Sage ➸ Carl Grimes

33 ➸ the beginning

IN MY VEINS by ANDREW BELLE

SAGE

Cold nights were starting to get warmer.

I couldn't depict if I deserved to feel the warmth return to my cold heart, but it slowly was doing so. As the moon rolled over, and the sun peeked over its horizon, I would be holding Carl's hand and admiring the earth shift with my wounded love right beside me.

Day after day, things began returning.

It started with conversation. I would be in the hospital cafeteria, and a few of the nurses would help Carl in there. They had to get him moving around a bit, once he was able to, and he requested to have a meal from the cafeteria itself. I was sitting at a table with Noah—hardly eating a granola bar to stay alive—and Carl would ask to join us. We talked a little, but there wasn't much to say.

At night, when he was ready to go to sleep, Carl would make sure I was sitting right beside him, or else he wouldn't be able to rest. He never told me he needed me there; he just showed it. Looking back on it, I began to realize Carl himself didn't even know why he wanted me there. He couldn't recollect it.

His memories of our love weren't all gone; only faded, and hiding in the dark.

A few days later, I even made him smile.

Carl asked me to tell him a story, nothing in particular, and I gave him the full description of my third grade talent show failure. My most embarrassing story from before the apocalypse had made him smile, and god, I would tell a million stories just to see it.

And now, Carl was asking questions.

He was beginning to remember things about his past, and even some about ours.

Carl asked why blue was my favorite color; which was a conversation we had a few weeks back, while on the way to the hospital.

Him recollecting things from the past had given me hope. Carl visited with his little sister Judith, who was the only other person that could make such a cold and damaged boy smile. Judith had said my name, and the way he looked at me after that relieved me.

He was remembering.

But would things ever be the same again?

Standing over one of the hospital balconies, I allowed my body to slightly hunch over the railing. The slight breeze drifted my sandy blonde hair to rise from the surface of my face, swaying it to the left, and in the direction of the wind. I felt the thin air nip at my skin, but overlooking a dead city had never felt so satisfying and fulfilling.

I heard movement from behind me, and I instinctively shot my head around.

Expecting it to be just about anybody else in the world, Carl Grimes was by the hospital doors, his hand on the knob. He slowly let the door close behind him, it being us two.

He was wearing on a simple, grey shirt; one that made his blue eye nearly turning that duller and more mysterious shade. His eye was bandaged up, nothing changed in that circumstance, and I knew very well that nothing ever would. His face was softened, and as we made eye contact, he didn't look at me the same way anymore. I didn't feel threatened by his glares, nearly welcomed. I was in love with this wounded boy.