said,
"I really think you should eat something."
I took the tin and emptied it into the bowl,
"And why do you think that?"
He looked uneasy and shifted on his feet looking up to the ceiling,
"Morgan."
"Just trust me."
I wasn't going to let this go, he had been doing this a lot lately. Dropping little hints that I should eat, I was eating fine. My diet had not changed. I don't know what's wrong with him.
"Morgan, what is it?"
"Seriously?"
"Seriously."
"Well"
And then Harry bursted into the kitchen holding his cup in both hands presenting it to me,
"Can I have a cup of tea too Mama?"
"Sure Harry."
I turned to face Morgan who looked relieved that his son stopped him from speaking.
"I'm not letting this go."
Instead of having beans on toast I just had toast. It was the only way to get Morgan off my back. Harry sat with his plate on the coffee table, eating his food and only occasionally taking his eyes off the screen to locate his cup of tea. When Harry had finished his food and his tea, he went back outside to play. I took the plates and Harry's cup into the kitchen and Morgan followed.
"I'm just going to go to the shop. I will be back soon."
He bent down and kissed me. Every time he kissed me I felt more at home than ever before. I was tired but I didn't want to leave Harry outside on his own so I went and sat with him in the garden. When I got there he was lying on his back looking at the clouds, he pointed to a large funny shaped one,
"What do you think that cloud looks like Mama?"
I examined it, thinking deeply.
"A rabbit...maybe. What do you see?"
"I don't know. A spaceship!"
I laughed,
"Oh yes I see it now!"
He pointed to another cloud,
"What about that one?"
"Hmm, I see a big smiley face. What do you think it looks like?"
He sat up to get a better look at it,
"I think you are right Mama. A big smile in the sky."
He looked at me, his little face looked untroubled and happy.
"Are you tired Mama?"
"Only a little bit. Why are you tired Harry?"
"A little bit."
I stood up and lifted him up,
"Shall we go have a little lie down?"
He nodded rubbing his eye, I locked the back door and put Harry down. He ran upstairs while I had a glass of water, I felt sick but I blamed that on eating when I wasn't hungry. When I got upstairs, Harry had retrieved his toy wolf took off his shoes and was in mine and Morgan's bed. He looked so small. I woke up to the sound of Morgan coming home. I looked over to Harry and he was still blissfully sleeping clutching his wolf in one hand and holding his hair in the other.
"We are up here Morgan."
He came up the stairs slowly as if he was approaching a wild animal instead of me. He had a carrier bag and he held it out towards me.
"What's up with you?"
"You are going to be so mad."
"Why?"
I took the bag off him and instead was a pregnancy test. Well about five pregnancy tests.  I slowly raised my head to look at him, he looked worried.
"Are you fucking serious?"
He held his hands out flat and in front of his chest as if I was going to hit him. I almost did.
"Morgan are you being fucking serious with me?"
"It's a feeling I've got. Well me and Harry."
"Harry?"
"He can sense something different in you. So can I. It reminds me of when you was pregnant with Harry."
I didn't know how to take this. I'd love another child but why do I only seem to get pregnant when his lunatic brother is stalking around. I dragged Morgan into the bathroom with me, I wanted him close so I could yell at him. It wasn't his fault but I was just so tired and I didn't want another child to suffer because of our lifestyle. The first three tests was done and Morgan stared at the door the whole time seeking release and freedom. I paced the room but Morgan's eyes were squarely fixed on the door.
"When?"
"When what?"
"When did your pregnancy senses started to tingle?"
He paused and his look on the door hardened as if he wanted to disappear but for some reason couldn't.
"Just before Harry's birthday."
"But that was ages ago. Why didn't you say anything?"
He looked at me and his eyes softened,
"If you haven't noticed Emily, my brother who should be dead turned up."
"Point taken. But why haven't I noticed?"
I sat on the edge of the bath going through the days before Harry's fifth birthday. It had been busy but we had made time for each other, when Harry was with Newt or late at night. The tests all read positive, but if the Devil and his son could sense it I didn't really need the tests. I had always wanted a sibling for Harry but not now, not with David convinced I'm playing two lives.
"How can I protect this one if I can't protect Harry?"
I intended to say it in my head but the words came out of my mouth before I could stop it. It didn't matter Morgan always knew what I was thinking. He held me tightly and we left to check on Harry, I sat on the bed looking at his sweet face and Morgan said,
"We coped before and Emily, my love, we can do it again. I promise I will protect you all until my last breath."
"I love you Morgan."
He sat next to me and smiled. It was a beautiful smile.
"I love you Emily. And Harry. Thank you."
"For what?"
"Having such a beautiful child with me."
He kissed my forehead and held me close to him again. I loved him, he and Harry were my world. I knew with the both of them this baby will be safe and loved and that's all I could ask for.
"So when is this baby due?"
"I'm the Devil not a doctor."
We laughed and Harry stirred awake, he looked at us both and rubbed his eyes,
"Did you tell her Daddy?"
"Yes I did little man."
He crawled up to us and put his little hand on my stomach,
"Was we right Mama?"
"Yes you were Wolf."
He smiled brightly and Morgan pulled us both into a hug. I wished the moment could last forever but reality would always get in the way.
"Morgan can you call the hospital?"
"Doctor Lewis?"
"Doctor Lewis."
She was my midwife, when I eventually went, when I was having Harry. I only went a couple of times but she was so nice and lovely to me.