Cold Hearted

Chapter 2

"Bitch" my older sister Calissa said under her breath as I took the last spring roll. She flew out from Michigan that day and was there when i got home from school. 

"Watch it." Mom scowled at her. I stuffed a mouthful of spring roll in my mouth before asking,

"So how's Chase? Why didn't he come out with you?"

"He couldn't get off work but I missed you guys. Thought I would come out for a couple of days. He can survive without me." I took a piece of broccoli off my plate and threw it under the table for Bear to find. I felt him soon after sniffing around my ankles. Dad, who watched the whole exchange started laughing to himself. "Livia, do you have a boyfriend yet?" 

Mom answered for me. "Your sister isn't interested in boys right now."

"Sure..." Wink. "But i bet she's real popular if you know what i mean."

"Calissa!" Mom shouted disgusted. Family dinners were always so interesting. Typically in families people are always saying how similar you and your siblings are, but my sister and I could not look more different. My fine blonde hair and bright blue eyes came from my mother. Calissa got our dad's straw-like brown hair and hazel colored eyes. She has it short to try to keep it softer. 

A ringer suddenly went off on dad's phone. "Damn. I have to go in to the office. Sorry to leave so soon." He proceeded to lean over the table and plant a kiss on the top of my head. "See ya princess."

*******

Ross how could you do this to me!?!? 
We were on a break!!!!

"You're watching FRIENDS again?" The sudden burst of noise caused me to jolt, Bear re-positioning at my feet. I looked at my amused sister and shrugged. She walked over to the seating area and sat down on the leather love seat across from me. "So how have you been?"

"I'm doing fine."

"Is that Riley boy still around?"

"Rylan? Yeah."

"He's hot. You guys would be cute together."

"Ew no!" I thought back to earlier that day in the café. I was just tired. I always zone out. Me and Rylan? Ha, please. He's basically my brother. Calissa had no idea what she was talking about. Rylan... No way.

When my phone started to ring, I threw an apologetic smile at my sister as I answered it. To my surprise it was April. "Drew's throwing a killer party tonight. Invite only but I have connections."

"A party?"

Cali jumped up from her seat nodding.

"I mean I have my sister over..."

She kept mouthing the word go.

"But I guess."

"Fabulous!!! I'll pick you up at 10. Byeeeee!!"

I put down my phone and leaned back again the couch. Calissa looked excited.

"Is Kyler going to be there?

"I'm assuming Rylan will. Him and Drew are pretty close."

"Oooooo."

"Oh my god just go away." Bear followed close behind as I got up and left the room. I didn't know what to wear. The last time I went to a party was during the summer. I opened my closet but found only an old sweatshirt and my red flannel. Finally after 30 minutes of digging through clothes bins and tugging at my tangled hair I decided i looked decent enough to go downstairs. Bear swung his tail in approval. I had eventually put on the maroon crop top April bought for me in the fall and matched it with a pair of black leggings. By the time I got downstairs I could already see headlights shining through the windows. "Mom! Calissa! I'm leaving!!"

My sister came up from the basement. "Have fun with Derek!"

...

That's not even close.

*******

The music was too loud. It reeked of B.O. April didn't seem to notice. There were red solo cups all over the house and people making out everywhere. 

"Come on, let's go get our drink on!" She was pulling me by the arm before I could argue. I'm not much of a drinker. Never particularly liked the stuff. I managed to break free of her grasp and snuck away in the crowd. I just wanted to find Rylan. Just wanted to sit with him in a corner and make fun of the people who couldn't walk straight like we always do. I circled around the kitchen, dodging flying limbs, and turned down the hall to the media room. I walked in, interrupting a very intimate moment between some girl's face and a random guy's lips. As I was walking away I got a better look and noticed it wasn't a random guy. After looking closer I saw that those lips were Rylan's. Overwhelm and other feelings crept up behind me and knocked me in the back. I left quickly and ran back towards April. I didn't know why it hurt so bad. My eyes stung slightly and my stomach felt sick. I found her still by the drink table with a beer in her hand. 

"Give me that." I chugged the whole cup and slammed it back down on the table. "Keep them coming."

The rest of the night was fuzzy. I don't remember much but this is how April said it went. I had 4 or 5 drinks more before wandering off. I climbed up on the table in the living room and started dancing. Somehow I got a hold of a vodka bottle which she confiscated quickly. 

"You're no fun!" I screamed and suddenly I was "fun" one and April was... well me.  Nothing could stop me. I was out of control. The boys seemed to love it though. They were supposedly "all over me". As the night went on, the number of clothes I was wearing got lower. While I was busy dancing in my bra and leggings, Rylan appeared in the crowd. He forcefully pushed his way to the front and pulled me down by my arm. He then wrapped his jacket around my shoulders and lead me out of the room, April right behind us. Somehow I became the one who couldn't walk straight. We managed our way back to the dreaded media room. 

"What were you thinking?" I was too out of it to answer. 

"I tried to get her down but she wouldn't listen." April explained. Once the commotion had settled Rylan brought me a glass of water. He knew something was up. I'm not like this. I don't get drunk and dance on tables. There are certain parts of that night I remember, like what happened next. I felt betrayed. He didn't do anything wrong but for some reason it hurt. While they were talking, most likely about me, I made my escape. Turning into the kitchen I bumped into Damien, one of the members of the douche squad. I tried to stammer an apology but failed. 

"Woah, It's okay." He wrapped his arm around me and grabbed my butt. I flinched at the sudden means of affection but quickly embraced it. If Rylan could do it, so could I. Before I could finish my thought his lips touched mine. Surprisingly soft. He kissed me with such force I had to brace myself on the counter. Things became fuzzy once again and the next thing I remember is being in Drew's guest bedroom. I knew what I was doing. It's not like Rylan and I were dating. He could make out with blonde bimbos and I could do this. My cheeks started to heat up as Damien slid his hand under my leggings. Before it reached the bottom of my underwear the door swung open. He jumped off the bed, exposing me on my back. I jolted up in surprise, but the movement caused my head to start pounding and and my stomach started turning. I bent over a garbage can and eliminated the burning liquids rising up my throat. 

"Liv! Pull yourself together!!" April's voice ringing in my ear. I was a mess. Rylan picked me up and helped me out of the party and into his backseat beside a few beer bottles.

"Don't throw up in my car." He laughed.

What was I doing? What was I thinking? I wasn't. There were no excuses. Would I ever live this down? What was wrong with me?

I assume I fell asleep soon after because past that point my mind is blank.