Forbidden Love

I Can't - 02

JHO'S P.O.V.

"Uhm Jho, sorry. Di ko naman pwedeng sabihin kay coach na wag kayong ipagsama ni Bea sa isang room. Sorry." Ate Ly reached for my hand when I was about to go and sleep.

Well, ganito kasi yan. Sa isang room, dalawang double deck ang meron. Si ate Ly sa baba, ako sa taas.

Sa kabila, si Kim sa baba, si Bea sa taas. I don't know if it is just a simple coincidence,pareho kaming nasa taas.
"Wala yun ate Ly, it's been months na rin no. Wala na 'yon. Uhm, I've already moved on." I fake a laugh and lied.

Ha-ha. Daheck Jho, you've moved on already? Sino niloloko mo? I thought to myself.

"Sige Jho. I guess you are now. So, matulog ka na ha? We'll have our training ulit tomorrow." Ate Ly informed me.

She's been my ate since I became one of the Ateneo Lady Eagles. She never failed to let me feel special when I am away from my family. I love ate Alyssa like my real sister.

She was also there when I needed a shoulder to cry on. I cannot say naman to my parents that my heart's broken because of Bea, because of a girl.

And that's what hurts the most. I am in love with Bea and I don't think my family will support me.

Flashback

I already said it.

"Bei, you know that I love you so much, I love you enough to let you go. I'm sorry if I can't be the girlfriend you deserve to have. But please, believe me when I say that I love you in every single day that we're together. I guess we should not let ourselves fall deeper. We should end this Bei, we should be just friends."

I managed to say those words between my sobs. I can feel demons hunting me now. I'm crying as hard as fuck. It hurts so much.

"No Jho. I can't, I can't have just as my friend. I don't think I can call you my friend after all we had Jho. If you want to end our relationship, I prefer we should end our connections as well. Ayoko na Jho, I want to hate you after this."

Bea said, umiiyak na rin siya. Di ko na siya pinigilan sa gusto niya, instead, I just gave her an embrace. Our last hug as a couple.

After a few minutes, I stepped back and broke our hug. Without saying anything, I walked away from her while crying.

I don't know what to do. I need someone who can understand me.

"Come here Jho." Tiningnan ko kung sino yung may ari ng boses na 'yon. I saw ate Ly, she hugged me so tight that made me cry even harder.

"Ate Lyyy *sobs* I love her so much ate Ly. Sobra ate Ly, sobraaaa."

"Sshh. Iiyak mo lang Jho, you'll be okay rin. Don't worry, I'm always here, your Ate Alyssa will always be here."

"Ang sakit ate Ly. Di ko kaya." I said as I rub my eyes to remove tears. She pushed me gently and said,

"Kaya mo yan Jho. I've been there, done that."

End of flashback

Feel ko tama naman yung sinabi ko. Although nag sinungaling ako kay ate Alyssa at sa sarili ko, I think it would be better if I will start thinking and convincing myself that I've already moved on.

But honestly speaking, kanina while my earphones were plugged in my phone and ears, I was listening to our playlist.

I remember the time when Bea told me to listen to this song entitled A Beautiful Mess by Jason Mraz.

Flashback

We're now here at Bea's condo unit. Well, di naman siguro kataka-taka kung may condo si Bea right? Haha.

"Hey! You blinked Bea! I won!"

Patagalan kasi kami tumitig eh. Haha

"Yeah whatever Jho. Uhm by the way, have you heard the song I was telling you yesterday?" She said.

I sang the chorus as a reply.

"Jho, us is the most beautiful mess that happened in my life. The only mess that made feel alive and you're the reason why that beautiful mess came. I love you so much, okay? Happy monthsarry Jho."

End of flashback

Here I am again, reminiscing those moments while crying. Stupid me, letting go of someone I love so much tapos iiyak iyak din.

BEA'S P.O.V

"You okay Jho?" I can't help but ask Jho. I know I'm stupid for asking her but I heard a few sobs kanina.

I waited for her answer but I got nothing.

Oh I forgot, she's moved on na pala. Fvck it hurts. Nakamove on na siya tapos ako konting galaw niya lang, eto nanaman. Should we really stay like  this? I can't :'(

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