Ariel's Daughter

Chapter 9

I wake up to an odd feeling. I was rocking back and forth but not to the familiar waves of a cabin built into a dock, like at home; it was sudden movements that crashed my shoulder into something hard. I open my eyes for the first time since I've woken, and then feel a hand on my left shoulder just as I'm being rocked into the metal wall on my right. I guess its Madilyn, but without her voice, I can never know. Only Avery is familiar with his soft, gentle touches, that I know at once it's him. I smile at the thought, but then focus. Feeling bad that I don't know my best friend's tone of touch and how she might gently let me acknowledge she's next to me. I memorize the soft skin, and the small difference in the hand, where a callus forms just below her middle finger. Her fingers are long, but nice and warm. It has to be Madilyn, who else would put a comforting hand on my shoulder? Then I get a chilling thought, what if it wasn't Madilyn. I shiver, even though I'm not cold.

"Madilyn?" I ask, just to reassure myself its not some stranger. I feel her move, and her hand removes itself from my shoulder. It feels strange without the presence there.

"It's me." She says quietly. "Its morning. How are you feeling?" I smile grateful that it is my best friend.

"I'm fine." I answer in sort of a trance at the weird rocking. Now I remember the trip, the bus. I must be on the bus going towards Canada, an unknown place. I sigh. I'm going to find my mother, whom I've never known: somehow, I'll find her. Soon.

***

I hear the crash and sting of the brakes from the big tour bus. I slowly stand, and then stretch my body, twisting it every which way because it's stiff from being on the bus for twelve hours. I feel Madilyn grab my arm gently and we make our way down the small aisle in between seats that I feel as I brush against them. "Be careful. These steps are bigger." Is all Madilyn says and we go slow, until I make it to the sidewalk. I hear my stomach growl, from not eating anything for this long but ignore it. We don't have enough money to be buying food on the way. I don't know how much we spent on getting here from Juneau, but I do know that I don't want to spend it on food and then later find out we don't have anymore money for busses and food; that would not turn out well. I sigh, and breathe in the fresh air around me. The air on the bus ride had been getting sweaty and warm from so many people in a confined space. This was better. I felt like I could actually breathe.

I feel a breeze and rush of the wind as I wait for another bus. Then: I hear more familiar brakes and weird mechanic sound of a bus coming to a stop at the sidewalk. I wait until I am ready. "You ready?" I hear Madilyn say to me, and I stand, nodding at no one. "Alright, let's go." She says, but I know it's not to anyone in particular. I huff in a huge breath of fresh air and hold it in my lungs for as long as I can as we step into the stinking bus. It smells odd, and the seats are not comfortable.

We sit, and I feel like I've been here in this spot for hours once we pull out from the sidewalk. I sigh. I've figured out one thing. I hate busses.

As we progress through darkness, I feel a hand on my shoulder. "It's going to be okay." It's Madilyn. I try to smile and realize that the reason she mentioned it being alright, was because I was sad. I hadn't realized it felt like sadness until she told me that. I knew it was because
I wanted so badly to really meet my mother, to figure out my story, to really understand who I was, the reason why she left. I didn't understand why she'd marry my father with the intentions of later leaving him for New York. It didn't make sense. If she had loved him, she would have stayed with us, she wouldn't have left a beautiful place like Juneau for an incredibly busy place like New York. I just didn't believe it; couldn't believe it.

I needed to be there, now. But that was not going to happen. I was getting there soon enough, I guess. I sigh, a little annoyed at the time schedule we were restricted to. It felt unfair, but to think about it that way made it seem childish and I deeply inhale breath and then exhale. 'I'll just have to be more patient.' I think sadly.