words ♤ frerard

chapter//six

The next couple days Gerard wallowed in self pity, drowning himself in alcohol and cigarettes, and if he had the drugs he wanted, he'd be taking those too. I mean, his brother was more than likely going to die, and Gerard couldn't take it. He couldn't fucking take it. His baby brother had a ten percent chance of making it out alive, and Gerard couldn't fucking take it, so he numbed the pain of it all.

Until Frank decided to call him. Gerard didn't want to answer his phone, he really didn't, he didn't want to have Frank tell him everything would be okay. But, Gerard being Gerard, he answered his fucking phone, though soon after he realized it probably wasn't a good idea, because the voice on the other line was not Frank, and the words they said were not good words.

"Frank's in the hospital," The voice said, and you could tell the person had been crying, which made Gerard's heart ache, and it made his hands wrap around the bottle of straight up vodka, and take a swig of it, nearly emptying the bottle. "Fuck, are you there?" The voice asked, since Gerard hadn't responded for a good minute.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm here, just fuck, what happened? And who the fuck is this?" He asked, wiping his mouth off with the back of his sleeve. Gerard could hold his liquor well, and you could hardly tell he was drunk; which could be a good thing, but if you pissed him off, you were going to get hurt, because when he was drunk, he couldn't exactly control his temper.

"When you left, he went to a party, and then was going to walk home, but he got hit by a fucking car, it wasn't going fast, but it still put him in the hospital. Oh, and I'm Billie, I'm his boyfriend, what are you to him?" Gerard wanted to be a fucking dick and make some comment about the blowjob, but he bit his tongue and kept his mouth shut, knowing Frank would hate him if he mentioned a word about that.

"A friend. Fuck! Two of my favorite people are in the hospital, that's just fucking lovely. Fuckin- ahh, fuck I gotta go, call if you have anymore news." Gerard ran a hand through his greasy red hair and hung up, preparing for the worst. It always was the worst for Gerard, whether it be in his books or in his life, it always took a turn to the worst, so he was convinced both his brother and Frank would die.

Gerard scrolled through his contacts, and called Bert. He only called Bert because he was actually wonderful company, and god knows Gerard deserved some decent company. Bert agreed and said he'd be right over, but the drive was about fifteen minutes, so it left some time for Gerard to try to finish up the last chapter of his book, which was rather cliché.

//

Soon enough, Bert came by with a bag full of candies, ranging from chocolate to gummy bears and worms. Gerard eyed the candies and gave Bert a weird look, as if asking why in the world he would bring those. Clearly, Bert had no idea what Gerard was implying, so Bert plopped down next to him on the couch, holding out the bag to the red-haired boy.

"Bert, why-" Gerard was cut off by Bert shoving the bag of candy into his arms, smiling brightly. "Why bring these? I'm not a girl, and I'm not a girl on her period, I'm a male, a guy, a man." He emphasized the last word, the word man, because he didn't want Bert to confuse him as a boy. Gerard was a man.

"Dude, your gender doesn't matter, if you're sad, eat some fuckin' candy, man. Candy helps with sadness and shit, so I brought you candy, if you don't want it I'll gladly eat it." Bert shrugged and pulled out a bag of gummy bears and ripped open the top, pouring a few into his hand. Gerard sighed and ripped the bag from Bert, picking out a couple blue ones to eat.

"Don't you dare eat all of it, it's mine. You bought it for me so don't eat it all," Gerard told him, pulling out some bite sized chocolates and opened them quickly, popping a couple into his mouth.

"That's just it, I used my money to buy this shit, it's technically mine, you know."

"It stopped being yours when you gave it to me, so it's not yours, even if you did waste money on it. It's now all mine." Bert shrugged and ate a couple more gummy bears, unconsciously studying Gerard's face. "Frank's in the hospital, now too. He got hit by a car. First my brother, now Frank? That's not fucking fair. And don't you say some shit like, 'life isn't fair' because I swear to god I will kick you out of my apartment."

"Bad things happen to good people, Gerard. It's the price you pay for being a good person-" Gerard finally turned to Bert, looking at him curiously, yet almost in an amused manner, since Gerard was definitely not a good person. For three years, Gerard practically lived off drugs, coffee, alcohol, and cheap cup noodles. And sex. Can't forget sex. He also stole, lied, and cheated people.

"I'm not a good person, you know that just as well as I do, don't lie." Gerard let out a dry, humorless chuckle and shook his head, setting down the bag of candy he held tightly in his hand.

"Fair enough. But Frank and Mikey, they're both wonderful people, am I wrong?" Gerard shook his head in response. They really were amazing people. "Exactly, bad things happen to good people and good things tend to happen to bad people."

"Then why hasn't anything good happened to me?" Gerard asked, his voice cracking, making Bert frown. He wrapped his arms around the author and pulled him into his chest, holding him close. "Sometimes I wish I could love you, Bert. It would make things so much better; so much easier."

"I wish the same, Gerard. But we tried and it didn't work out, and that's okay. It's okay because I still have an amazing friend who means the world to me, and that's all I want." Gerard wrapped his arms around Bert and let himself break just a little more. The flimsy tape and glue that held him together finally lost its stick when his tears hit it, and it finally gave up. After years of repairing himself with cheap glue and bad choices. He broke.

- please promote this piece of crap

-kota //