Ariel's Daughter

Chapter 19

I desperately wanted to know where to find Avery, but the feeling always subsided when I realized I didn't really know Avery all that well. Yes, I knew his feelings, his emotional attachment to me, and the wreck he was because of his past, but I didn't know where he would go when he was sad, or what he'd really do when he wasn't with me or Madilyn. That's what I felt bad for. I didn't actually know him.

"Madilyn, what was Avery like before..." I trail off, not sure if I should say it. I know Avery is sensitive to it, and furthermore I know Madilyn is even more so, even if she hides it well. I know its because she knows she is older and has to protect her little brother. Instead of a deep frown I expect from my best friend, I see a faint smile play on her face.

"Happy, always running around like a wild little boy and saying he was a superhero. He's always wanted to think of himself as a superhero, but it changed when we learned that our mother was sick. He became quieter, small and shy. Like he was scared that he couldn't have fun while our mother laid in the hospital. Ember, he used to be so happy. Such a happy little superhero." Madilyn says sadly at the end and I can hear the familiar sadness of her own thoughts of her mother in her voice. I know she feels as if she has to hide her sad feelings to make Avery feel better, but she can't. It won't make her feel better. I sigh sadly.

"Madilyn, its alright to be sad. I know you hide your feelings so Avery feels better." I say suddenly. I can feel tension build up between us. She pulls me onto a wooden hard bench, and I wait for her to reply. She must feel mad at me for that unexpected statement about her, or even furious if she's stopped us. There is silence for a long moment, and suddenly her hands are clutching at my dress and coat I wear to protect myself from the cold morning.

"Ember, I can't. I have to make sure I am the perfect older sister. I have to be sure that Avery will talk again. I have to be sure that I never cry about my mother, that I am strong for him. I have to be sure that he is okay before I even think about myself." Madilyn shouts at me, and her grip becomes harder and harder as she speaks.

"Hey, hey. It's okay. Madilyn, he must know that she was your mother too. That you can feel hurt, that you can cry about it too. It wasn't just his mother, Madilyn. He has to be the one to bring back his voice, just like you have to be the one who helps yourself. Madilyn, you can't just hide and hope that Avery gets better because of that, it brings you down in the process. Madilyn, I care about you too." I answer her, and hope that it doesn't sound pathetic, that it will give her a new foundation on what she should be doing. What might make it easier for both her and her little brother.

"Thank you." She says. Its simple, but I know it means much more than those two words spoken. I let her snuggle her head on my shoulder and cry. I feel her shudder every now and then and hear the short breaths that make me feel better. She is finally being honest.

***

We finally make it back to our cabin, but Avery is still not anywhere to be seen. "Maybe he'll be home when we get there." I suggest happily, trying to set a better mood for my best friend.

"Thanks, Ember. Really." Madilyn says, and I find myself frown. I know from the sense of tone in her sad voice that she is lying. Same as I was just doing, trying to make me feel better. I sigh. I need to do something. Something to make Avery come back. I had to find him.

When we finally return empty-handed to the docks we are tired and sullen. I can hear the disappointment in everyone's voices when we open the cabin door to Madilyn's. Jack is probably terrified, I know. No father would be calm in this kind of situation. My father is still next to Jack, in full support. I smile, my father is the best in comforting. "Jack, it's going to be alright. He will find his way back." Father says. I know in my mind that he could be right, but I have this unsettling feeling that something isn't right. Something isn't right. I know it.