Ariel's Daughter

Chapter 8

    I had to think about how I would go about finding this person. This woman, with those worried blue eyes and the same blond hair as me. Somehow, I got a weird feeling that I knew her. Then: a chilly feeling. I wanted my father back. I wanted to see him again, I missed him greatly, and I just needed him. He was, is my father, and I love him. Maybe if I found her, I'd somehow find my dad.

I can't seem to think properly the rest of the day. I want to find her, but most of all, I have an urgent yearning to get him back.

I hear the knocking noise of Avery's small quiet feet stepping towards us from the end of the docks. "So, when do we leave?" Madilyn asks from beside me, her feet splashing in the chilly rushing water. I smile, but frown thinking about it. I don't have a plan, or anything of that sort. I hadn't even thought about a trip somewhere. How would we even get to New York? Surely, Jack would never take us. No, he had a constant everyday job. That could never work. But on the other hand, I was seventeen, and I've heard about children getting on airplanes by themselves at a very young age. I could easily do it, right? The only problem was, I didn't have the money.

I'd find a different way. I could take a bus. From Juneau towards Canada and then make my way towards New York. The state where my mysterious mother is. I want to start my search for this expression of worry in the woman's eyes. I want to find her. I have to.

When I sit here with Madilyn, trying to figure out when I actually feel ready to leave, I feel tense, even when the usual liquid around my feet makes it always feel better. I face towards my best friend, making a thoughtful expression, at least I would hope so.

"What about tonight?" I ask, hopeful. I don't hear a response for a long while, and feel the familiar feeling of Avery snuggling into my side when he finally sits, in his usual silence with the plunk of the oceans water, when he fits his feet into its soft waves.

"It might be possible. I'd have to ask Jack." She tells me, and I have to laugh, but I don't. It's not funny, but it's a kind of strangeness that makes you want to laugh. I find it odd that she calls her father by his first name, not by 'dad'. It's strange, I think about for a few moments, until I sigh. Maybe it's in relief that my best friend is supporting me and taking the challenge of going with me and finding a woman we don't even know exists.

"Kay, then we could pack maybe two pairs of different clothing to keep in a backpack or something. We won't have much room when we're traveling." I speak truthfully, and when I feel Avery pull away slightly, I feel sad. "Avery?" I ask, even if I know he won't answer verbally, I still ask. I find myself wondering why he suddenly feels like he can't be right next to me. To me, I feel a wonderful, but odd relationship between us. He feels like a very special brother to me, even if he isn't really related to me, I feel like that's how it should be, with how close we are to each other. We have a very unique bond weaving our hearts together.

"I think he wants to come with us." Madilyn's voice is a stale type now, and I can tell it hurts her. I know why. I feel the same with my father. On some days when the waves are rushing madly, I would always worry for him when he'd have to go out and fish. I know how she feels, and I can't let Avery join us, no matter how much it hurts to not be able to bring him with us, to break his heart, to keep him here. But it would hurt even more if we somehow lost him. Madilyn could never lose another family member. She'd already lost her mother, as strong as she was, that I've heard from Madilyn, but Avery, both of us could never lose. It would hurt us both so much that I have to decline his wants. Just this time, and I feel tears forming in my eyes. I look down sadly, then, face towards him.

"Avery, I...I'm sorry. I can't. I can't let you go with us." I start and I hear shuffling. I reach towards him quickly, and am surprised when I actually grip at his coat sleeve to catch him. Just to explain to him. I have to. "Avery, it's just that I cannot bear to see you hurt. I mean, I am hurting you now, telling you you can't come with us, but this is different." I feel tears come down from my eyes, but don't dry them as I continue. "I just can't let you get injured, to get lost, or to lose you." I end and I can feel him squirming. I let go and as quick as I had taken hold of his coat, he was fleeing down the docks, his rain boots clattering against the wood.

I sigh, sadly and put my face in my hands. I feel hands on my shoulder. "Thank you." Madilyn says quietly, and I, this time, can't smile.

"But I hurt his feelings. I killed his dreams." I say aloud, and my voice wavers. She pats me against my back gently and I know she knows I didn't mean it.

