Ariel's Daughter

Chapter 18

I stare into darkness, but this time it's different. He is gone, missing. Avery is somewhere, probably so frightened. I feel like hurling. I have to find him, I need to find Avery. I couldn't handle this, not now. Not when I just figured out that my mother really is fairytale creature.

"I'm sorry Madilyn. It's all my fault. All my fault!" I shout angrily, I know its stupid, but it really is my fault. I made him angry, and he's probably out there somewhere, shivering and frightened.

"Ember, this can't be your fault. It's his fault, not yours. You didn't do anything." Madilyn says sadly. I know she's trying to keep calm, but it's hard when your little brother goes missing. I can feel her tears rushing to her eyes, and I realize it's because I can hear her breathing too harshly, that she is shaking with fear. This time, I don't know how to comfort my best friend, and I feel terrible about it.

"I'm sorry." Is all I can say and that is clearly not enough because she sighs and pulls away from me, and I hate it.

"Where would he go? Did he do this often at home before?" My father asks all the questions I wanted to, but couldn't. He knew what this felt like, and I can't help but feel sorry, feel guilty myself.

"He's never run away before. He's always been afraid of leaving, afraid of leaving because of our mother." My best friend answers. I see her meaning loud and clear, even if she doesn't say it aloud.

"I'm sorry." I repeat. "We have to find him." I finally put into words what I need, what I'm only repeating in my mind over and over again. It will not go away until I do find him, I know it won't.

"Thank you." She responds, and her voice is full of sorrow, and I can feel the same crawling up into my own throat as I answer, "We will find him, I promise."

***

I seem to be on edge the rest of the night, not able to sleep. I feel the sun brimming the mountains and I know it's the rise of a new day. A day that brings fear that it might be another day until we find Avery. I can't sit up, I can't move. I don't want to, just in case I can't keep my promise today. Just in case.

"Come on, Ember. We have to go." Its Madilyn's voice again as she makes her way through the front door of my cabin, and brings herself to the living room couch where I have been sitting since the middle of the night. Since I knew Avery was gone.

I feel her grip my forearm and suddenly forces me up, off the couch. We leave without lunch, and I know it's a bad day to argue with her. I'm silent until we make it to the round about just outside the docks. I sigh unintentionally though. I know I've never been a fan of traffic, but usually I'm better than this, especially if I have other things on my mind.

"Here, hold my hand. I won't let anything happen." Madilyn responds, and at first I hesitate but finally give in. We cross, and I find that the sound of engines close by dissipate, until we are somewhere completely different. I feel the heavy wind on my face, and brushing my hair back, I hear it whipping air into my ears, making it hard to hear anything that Madilyn might end up saying. She probably realizes that our hands are still clasped together, but instead of loosening and falling from each others grip, they tighten around mine.

"It's going to be fine. I know we'll find him." I say in reply. I don't know how she might feel but I can guess from my own experience with my father going missing for months. I tighten my grip around her hand as well, trying to bring more comfort to my best friend, hoping it will help somehow.

"Thanks, Ember." She answers, and I don't know what she is thanking me for. I haven't done anything yet. I haven't found her little brother, and I haven't been a good friend in the process. I just know it.

"But, I haven't found him. I haven't been the best friend you need. Madilyn, you have no necessary reason to thank me at all." I answer, and immediately I know it sounds stupid and probably more mean than what had been built in my head. She sighs, and I know I've said the wrong thing. We stop walking, and now I can really feel the wind storming around us from all directions.

"No, I really do mean it. You have been worthy of a thank you, and more than that. You've opened yourself up to the possibility of being friends, no, more than that with my little brother. To allow him to be himself, to cling to someone he trusts. To actually want to be around people. You've done that, and you've made his life better, way better in fact. You've changed my little brother right in front of my eyes, Ember. And I have to really thank you. I believe in you, and when you say we will find Avery, I promise not to get mad at you if we don't right away. I promise to still be there for you when you need it, and you have to promise the same, because that's what my little brother needs." Madilyn answers.

I try not to smile insanely, but unfortunately I know it has betrayed me greatly. Madilyn laughs, and that only confirms it. "Well, to answer, I do promise." I say. I know I probably sound crazy, to promise something that big. To promise to keep him safe and happy the way he had when I'd first met him. To have him at my side almost all the time. I knew it sounded crazy to believe I'd be there with Avery for that long, and to keep him safe and literally at my side, but I knew in my heart, that I'd have no control over it, that in my heart I wouldn't mind it at all.