"But you saved him from the possibility of getting hurt physically, and I could never deal with that, and from what I just witnessed and knew from the beginning, we both know we can't lose Avery." She says. I frown.

"But he isn't even related to me, but he feels like my little brother, a special one." I complain in mutters in between gasps of air as more tears thread down my cheeks.

"Who cares?" She answers. I laugh. "I mean, now we know that he will be safe, and that's all that matters." I smile and wipe the tears and gain control of my breathing, and we both get up and decide to start packing for leaving soon and to make sure it was okay with her father. Surely, Jack already knew that something was happening with Avery running back into his room, probably with tears of anger on his face. After picturing it, I felt like crying again, but stop to think again, that I had saved him.


The door to Jack's cabin closes loudly when we come in. I stand, waiting for Madilyn to ask him about a trip with just the two of us.

"Anything you need, or are you just bathing in the air conditioning?" Jack asks in a familiar hinting tone of sarcasm. I laugh, and hear next to me a nervous one joining mine.

"Um, Jack. We, we were just wondering if we could take a trip. Um, just Ember and I." Madilyn says, but her voice is nervous and quick. He doesn't answer for a few moments and I wait in hopeful silence. I hear shuffling of shoes.

"Where?" His voice calls and echoes from the place where he stands in the room.

Madilyn does not answer right away, so I take over. "New York." I tell him in response quickly. I hear a grunt from his mouth and try to think about what he would be thinking right now. As a man that just learned that his wife had a terminal illness and then died leaving him the children, I would not want to let my child go, but that was only me. I didn't really know him all that well. But I knew he was an excellent father, and good friend.

"Alright. But don't get hurt, and I want you to protect each other." He replies and I feel a great rush of relief come over me, that I almost lose my balance.

"Promise." I answer before Madilyn does. Usually she is the one that beats me in answering all the questions. I smile at that thought. Her bubbly accented personality and sometimes serious chatter makes her fun to be around.

"You too, Madilyn." Jack's voice says and I laugh. She does too.

"I promise." She replies to his demand. We stand there for a second in excited silence.

"Now, sit." He says. We do as he says and find the wooden table in the kitchen and wait for his lecture. "So, how are you getting there, to New York, I mean." He asks, and I frown.

"Ember? What were you thinking?" Madilyn asks me, because she had asked me earlier if I already had a plan. Would a bus work though? It would take a very long time to get there by that mode of transportation. What would be more useful? I can't think, I can't tell what would work. Why had I chosen to go and find this woman with weirdly affectionate eyes, and her dark blond hair? Was it her weird occurrence in my dreams, or was it just the matter that it bothered me that she just showed up in my dreams and I could really see through my usual darkness from my inborn blindness.

"How should we get there?" I ask annoyed that I can't seem to plan anything on my own. I just do what I want, not really thinking about how I would get to it, making it hard to actually do it.

"Maybe use different ways. Maybe take a bus until we get into Washington, then do something different, just so we can feel like we're not as cramped into a small bus for the whole time until New York." Madilyn suggests. I think about it, but I feel like that would take even longer, and I cannot wait that long. I have to find my mother to get answers, and my father. He means too much to me for me to not go looking for him.

"That would take too long." I explain, but feel bad. "How much money do we have if we put both of ours together?" I ask her, turning towards where she is sitting next to me. I hear her sigh, then the ruckus of backing out of her chair and walking towards her room to find her money bank.

She gets back, and the noise of coins slap against the metal mini bank as she puts it on the wooden table is loud. She opens it and starts counting, until I hear a pen scribbling on paper, and the sound of tape pulling from its dispenser.

"Almost two thousand." She answers timidly. I can't say anything in response.

"Where did you get all that money?" I hear Jack's surprised tone and I would be too, but I can't speak. Instead I feel as my jaw starts to get tired when I realize that my mouth was open in shock.

"I had a job. It was to get enough money once we learned that mom was sick. I had to get as much as possible so she would get better." She gets quieter after mentioning her mother, and I almost feel bad having to remind her of her mother just by having her get out her money.

"I'm sorry." I answer sadly. I wonder for a moment if she is crying, or if she's mad for having to mention it.

"It's alright." She replies and I can hear a smile in her voice. I smile too in relief.

"I'm glad." I say. I already know how much money I have, and together it would add up to almost three thousand. I am happy that this, with my best friend is possible to travel. I hope she doesn't mind it, helping me and such. I smile at the thought.

"Alright, well maybe you two should start packing?" Jack asks suddenly through the silence that I jump. I hear Madilyn jump up in excitement and rush to her room, almost running into her little brother on the way. At least that's what I got when I heard his footsteps emerging from his bedroom and with the rushed sprinting from Madilyn's and the scream bubbling up from her throat and the apology I knew they had somehow almost collided into a bundle of siblings. I laugh loudly.

A couple minutes pass with silence, until Jack gets up and I hear the cabinets and drawers opening and closing, breaking all silence. I wonder what he is doing, until I hear all these snacks and other edible things pour onto the wooden table in front of me. I smile. Perfect, I think. I take my backpack and push them into my pack in an unorganized manner, because I know that I will go through it later tonight before we leave. And from knowing Madilyn for the few months I have, I know she will want it to be organized. When Madilyn returns in a small jog down the hallway, we run out the door of her cabin and towards mine to grab a few clothes for me.

As the evening progressed into a late night, I knew that we would leave soon, and I almost regretted bringing Madilyn with me. I faced towards my best friend, I gave her a sorry expression, hoping she'd know what I'd meant.

Dinner was served just thirty minutes before Madilyn and I planned on taking a bus to Canada. I was both excited and nervous. I didn't even know who my mother was, what she looked like, or even where she lived in New York. How would I do this? I sigh greatly. I hadn't thought about how I'd find her.

The night was humid for Alaska. I hadn't thought about what the weather would be like in travel. If we were leaving and going into different climates and states it would be hard. I felt stupid for not thinking about that yet, even when packing, but at least I packed a simple t-shirt and shorts along with another sundress. At least I'll be comfortable, I think happily.

Madilyn enters my cabin late at night after I leave her cabin to prepare to leave. Everything I have is packed, I just have to mentally prepare myself for leaving this place. Juneau, I mean. I've never left this place, and it's all I know. Madilyn might know a little bit more, but I don't. I wish I had done at least some travelling with my father, until he went missing, that is. I know he didn't die, it's impossible. He didn't; he's just out there somewhere. I just know.

I hear her knock on my bedroom door, and tilt my head up towards her. I don't actually know exactly how tall she is, or what she really looks like. I wish I could know, but that will never happen. I was born blind, and every doctor I went to, would tell me that I would stay that way. But even so, I still think, more like wish that it could come back. If it ever was there in the first place. I just don't know how water can blind someone, it doesn't make sense, but if everyone says that's how it happened, then I'll believe it.

The bus came to pick Madilyn and me up from the city station. I heard the crash of the brakes and squeal of wheels coming to a stop at the edge where Madilyn and I waited. It was just after ten at night. I sigh, and then feel as Madilyn grabs my hand and pulls me, guiding me to the right spot. I feel the lurch of the bus as soon as I sit down next to my best friend, and have to grip her hand tight to feel reassured that I won't fall off the seat. I don't understand why the seats in busses don't have seatbelts, it seems more dangerous.

I sit in silence for a while, until I hear a familiar ton at a whisper next to me. It's Madilyn. "How are you feeling?" She asks. I try to smile, but I'm too nervous, too full of different emotions, that I don't even know what I feel at the moment.

I think about what I should say, but then sigh. She's my best friend, I don't need to worry about what I tell her. "I don't know." I answer honestly. I hear her breathe in and then out slowly.

"Nervous?" Madilyn asks now with her voice a little louder. I guess that now she doesn't really care if people hear. Their strangers anyway. And they don't know us, like we don't know them.

"Yeah. A little." I reply lightly. I heave a huge sigh to try to rid of the nerves, but I feel even more so. I just can't believe I'm leaving Alaska. I'm going somewhere, towards places I won't ever see, but will touch to try to get to know. That seems scary to me, nerve wracking really. I can't seem to swallow down the idea that I don't think I can do this; that I won't succeed.